Night time is the best and worst time for me. It’s where the time where I seem to have the energy I wish I had during the days, where the world around me falls quieter and some what peaceful.
It also the time where my anxiety shoots up to different levels and my mind runs wild with all my thoughts that I’ve managed to put on pause throughout the days… In fact I’ve been so lost in thought tonight that I almost forgot to write and post out this post!
What Plagues my mind at night?
Usually its where all my ideas for my WIP (work in progress – my novel – ), it’s where my ideas come alive for my characters, scenes and plots. I tend to write a lot of notes down so I can look back on them at a later date when I’m not so sleep deprived.
If I’m not trying to come up with ideas for that, then i’m usually working on my blog and blog content, or something that relates to my blog. I’m constantly thinking of ways I can better my blog, make it more appealing while still keeping my blog as a representation of my personality. Of me and what makes me, me.
Tonight I’ve had other things on my mind besides new ideas for my novel or blog.
- My mum has her surgery tomorrow and although I’m not at all worried about the surgery, there is concern for after the surgery. Winter time is never a great time for my family, even less so for my mum and I know there is going to be a little struggle coping and healing from the surgery so close to Winter however I’ve seen first hand just how strong and resilient of a woman my mother is and know that with her family by her side she’ll get through it all and come out happier and stronger through it all in the end.
”No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” – Hal Borland– Hal Borland
- Something else that’s been occupying my thoughts tonight is my recent weight gain. I’m struggling between a mix of emotions from feeling happy proud of myself for being able to do this on my own but I’m also finding myself struggling with the actual weight I’m putting on, struggling to find myself comfortable in my own body (not that I’ve ever really been comfortable in my own body but this seems…different…?) and I’m not quite sure what to do with my feelings on the matter.
- I received some devastating news a few days ago that has left me…. a little loss for words and a little heart broken to say the least. I’ve always believe in fate, in karma, believed that things always happen for a reason. People and things come into our lives to either teach us a lesson or help us through challenges in our lives. But when bad things happen it’s hard to find the good when something so bad goes wrong.
- As always thoughts of my future are always dwelling on my mind, there are far too many things that need doing. I just feel like there is never enough time, never enough years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, or seconds to get through everything, to get to where I want to be.
- The mountain of book reviews that I am still trying to get through (I plan on sharing most of them with you as part of my Blogtober content, to take the weight off somewhat) which just never seems to be ending, especially with the personal reading I’ve been doing on top of book review reading.
honestly, I cloud probably drone on all night about the thoughts that swirl around my head and take my attention span hostage, but most are either too dark or too personal for me to really want to get into.
I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far, those who are joining in on Blogtober, I hope all is going well! With my Late night thoughts coming to an end, I hope you all have a peaceful night. Goodnight!