Books saved my life

“She reads books as one would breath air, to fill up and life.”

Today I thought I would share with everyone the real truth behind my love for reading. Now I know I have told the story a few times to people on how I became so obsessed with reading after all I used to write and read my own stories when I was child, however, I hardly ever picked up a book written by another person.

But on a particularity boring day, the sun was shining, the warm weather had kicked in and so too had the start of my extreme anxiety and the start of depression. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house that day, my step dad had decided that football would be an amazing thing to watch that day and so I ventured upstairs into my mum room (I used to nap my mums room because I always felt safer there) but I wasn’t able to go to sleep. I wasn’t able to shut out the world around me and so picked up the first book my hand touched. Which just so happened to be ‘Twilight’ by Stephenie Meyer.

I had found a new love for books that day, I was unable to place it down and ended up taking it to my room where I continued to read it through out the night with no sleep. Once that was finished I instantly picked up the next and the next and the next.

I was devastated when I finished reading all of the Twilight books. What was I going to read now? That was the first book that had ever sucked me in and made forget the world I was in and to feel as though I was in the world of someone else.

With that thought in mind I ventured back to my mums room to take a look at all the other books my mum had laying around. My mother is one of the biggest book lovers I have ever known, loved reading from an early age as a child her favourite books to read where the Grimm Tales by Jacob Grimm books. I’ve recently bought her an old book by Jacob Grimm for mothers day that I really hope she enjoys.

The next book I picked up was The Vampire Diaries Volume 1; Awakening & The struggle – book 1-2 by L. J. Smith which I had just gotten overly obsessed with. I never wanted to put the book down for even a second of my time! It was after reading these books my love for reading truly came into play and I bought book after book.

At this point in my life I had start high school and was entering probably my 5th month of being there, already started the process of distancing myself away from people, I stopped hanging out with my friends and when I did I never had anything to say or add to our conversations. It was as though I no longer cared for the social game, I didn’t care if the pretty girls like me and thought I was cool, I no longer cared if I had any of the boys attention, I no longer cared for my work or the grades that I had spent all my life working hard to get better at. I just didn’t care anymore. Life with and around humans just didn’t seem like something I could carry on doing any more. I didn’t feel human… I still don’t at times.

I tried, I tried to keep in the conversation with my friends, I tried to engage in petty talk and breaking up arguments between my girlfriends, I tried to show interest in my school crush and I really did try caring about the mark the teachers were handing back to me but everything had started to feel…. not pointless but….Insane.

It honestly seemed insane to me that we were forced to do things we didn’t want to just because we were born into this society, because the people in power have told us this is best and this is what must be done. I noticed more the older I got the less people cared for you and your well being, teachers only start caring about the marks and numbers the school is making, kids stop dreaming about becoming a singers and wrestlers and start thinking about child-care or building… I watched kids go from dreams to piratical thinking and it killed any and every magic I thought was left in the world.

I believed all magic was gone by this point. I was locking myself away, I didn’t want to interact with anyone friend, family or stranger. There were a few moments of self-harm (luckily it was all shallow and not at all something that would leave any scars), there were so many moments that I just slept away because I was so sick of being awake, of being alive and there were countless of nights/days where I thought about suicide, where I thought about all the pros to be going gone, to not being here anymore… but there was always a major con that kept me here.

My family. Who’d help look after them, who would be there for them? Who would drop everything at drop of a hat to go running to try and save the day? My mother and siblings me the absolute world to me, they’re the only people in the world that understand my crazy & weird and love me unconditionally for it anyway. I couldn’t put them through something like that, I could do that and leave them thinking there was something they could have done, I didn’t want them living with the guilt that there was something that could have been done.

But even that thought was barely keeping me on. It wasn’t until I opened up that first book by Stepheine Meyer that magic was restored back into my life, it was as if a switch had been touched and a light had come on. All the fairy-tales that become Grimm’s Tales for me became the magical, soft and vibrant fairy tales they once used to be to me.

Books have restored my love for life, its given me a reason to go on, it’s given me something to escape to when reality gets to hard and scary. The creative imagination and other worldly views created by amazing people is what’s inspired me to become a writer of my own, to become an aspiring author who will one day have her book out on shelves in shops and in photos on Instagram from those who have read/bought my creation.

If you don’t read, if you’re kids don’t read then I beg you give it try! Find them a book they will like or do what my mum taught me to do and teach your kids to write their own little stories they can read. Books saved my life in the same way music saves others. It’s restored my faith in magic and has given me a goal to focusing my energy on.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy books, and that’s kind of the same thing…

This is one quote i have forever and always loved because it’s true, for me anyway. happiness can’t be bought but I find a little bit of happiness in every book i open, in ever page i turn and in ever new world I enter.

Why getting a pet could be the best decision you made for your Mental Health

At some point or another we all get depressed and fall into some dark hole in the hopes of it swallowing us whole. And I would say that the large majority of us suffer from some kind of mental health illness that we try to keep to ourselves out of fear of being ridiculed in some way.

Like a lot of you, I too suffer from mental health issues that at times had and still does cripple me to the point of being an nonfunctional human being with no passion or motivation for anything.

But a lot of that changed the day I got a cat (pictured down below). In September 2013 I – with the consent from my mam – introduced Kitt-Katt to the family. Since that moment we have had a crazy/strange but close relationship between owner and pet.

And by crazy/strange I mean I don’t really feel like Kitt is my pet but more like…A spirit animal. Spirit guide, maybe? He seems unusually in tuned to my emotions to the point where at times he mimicked them or displays the same kind of emotion or vibe that I am displaying that day.

He helps me through my bad days just by coming up to me when I am upset and I don’t want to be around everyone. He always has a knowing look to him in those moments and gets extra affectionate.

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Me and Kitt

He helps me to get out of bed in the mornings when I don’t have the will to get up and do anything. One look at his face with his big green eyes and hearing his little demanding meow for breakfast and I’m up, in the kitchen and feeding him.

Since getting Kitt-Katt six years ago I have added two more additions to my furry family (pictured down below) and now I have three little demanding meows to get me out of bed in the mornings.

There’s something about knowing that you have a tiny little creature walking around your house helping you when your emotions take flight, rely solo on you to keep them alive, happy and healthy that, helps keep me grounded. It reminds me that even on the days where I feel unwanted, where I feel not needed and worthless that there is a creature that needs me.

And it’s always good to feel like you aren’t alone, even on those days/nights where you are. They are a constant company that I personally find relaxing. Not to mention they make for a great reading buddy!

But as relaxing, calming and soothing as they can be, they can be just as much of a distraction from the terrible thoughts running through your head or distract you from the crap that is going on right at that moment.

Sometimes I would just lock my self outside or in a room with Kitt-Katt and play with him for hours on end. His favourite toy is a feather tied to the end of a fishing line that was attached to a plastic red handle (I think they are £4.99 in B&M but please don’t quote me on that).

Of course, I’m not saying you should just go out there and get yourself a cat, but what I am saying is that if you find yourself in the position where you can get yourself an animal then I totally recommend you do! Be that cat, dog, fish, parrot, bunny, hamster and so on…

It isn’t about the animal it’s self but rather the connection you and your pet share together. It’s that bond and weird understanding between owner & pet, between animal best friend and human best friend.

There are so many positives to getting an animal to brighten up your home and life. But before I thank you all for taking the time to read this post I want to leave you all with one thing.

When looking into getting yourself an animal, a pet, a new family member for your home and furry friend, I do implore that you look into getting yourself a rescue pet from the RSPCA.

There are so many loving animals that have been placed in there because their owner could no longer keep them or no longer wanted them. There are so many out there who have been abused, dumped and abandoned, who have not been shown the love that the deserve, that you could give to one of them. There’s virtually nothing wrong with them other than the scars left on them by someone else. The love is still the same from them, if not more extraordinary for an animal who has experience nothing but pain and heartache.

The RSPCA is very good at caring for the animals but they can only do so for so long. They train to the best of their abilities and even handle all their medical care. They need loving, caring people like yourself to take them & show them what love is. The love they can give back is so rewarding!

In my experience, they have been the best “emotional support pets” a girl could ever wish for. Of course, that isn’t to say people who go out and buy their pets are bad people, there isn’t any shame in wanting something. But in a case like this or for a second pet, a surprise present for someone (although I personally don’t like to refer to pets as “presents” it feels almost too…impersonal to talk about an animal in that way?) I really would implore you into looking at getting a rescue animal.

To find your local RSPCA Centre near you, CLICK HERE.

If you enjoyed reading this then please like, share and comment you’re thoughts! I would love to read what some of you think on the subject. Or if you have any tips, advice or even some constructive criticism, thank you all for reading!