14th February… Valentines Day, the one day where couples either get extra romantic or spend the entire day angry/ disappointed with their significant other.
When you are in a relationship for a long period of time the romance can sometimes…dwindle.
What was once an exciting occasion becomes something dreaded, you either spend too much time worrying about what to do for the day or what to buy and not enough time actually enjoying each other.
I personally have never seen the big deal with Valentines. It’s nice to get a card, a gift, chocolate, flowers but to only receive that kind of treatment once a year? It seems kind of silly. I think it takes away that special feeling in your chest you get when your significant other buys you something just because they wanted too, or saw it and thought of you or knew a box of chocolate or some flowers would put a smile on your face.
So in order to take a step back from unrealistic expectations and the gruelling task of trying to keep those expectations and I wanted to share mine and Dan’s first Valentines together.
Thursday 14th February 2013, I had spent the whole morning getting ready and preparing myself for seeing my boyfriend. I had picked out my outfit for the day, had done my makeup, my hair sorted and made sure all his Valentines gifts and card was where I wanted them.
It wasn’t long before I heard a small yet firm knock on my front door, I let my mum answer it as I double check myself in the mirror before retrieving his gifts and making my way downstairs to greet my boyfriend.
we spent a little time in mine, opening gifts and cards, thanking each other and then relaxing with my family for a little while before we headed out. Now this was our first Valentines day, the relationship aspect as well as the relationship itself was a whole new concept to me and so we didn’t have anything big planned or anything planned alone.
We had planned to have an unofficial couple date. Now as I said my relationship was VERY new at the time and it was at the stage where I was forcing my best friend to third-wheel (or fourth-wheel when she brought her boyfriend?) as much as possible. And so when Valentines was creeping around the corner we had planned to tell our boyfriends that we wanted to go to her boyfriend’s house and have a kind of double date going on.
Once we got there we all instantly started drinking and talking. It was so relaxing and just what I needed to help get rid of my nerves. We spent the rest of the day drinking and talking to our friends about the future, the past and everything in between.
Everything was going well, we were laughing, joking, talking and at times singing along to the music we had on, it was great. Until we ran out of drinks… We had gotten down to our last cans, we were all still feeling the good vibes that we’d brought out in each other when we then all started to get really hungry but there wasn’t really anything in.
It was 12am at night, we were all drunk off alcohol and each other’s company, I was sat on the couch cuddling with Dan when my friend suggested we go to the shops for more drinks and food and we were lucky enough to be a 20-minute walking distance from a 24-hour Tesco.
With drinks in our belly’s and food on our mind, I and Dan held hands as we made our way out and started on our adventure to the shop. We all probably looked like wobbling, idiots but we were wobbly idiots happy and in love.
I honestly couldn’t tell you how long it actually took us all to make it safely to the shops but I do remember me and my friends laughing and joking about how good life was when we were young enough to play on those little children-toy-rides that some shopping centres/ big shopping areas have. That then prompted our boyfriends to try and fit themselves into one of those said children-toy-rides. (If you know what they are called, please do put it down in the comments for me!).
We stood there for a good ten minutes laughing at them and taking pictures (the only pictures we took of that night) before finally making our way into the shop. I can’t say how long we were in the shop either but I do believe we were in there longer than we planned and I hang my head every time I think about any of the late night staff hearing/ bearing witness to our drunken states. I don’t really remember what we bought other than a big bag of curly fries (I picked those). After another wobbly walk back to our friend’s house we instantly started cooking and then talking.
I remember the night just being so relaxing, no pressure, no expectations, no stress. It was all good fun that left us all with some good memories in the end. It wasn’t long after having our food that we all decided to call it a night.
Me and Dan we were to sleep on a long but narrow couch and although there was no room on it and the room itself was cold, being cuddled next to Dan I couldn’t help but think the night was still perfect and there wasn’t one thing I wanted to change.
I woke up the next morning, incredibly hungover but I honestly couldn’t have been happier as I left my friend’s house hand in hand with my boyfriend.
I guess what I want everyone to take from this is that Valentines isn’t a big deal, love isn’t a big massive gesture you need to show the world or brag about. Sure now and again it’s nice, but how nice is it really when you have spent so much time stressing? Sometimes even arguing?
If you love your partner don’t wait till one stressful day to show the length of your love, its all about the little daily gestures. The forehead kisses when you get home, the goodnights before going to bed, the I love you’s at random moments or before leaving, the little messages you send one another, handing hold and well I’m sure you’re all getting my point by now, don’t stress over one day. Enjoy your whole lives together and treasure the moments, good and bad.