This is a topic that has affected my life in more than one way, it’s something that creeps up on you and takes a hold of you without you even realising.
I am of course talking about Anxiety. The silent bully living in your head. I’ve been suffering from anxiety for far too long . I have spent many, many years trying to rid myself of this or beat this… sickness. I have managed to overcome it in many ways, while it has still managed to destroy me in many other ways.
I am so sick and tired of people treating anxiety as something as little as the common cold, something you just have to deal with until it goes away on it own because that’s not how it works, that’s not what anxiety feels like.
Anxiety for me tears into me every second of everyday, I wake up with it and go to bed with it, it’s become a full time house mate that I’ve never even wanted. It affects my mobility to move around and function as that of a normal person, my legs turn to jelly, i feel a though I’m floating out of my body and allowing something heavy and terrible take over.
Sometimes it creates an invisible wall, stopping me from moving, from going any further and continuing on, on my journey. It has stopped me from leaving my house for a little over two years and although I have overcome that part of my anxiety there are still far too many days I find myself not being able to leave the house.
I can get sick, I can start to shake until people start getting concerned that I’m going to take off like a rock in space. I loose sense of where I am because I end up so focused on the feelings it’s pulsing through me. It takes over me completely until I feel like am nothing but Anxiety.
And i’m so sick and tired of people thinking its nothing because there are ‘worse things out there’. Perhaps there is but those are not what’s ruining and taking over my life, Anxiety is, Anxiety has.
So many people suffer with this and yet don’t acknowledge it, they try sweeping it under the rug in the hopes that it will go away. Well I tried that one for years and Anxiety has still won over parts of my life, to this day it still attacks me and stops me from doing things I want to do most.
Anxiety makes you feel so useless and unworthy of even being around at times. I look at those who are able to over come the anxiety they have it makes me cry, although I’m happy for them and proud of them for being able to over come it, it makes me feel even weaker knowing my Anxiety is still controlling every aspect of my life.
People need to stop being so judgemental, watching and judging someone else’s life for what? because why? What does it matter if someone has anxiety, depression, BPD, SPD, extreme suicidal thoughts? What does their struggles have to do with you? Why do people feel the need to place them into categories that in their eyes matter most, because you don’t suffer or was able to over come your mental issue?
When are people going to wake up and realise that WE ARE DIFFERENT and that means dealing with different things in different ways, it means having something a little more sever than others, it means some people get lucky and don’t have to go through anything like this. It means that for others their problems really are all that big to them and trying to make them seem like nothing just makes the person feel like they are nothing. You are helping their problem take hold by making them feel as though they have no one to turn to, no one that understands.
I guess the point of today’s post is this, leave people be. If you aren’t out to help them, then leave them. Stop comparing things to other things all the time and remember that everyone deals with things differently, some people are handed a better hand than others, that doesn’t give you the right to make someone feel small because life has handed them something that seems bigger than it may actually be. In their world, it may be just as big as your problems may seem small in someone else world.
Try and be that positive voice in strangers day, be the positive impact in those you care for lives. Life is unpredictable, you never know what it’s going to throw you. So stop making it harder on yourselves and others around you.
Stop making people feel bad for having anxiety, stop thinking its something so little that it’s basically laughable to most people when its mentioned. Anxiety can hit anyone at any time, it doesn’t discriminate against ANYTHING or ANYONE and one day you could end up with such sever anxiety you’ll find yourself regretting ever second you thought anxiety didn’t mean much, that anxiety was something as little as a common cold.
Try and enjoy the life you have, find ways to make it better and help make other’s feel a little better. Kindness doesn’t cost a thing, so spread that free love and leave the hate and leave the negativity behind you.