We Are Not A Dumping Ground For Your Misplaced Anger

If you follow me on Twitter then I’m sure a lot of you will be aware of the…twitter melt down that went on last night.

Last night I had come across a rather angry man on a twitter chat I like to join in on ever Tuesday hosted by @Ukblogawards. A chat that I have enjoyed immensely since I started blogging this year.

He was being extremely rude in their comments, claiming that the @Ukblogawrds were neglecting and ignoring him for no reason. I decided to intervene and try and stop him from continuing posting abusive and rude comments, at one point I told him the internet may not be the place for him if he is so paranoid, defensive and aggressive on it, I even let him know that my dms are always open to anyone seeking help, advice or need to talk because they have no one to talk to or because they aren’t comfortable talking to those they do know…only to have him throw one at me to which I told him was completely rude and out of line and that I didn’t feel comfortable having my dms open to such an angry and aggressive person.

His reply to that was to start messaging me. Once it had seemed I had managed to talk him down he started talking about his blog for male mental health. First he had stated that he was angry because he is struggling and alone, 2 weeks ago he’d stated to me that he was supposedly fine. I told him he couldn’t be taking his anger like that on others, that he was only turning away any potential help that could be offered to him because of his aggression.

He said he was sorry, I accepted it and then he started talking more about him feel down and struggling (I won’t get into what was actually said word for word as all my conversations -good or bad – stays private between me and who ever contacts me. I respect privacy).

I eventually suggest he take up yoga, I felt like after the brief talk that yoga would be a great way to help him control and challenge his emotions into a more positive energy or at the very least help control them enough that they wouldn’t over rule him. Yoga has done wonders in helping me with my emotions since I started taking it more seriously.

He then asked if he could trust in confining in me and I told him what I tell everyone, ‘All my conversations with people are strictly confidential and non-judgemental (however if you start talking or I feel that what we are talking about will lead to harm of you or another person then I will feel the obligated to reach out to someone else who would be much suited to helping you)

After informing me that he has told women stuff before and its ended up all over social media, he also said that he wasn’t trying to say that I would do that but maybe I could understand why he was anxious. I did understand but what he said had also raised a little red flag for me and made me a little uncomfortable. He had specified ‘women’ having done him harm and lending a helping hand in his paranoid thoughts and distrust. After he had said that I instantly started thinking that right now maybe opening up and talking to a male would be more benefiting for him right now than any female mental health blogger/advocate.

But I had already offered my services and it didn’t feel right to turn someone (who was clearly seeking help of some sort) away. I spoke to him for a little and then things were directed to his blog and about him feeling bad that it wasn’t so good. He told me that no one followed his blog nor engaged with him and he believes that 99% of the blogging community hates him.

I said to him, ‘You just need to try a different approach, the blogging community doesn’t hate you, you just need to do more research and change the way you think/approach things (because being angry and getting aggressive doesn’t work).

He said he wanted to be a successful mental health blog for men (we all want to see our blogs become successful). So again I suggest he does more research, tries different approaches, and not to expect things too happen fast. He then went on to tell me that he had been blogging for 4 four years and six posts up.

So I told him that six posts isn’t nearly enough (especially when you want to be a successful blogger of any sorts). That he had to put more work, time and attention into his posts. I also said that blogging is almost a 24hr job (for people like me its pretty much is 24/7). I then went onto to saying that if he wasn’t willing or flexible enough to be more consistent in his blogging them maybe it wasn’t the right thing for him right now. After all, sometimes life just gets in the way of what we really want to do.

After that his reply was to tell me that, ‘he was trying to keep himself calm but he had done 5 years in uni doing marketing and blogging, that he knows how to blog and what he is doing. and told me that I am patronising him like everyone else, that everyone thinks hes dumb rather than trying to give him advice.’

That was not at all what I was trying to do or imply. Simply that research is what has benefited me since I started blogging this year and it could him as well as other.

He then starts to get aggressive with me again. Telling me he knew how to blog, he just didn’t know what the point was (he did swear around this point at me) when no one supports him.

I told him his behaviour was out of line and that I didn’t mean any harm in what I said, that he had asked me for advice and advice is what I gave him. It wasn’t my fault if he saw it as advice or not, that’s what it was and nothing more.

He told me because I called him rude it meant that nobody liked him. That he has been humiliated, hurt and betrayed for 31 years. (Now I’m sorry, I really am. But you are talking aggressively to a 21 year old girl, just trying to help people out. Being hurt by others isn’t an excuses to be a horrible person).

I told him that I was trying to help him but then he decided to laugh and sarcastically say, “really by telling me be consistent lol that’s common sense.” (I’m sorry that you didn’t see my words as advice by maybe if you had handle things more gentlemanly then I could have offered more advice to you).

I told him that maybe the internet isn’t for you and he then replied with, “so what you’re saying is I spent 5 years at uni for nothing.” Now, Uni was never mentioned from me, only him. I really have no interest where people have been, only in if I can help now or not. In this case I really couldn’t help this person.

He continues on messages me saying that he was asking for my help, that he wanted advice and that telling him to be consistent isn’t advice, that telling him hes dumb and wasted 5 years of his life is not advice. Which I agree, telling him he’s dumb and wasted 5 years of his life is not advice…if it was something I actually told him… Again none of these words were said to him, these are words he is telling me he sees when reading my replies. Another reason as to why I really believe he shouldn’t be on the internet right now.

By that point I told him he was rude and disrespectful, and horrible to talk to, goodbye.

that I couldn’t help him and that I was going to block him. And so I blocked him. I then went to my twitter page to let others know who seek any advice or help from me that I am not here to be your personal dumping ground for your misplaced anger.

The man I had tried helping quickly jumped onto another account and all while he was trying to publicly paint me in a bad light, while he continued to through verbal abuse at me, he was also messaging me and trying to post abusive comments onto my blog.

THIS IS NOT OKAY BEHAVIOUR! And I will not stand for it and I will defend myself against it. I am here to help people. I am not here for you to let out your obsessive anger issues.

It took telling him that I would have to go to the police to get him to stop harassing me and have him say he was sorry and that he hoped that we could talk again some time this year. If you are reading this, I want to let you know now, I will not be taking any more messages from you. You had more than plenty of chance from me, I offered my help many times and you are just to aggressive to handle. I truly believe that you should NOT be on the internet right now and that you should continue your private help. I would also rethink being a blog for male mental health right now when no one feels comfortable enough to talk with you.


Guys, us mental health bloggers/advocates are human too. We are not trying to help because we have our lives together and are happy and content with ourselves and life. We do it because we know what it is like to be in your shoes, we do it because we know what it feels like to be in that much mental and emotional pain that we wouldn’t wish to see out worst enemies in that much pain (though 9 out of 10 times its usually ourselves that are our worst enemies).

We don’t do this so you can let your frustration and anger out on us. It’s certainly isn’t why I offer my help to everyone. We don’t do this so you have someone to blame and hate, we are doing this to try and help you to stop doing that to yourself. I am doing this so no one is as overruled an controlled by their mental health the same way I am.

I am human, I have my struggles (A lot of them) and I have full of many faults but I have never had anyone claim that I have intentionally hurt them. I was taught at a very young age that everyone needs help, and if no one is helping you then you help other people. I don’t reap what I sow, I have never enjoyed that saying, I accept and forgive the bad done to me and try an find ways to help others from ever feeling the way I feel a lot of the time.

Now one of my main problems in life is my sever anxiety, having someone attack me so… viciously like that, to go onto another account to verbally abuse me on my own page, to then use that account to also message me abusive messages at the same time, while also trying to do the same on MY blog.

You’ve put me in the position where I am never going to offer my help to you again and if you do contact me again in anyway then I will be getting the police involved, as that is very scary and unacceptable behaviour.

I accept your apologises and I truly hope you get the help you need and get better one day. But you have not gone about it right way and for that, there will be no further help or contact from me.

I know a lot of people what to see screen shots of his messages as I understand that something like that on twitter can be rather “exciting” for some, making you want to know more about the situation but I feel this post covers everything I wanted covered without releasing any of his personal information (nothing he wasn’t sharing last night- and other nights- so publicly on my page or his).

I really respect privacy and no matter the wrong he did with his words that does not warrant me to release the messages he sent to me in confidence. So I will not be sharing any screen shots of his messages/comments nor will I be talking more on this matter.

I understand that when becoming a mental health blogger/advocate that I would be open to such situations however I didn’t expect it so quickly and its not something we as people – as human beings with thoughts and feelings too – have to put up with. I want this to be where it belongs now, in the past and hopefully situations like this come very few and far.

With all that being said I hope that this doesn’t steer people away from seeking help online and I hope this doesn’t seer people from trying to help people online. It’s not a pleasant thing when something like this happens but as with all things you have to take the good with bad and push on through it.

So please if you are feeling as though you can’t or have no one to talk to then please don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health blogger/advocate as we are happy to help in anyway we can!

And if you would like to seek helps, advice or just a listen ear then please feel free to contact me at:

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Instagram – @Littletinkablee

Facebook – LittleTinkablee

Email – littletinkable@gmail.com

I want to thank everyone who too the time to contact me and message me and those who left those lovely and kind comments for me. You’ll never know how much appreciate your support and it really is people like you that help keep me going. So, from my very soul and the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

Bully Experience

Now if there is something in this world I can say without a shadow of a doubt I hate, it’s bullies. People who think and feel the need to tear down another person self-esteem and little world just to make themselves feel important and better than the other person.

People who think its okay to ruin the lives of others for your own person gain, not caring about the mental damage you are creating to that person. To the girls who think its “hard” and “cool” to walk around talking and acting like men , to the girls who feel the need to pick on all those pretty girls for having the right mindset and self-esteem built into them, to walk through their high school doors with no make up on or modification to their appearance. This is for the girls who feel its okay to pick on girls they feel haven’t done their make up right or expresses themselves differently and for the ones who think depression, suicide and self harm is a game or a cute little character trait.

This is for the boys who think its cool to hang around the younger kids, the ones who think its fine to corrupt them and make them think that being you is what they should aspire to be. This is to the boys who think its hard to beat a person, physically or mentally until they can no longer stand to see themselves in the mirror or even stand to be alive.

This if for the insecure bullies who try pointing and picking on people for having a flaw that you can’t stand about yourself, this is for the people who think its their life mission to make others around them feel as though they do. To make them feel small and unworthy to even live the life gifted to them.

You do not get anywhere by making yourself look “hard” or “cool”. Beating a person up just to look harder than the others is possibly one of dumbest things I have ever witnessed while growing up. To be that insecure about yourself that you need to put yourself out there so strongly as a person who shouldn’t be messed with? It just screams help. It screams to me that there are things going on that maybe you should be address properly and to a professional rather than taking your hurt/anger/pain out on others.

To obsess yourself over a person so much to make them hate themselves or want to kill themselves…that’s crazy behaviour, that is the type of thing that I would look for in a sociopath and to me that is all bullies are. Sociopaths.

It seems to me that bullies these days have managed to desensitise themselves from pretty much all emotions and thoughts regarding other people. The only time they feel what they think is a slither of happiness is when they’ve ruined someone else’s.

I used think of bullies as victims. Victims of circumstance and of bad upbringing or a lack of parenting on someone’s (or both) part. Now I’m really divided on the matter as I have come across bullies like that, who weren’t ever really shown what love, care or loyalty was so they express what they know which is what has always truly broken my heart about bullies. I know that they have been deeply wronged to have become so twisted, however I have also come across bullies who you wouldn’t think would be one, one’s with the opposite life from a hard upbringing.

In primary school I remember a particular bully I had to deal with. It was right after moving to Liverpool for the first time (so I was around 6-7 years old) and there was this little girl who was in all my classes and would follow me around on the school yard. She’d go out of her way to try and say nasty things to which I’d always respond with, “I’m telling my mam on you!” Before walking a way and finding others to play with. She didn’t particularly have any friends as she was always lashing out at people and the other kids were scared and intimidated by her.

One day she had come to school with a broken leg and wasn’t allowed outside during break times. Just as we were reaching our first break of the day, I had been approached by a teacher informing me that (Let’s call the girl Marie) Marie had requested that I be the person to stay with her during her breaks.

Now at first I didn’t know how to feel about that as I didn’t like being around the girl, she was a little horror at the time. But told the teacher that I would any way as I don’t do well with being asked things on the spot (Something I’m still working on). Anyway once the teacher left me to tell Marie the news I asked around the class room to see what the other kids thought and to see if maybe someone would take my place.

No one wanted to stay in during their break and no one really wanted to spend their break around the school bully and thus left me either telling the teacher I no longer wanted to or suck it up and follow through with my word.

I really don’t like breaking my word and so once I have agreed to something I like to follow through on it any way I can. I also had my mums voice in the back of my mind telling me not to judge people to harshly, that you never know what’s going on in their lives, plus I really couldn’t believe that she was acting like this for no reason at all. There had to be something making her want to lash out at people, a reason she was so angry all the time. The breaks were spent in silence as neither one of us knew what to say to each other. Eventually I got fed up of spending my breaks in awkward silence and decided to try and make conversation with her.

For a few month I done that, spending my breaks with the school bully, answering my friends question when they’d ask me what happened or what was it like spending all your breaks with Marie with “It’s not so bad.” We’d make small conversation and when the time came where she could have her cast removed the bullying had pretty much stopped (for me). I still spent some of time arguing with her when she was picking someone else when I was walking by but after that she pretty much left me alone and carried on about her business of being the school yard bully.

A good few years, 4-5 new houses and school later we ended up in the same high school. The girl had clearly not strayed from her bullying streak and even seemed to have gotten worse with it. One day we both had P.E together (one of the rare occasions that I would bring in my P.E kit) the teacher decided that we’d play football that day.

Marie seemed to be in a particularly bad mood and everyone was trying to keep a distance and not set her off. However she was started to really P*ss me off when she was kicking the ball as hard as she could at everyone. I started to do the same back to her which led to her saying an off had comment. I’d started walking towards her by this point and was asking what her problem was, Everyone had stopped trying (or should I say pretend as none of us other than a small few actually want) to play football and was watching us probably expecting a fight as that’s usually how confrontations went with Marie and just in general is how kids would deal with their confrontations as at that age everyone is to crazy-ed on their own hormones that they forget the fact they have a brain that could be used just as effectively.

However all we done was a bit of back and forth shouting at each other, I had eventually told her to go somewhere else to cool off because she was looking like a hot headed fool at the time and then the teacher came over. Me and Marie spoke a little after that, apologised and even became friends at one point before we both ended up going to different schools again and different directions again.

Through the time in trying to get to know her and befriend her I had come to learn that she had a really hard life back at home. Things were going on and had gone on that I couldn’t even imagine, things that would make me angry too.

After meeting her, it really made me take three steps back from people and view everyone as someone who has something going on. So when someone around me is angry or upset instead of responding with the same emotions as them as I’d like to or would have done, I step back and remember bad days happen and everyone has sh*t going on.

I’ve also come a cross a bully that hit anything in her path, no words needed or was said before she’d attack someone. This was coming from a girl who had a fairly normal up bringing, who pushed her family aside and decided that the street life suited her best.

Of course bullying doesn’t just happen with terrible words and painful jabs, it can be done by making people believe you are something you are not, they suck you in and make you believe that they are this sad person who just needs help, love and care. And so you give them that and you keep giving until you either have nothing left or they want the last thing you aren’t willing to give them. Bullying comes in all shapes and forms, physically, emotionally to mentally. I’ve had it all, I’ve been pushed past my limits and I’ve pushed through it all, as I will continue to do and show others they can too!

It’s when meeting people like that, that I question whether I am right to think all bullies are victims? Is it the internet? The fact we are so open to so much suffering and becoming desensitised too soon? It it the upbringing or is just something as simple as an evil personality? What makes bullies, become a bully. What makes them think they have the right to do something like that?

I’m sure we’ve all done and said things to someone that we regret, something that’s made us look like the bullies. But to dedicate day in and day out to do it, for years in or out of school? It’s just not normal, it’s not normal to obsess over the lives of others and attack someone just because you want what they have or you are jealous of them.

And to my siblings bullies, you can say hurtful words, you may even break them for a moment of your time but they are surrounded by loving and supportive people who won’t let the likes of low lives get to them the way you are trying to. The more bad days you try to give them the more good days we are determined to show them.

Bullies won’t break people. And it’s time they realised that, its time they realised that by trying to make someone a victim you are just making yourself look like a victim of bad personal circumstance

Please feel free to comment, share and like this post, don’t forget to subscribe to my email list and I hope you enjoyed reading. More than anything though I hope you can take something from my experiences and apply them to your day to day life whether that’s not to judge people (even those who hurt us), whether it’s to forgive those who hurt us or maybe this has made you realise that you have not been the best person you can be and it’s changed how you look at the bad. Either way I hope to see you all back again on my next post!

Name calling never bothered me anyway

This experience is told and was lived my Lauren. A bibliophile and owner of a book blog called ‘Readers Enjoy Authors Dreams‘. (click the name to be directed to her amazing blog!)

I used to get bullied because of the way that I looked, in the bullies opinion I had a big forehead and used to get called names like ‘five head’, ‘alien’ and ‘boom head’ the name calling was occasionally accompanied by a slap on the forehead.

This first started in year three I went to a private school and I used to cross paths with some of the older boys.

They used to call me ‘five head’ at the time I didn’t know what was going on so I shrugged it off and thought nothing of it.

My parents moved so I moved to a normal secondary school where the bullying became worse every day walking around from year seven to eleven I would get ‘forehead’, ‘boom head’ and ‘five head’ shouted at me on a daily basis even if I wasn’t in school.

I will admit at the beginning of year nine it made me feel so ugly and so annoyed that I was different from everybody else because of the way I looked slightly different.

I remember one day in year eleven I was sat talking to a friend about being bullied and I realised that I had been called the same names over and over again most of my academic life and

I laughed at the fact that they couldn’t think of anything new to say.

Name calling is something I’ve never understood. What exactly are you getting out of it? Other than letting us know how small your vocabulary is… It’s great to know that those name calling school kids never got you down for long, its amazing that you were able to let those comments bounce off you like they are nothing, because that’s what they are nothing. Words made to make you feel bad because they feel bad or unhappy with themselves.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Lauren and if anyone would like to read it in full CLICK HERE to be directed the full post on Lauren’s blog.

And if you would like to take part and share your experience and show others that bullies never win in life (whether that’s cyber bullies or bullies in real life) then please feel free to email me at: Littletinkable@gmail.com and don’t forget to add a short Bio, any pictures and social links you’d like me to add. Or you can do this completely anonymous.

Foe under cover – when friends turn

Freshman Year of High School

 My name is Karalee, and I am 25 years old. I am from Texas, but I currently live in Denmark. I have a three-year-old daughter, and my blog Tales of Belle focuses on beauty, books, and lifestyle.

    At the start of my freshman year of high school, I ate lunch with a group of friends who I have known since junior high. We were in the same class during the lunch break therefore it made sense to eat lunch together. However, things quickly changed. Every day during lunch, my friends would tell me I am fat and make fun of me while I was eating my lunch. I tried to laugh it off because how could my friends be so mean to me? As the days went on, my friends continued to bring my self-esteem down,

I ended up feeling horrible about myself, but I tried to stick around hoping that my friends would go back to the way they used to be. They did not.

   One day I decided I had enough of my friends bringing me down.

I realised that if they were my real friends, they would not constantly call me fat.

During that lunch break, instead of sitting with my normal friends, I went up to another one of my friends in my class and asked him if I could eat lunch with him. He did not mind, and for the first time since starting high school I felt accepted.

Instead of him making fun of me, we talked about normal friend things.

For the rest of the school year, I ate lunch with him instead of my “fake friends”.

   However, things did not stop there. My ex-friends noticed I was no longer eating lunch with them, and when they would try to talk to me, I ignored them because I decided for my self-esteem it would be best to not socialise with people who constantly brought me down. Shortly after I had started eating lunch with my guy friend, my ex-friends started a rumour about me. They decided to tell our mutual friends that I was pregnant and my guy friend was the father.

I was in shock. Not only did my ex-friends bring my self-esteem down to rock bottom, but they started a rumour that was the furthest from the truth.

I was a virgin at the time and me and my guy friend were just friends. Luckily, our mutual friends realised the truth, and the rumour died quickly.

   Even though I went through a horrible experience in high school, I was able to realise who my real friends were, and I remained friends with them for the rest of high school while I distanced myself from ex-friends. Without my real friends including my guy friend who I ate lunch with during my freshman year, I would probably have a difficult time moving on from the experience of being bullied. It did take me the rest of high school to feel confident in myself again,

but my friends were constantly there to bring me up, and by the time I started college I could finally say I love myself.

Kids really can be horrible one another at times, especially when jealous hits them. I think this experience can who others just how deceiving people can be and I have met first hand some people who may have came across as lovely or nice and then turned out the be more than the exact opposite.

I’m so glad that you’re guy friend could help through such a difficult time, even while he was thrown into their silly little games, some people cower from that sort of thing and when a person can stand tall for both you through it… I think it’s safe to say that’s a true friend right there. I also think its wonderful that you had friends that didn’t scum to your ex-friends silly ways.

You’re experience and the way you handle it reminds me of quote about strength and courage;

A truly strong person does not need the approval of other’s anymore than a lion needs the approval of sheep.

Vernon Howard

Because it takes a lot of strength and courage to estrange yourself from people you once thought of as friends and to stick your ground when they get so cruel, you should be proud of the girl you was back then as she has helped you transform into the woman you are today.

Click here, if you would like to check out Karalee’s beautiful blog @Talesofbelle and read her latest blog post, ‘The Haunting Of Hill House Book Review.’

I would like to thank Karalee and everyone else who has so far taken part in the ‘My Bully Experience.’ If you would like to get involved or take part in some way (you can be completely anonymous in sharing your story if you aren’t comfortable with sharing who you are while sharing these experiences) You can send me an email with a short Bio (or not) any links to blogs/pages/social media’s , any pictures and of course you’re experience with either online/real life bulling, trolling or stalking.

If you’d like to read more ‘my bully experience’ stories then you ‘ click here ‘ and read the other brave yet inspiring stories written by amazing people who have overcome such terrible treatment off other’s.

School Bullies.

  
So hey! My name is Madara. I’m a blogger from Latvia. I’m 16 years old and I’m here to tell you my experience with bullies and bullying.

My bullying experience started in first grade…Harsh, I know. As I am different from most Latvians I got bullied a lot. My skin color is a bit darker than an average Latvian. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I look a bit like someone who comes from Asia and that is because my dad’s dad is from Kazakhstan.

  People used to say that I’m Chinese. They called me a chineezer. It didn’t offend me because I was raised with an idea that we are all human beings no matter what is your skin color, religion,  sexuality, nationality etc. At that age I didn’t understand why would they think I’m Chinese. Of course later on I realised that I look a bit like an Asian person. They would make all these jokes about me. Yes, there were times when I cried about it. But now I know that they were just not educated enough to know the difference form a Chinese person, Korean person or any other person form Asia.

  Later on I changed schools and started playing piano at a professional music school in Riga. But to get in I would have to go to first grade again, because my piano skills weren’t enough to get in second grade. So I went to first grade twice.

People still make fun about that but I don’t really care, because I went to that school I am now studying with basically straight A’s.

   Yes, I was bullied in that school. Again with the Chinese stuff among a lot of other. There were times when boys would lift my skirt up or try to pull it down in front of a lot of people. That made me feel really uncomfortable. There were times when my classmates would throw my stuff around the class.

They did a lot of mean things.

And I always told my parents about them.

  I am lucky to have such understanding and protective parents.

They always called the teacher and got the situation all sorted out. There were times when my classmates ended up in the principal’s office. Looking back at it now, they were just kids who were insecure about themselves so they took it out on me.

  After fourth grade I decided I didn’t want to play the piano anymore so I left that school and went back to my old school. I mean of course I wasn’t in my last class. Of course I got new classmates because I was a grade lower then all my ex classmates. In fifth class…That’s when the real hell started. I was and always have studied very, very good. But I never thought that people would think that was bad or that I’m cheating.

At that age I was also pretty tall. I’m still pretty tall, but that is because my whole family is, so there wasn’t really an option for me to be short. People in that school were short. There were only a couple of people that were taller than everyone else. I was one of them. So of course people thought it would be fun to make jokes about it and bully me with it. I was constantly called giraffe. I honestly don’t remember a day when I would walk through school and the line “OH LOOK! The tall one is coming!”

would not have been heard. At that time I was insecure about it, but in time I started embracing it.

If anyone would ask me how the weather up there is I would tell them that it is sunny and warm unlike it is down there for them. That was one of my most popular comeback to when people were making fun of me. I was also really thin…But again…it’s in my DNA. So I would also be called anorexic.

   People also called me a nerd because I was a straight A student.

They would throw my stuff around school. They started making fun about me on “Instagram” when I was in 7th grade. They would constantly put me on class group chat and then kick me out.

They would make memes from my pictures. They would film me and take pictures when they are not allowed to.

   Also I started training in  Volleyball in 7th grade and I progressed really fast.

Girls would try to hide my clothes in the showers after sports class. They would put my backpack in the garbage bin. They would tell rumours about me all the time. These were just some of the things that happened.

I did tell my parents, I did go to my class head teacher. You want to know my experience with the school system and bullying?

  THEY DON’T CARE! I literally had a blue eye once because a girl hit me. What did the school do? They sent us to talk to the social teacher. Then we went to the principle. We talked…Like a lot.

WE were supposed to go start talking to the psychologist. But I guess karma did the work on her. At the time when we were supposed to have a meeting with the psychologist she was taken to the hospital. I don’t quite know what was wrong with her though. When she got back we started having these meetings. Did they help? NO! She kept saying that she didn’t hit me even though that was seen by like 12 people. So no progress happened. After they realised that it was not working they took us both to the principle. WE had a long and exhausting talk there. After that she finally calmed down.

    I left that school and got into a sports gymnasium in 8th grade.

My ex classmates made fun about me online, but I’m guessing that is because they were jealous and couldn’t get a life on their own. 

MY last class, my gymnasium class was fantastic. NO arguments happened there.

But I’m guessing that’s because everyone was too busy doing sports and improving and they didn’t have time for that.

   Flash forward to now… I’m in an online school and I love it. I have more time to blog and improve my other skills. I don’t do sports anymore because of an injury.

Does that mean that they stopped bullying me? No. The classmates I had from 5th to 7th grade still try to tear me down. Does it work? No. Because I know that I’m not what they are saying that I am. I know my worth. I work hard to get where I am. I work hard to be who I am and I’m not going to stop because a group of people think I should fail. Some of them even still follow me on social media… I guess they are really obsessed with my life.

  What have I learned? Bullies bully you for one of few reasons…1) they are jealous. 2) They know they can’t be you. 3) You have something or you are do something that they can’t. Does that give them the right to bully you? NO! Does that give them the right to try and kill you with words? NO!

But you have to understand that you are not what they are calling you. You don’t need to prove them anything. You just got to do you and keep on going. Do what you love, show what you are doing to the world, and don’t forget to smile. Trust me. Your enemies hate that.

   So do you! And don’t be ashamed of who you are. Embrace who you are!

It’s such a terrible experience what you’ve gone through but I think everyone can agree that just your amazing and positive attitude. )I also played a little piano when I was in high school and really enjoyed…for a time ). And it just goes to show just what jealousy can do to people, even young children, especially young children. . With the internet at their hands they don’t even realise the terrible obsessions they are bringing to themselves, such as ‘internet stalking’ someone for years, I too have had my fare share of ‘internet stalkers’ and I can say that it never amazes me the amount of free times they’ll make just to check out one of my social medias, or blog posts.

I love your last message at the end! And I find it so amazing that you’ve managed to over come such disgusting treatment. I wish you well with your online course! If you would like to check out any of Madara social pages then click on one of the links below and don’t for get to check out her blog!

Blog – Home page : https://jancenkomadara.wixsite.com/website

Madara’s – Instagram page

Madara’s Twitter – @MJancenko

Madara’s – youtube channel

Can teachers be bullies?

I’m having a tough time with my child’s teacher. It went from her telling us that she prefers the girls over the boys (I have a boy) at our conference in December, to her questioning me about why I didn’t bring him to the holiday concert after school because she knows we went to the movies that night. I told her we had already bought the tickets and that he choose to go to the movies that night because he didn’t want to go to the holiday concert. Then I walked away and got angry… Is she questioning my parenting? And if so, then maybe it’s time I start questioning her teaching. What I do with my children after school hours is none of her damn business. Her job is to teach my child in a safe environment and currently he is having anxiety just going to school because he feels like he is constantly being targeted by her and getting in trouble. Why is that?

One day she took his chap stick away because he got up to go get it without asking.

He raised his hand and she wouldn’t call on him. Which has happened before.

He needs his chap stick right now, he has a very dry irritation under his lip (which is clearly visible) and he needs the chap stick to sooth and protect it.

She should not have taken it away.

Yesterday she wouldn’t let him go to the nurse when he asked because he had a headache. They were going to recess and it’s weirdly warm and springy that day so,

he was trying to tell her that the humidity would make his headache worse but she yelled at him to get his jacket and go outside.

So, he cried and she said that she was finished talking to him and walked away. When I picked him up he was pale.

When we got home, he skipped dinner and went to bed and slept for 12 hours straight. He clearly did not feel well.

His teacher has also made comments about his hair being to long, and his winter jacket being to big. If she has an issue with the appearance of my child, she needs to tell me so I can tell her where to shove it, not say it to my child in front of the rest of the class.

We emailed the Principal and the Vice principle and we had a meeting. The principal was clearly upset with the way the teacher was with my son.

Even though my husband had already spoke to the vice principal about what was going on, the principal seemed to have no idea. She asked for 2 weeks to try to mediate the situation and see if she could make my son feel better about going to class.

The vice principal took it upon himself to call my son and the teacher out of class and gave the teacher a signal to do when she needed his attention, she would call him and tap her shoulder. One time is a warning, two times he’s in trouble and the third time he gets sent to the principal’s office. This didn’t sit well with my husband and I and we immediately sent off an email informing them that our son doesn’t have a “signal” to get the teachers attention and she routinely ignores him when he raises his hand,

and what they are creating was a form of entrapment,

which we are not cool with.

The principal looked into it and said that our son wasn’t getting in trouble, he was getting a chance to calm down. That still makes no sense. He’s upset because he needs to go to the bathroom and he’s raised his had for 20 minutes and the teacher isn’t calling on him. It’s not till he has to call out her name and then she will answer him.

The thing is, our kid is doing really well socially this year, in his class. Last year we had a student who was a bully picking on him when no one was looking. Even in that situation, they failed to do anything other then promise that this year he wouldn’t be in the same class as that child. Now, the kids are fine but the teacher is terrible.

Just last week my son had to cry to get sent to the nurse’s office again and it turned out that he actually had an ear infection.

I will be bringing this up at out parent teacher year end meeting this Thursday, which the principal will be in on.

There was also an issue with a little girl in school who told my son that the world would be better off without him and he agreed with her. She ended up telling the social worker and the social worker spoke to him. She called me and said that she did a risk assessment and he doesn’t have any plans or anything, he just said it.

I expected to have him tell me he didn’t mean it when I picked him up from school that day but he actually said that he was feeling so sad that day with everything going on with his teacher, and then the girl was being mean to him too, so he actually did feel like the world would be better off without him.

We had a huge heart to heart that night and I asked him if he wanted to find someone to talk to, he said yes.

We’re currently waiting for a therapist, we’ve already done all the intake stuff we’re just waiting on his first appointment. I think it will help him to have someone else to speak to and they might have better ways of dealing with these situations that they can teach him and my husband and I.

As of right now, my son seems to be better about going to school. There are 2.5 months left and I think he’ll be fine staying in this witch’s class. Every thing I hear now though goes straight to the principal. I need the paper trail because I assume, they are trying to create their own as well.

Can teachers be bullies? And then what do you do?

I will be updating this story on my blog.

My name is Jessica. My husband and I have a 9-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter. We are currently figuring out this whole parenting thing. I am currently working on my dream of being an author since the kids are getting older and I now have a little bit more free time. If you would like to support me, that would be awesome! I have a few books published on Amazon.

Wow. What can I say to that? Other than I personally do believe teachers can be bullies, I have come across a few teachers that have bullies through my years of moving schools (completely different reasons- my mum moved house a lot when I was younger). However the fact that they exists doesn’t excuse the fact that they should, teachers should be in more control of themselves when around children and if they can’t be then they shouldn’t be there. The fact that this teacher has brought a child into feeling that way is disgraceful and yet unfortunately none surprising as, as I said I have come across a few…bad teachers and so have my siblings.

I feel teachers need to be looked into more, schools need to change their ways. For they have gone from caring about their students, saftey, well being and education. Now it’s all numbers and figures. The system is broken and someone needs to step in and fix it. Other we are left with questions likes, ‘can teachers be bullies?’ -LittleTinkablee

Having Children and some things they don’t tell you – A few of my experiences from birth through kindergarten

Growing – Some rough stories from my life.

Kissing all the Frogs – My love story

Working My Way Through Life – Basically every job I have ever had and how it led me to the next.

I also have a blog: Please check it out and like and follow 😊 I post Monday through Friday (not holidays).

https://sambelstories.com/

Accepting your sexuality can be hard.

Hannah, 13-14 years old

“Hannah is a 20 something year old blogger from Essex, England, who lives by the sea with her partner and Giant African Millipede. Her blog Pages, Places, & Plates focuses on reviews of a few of her different passions – books, eateries, British experiences, and international travel.”

As a child I was aware of how prevalent bullying is within school, which was one reason why I chose to go to the secondary school that I did, which is a girls-only grammar school in Essex. You have to pass a test to get in and I did – I was ecstatic as I knew I was going to enjoy school and it was going to be safe from the boys in my class that had mocked me previously. No more being laughed at because I wanted to do well in school; no more cruel words because my grades were more important than getting in trouble. As much as I loved school it turned out I wasn’t as safe as I thought.

Let’s go back to 2013 – I’d just started Year 9 (so I was around 13-14)

and things seemed to be going pretty well.

I had a tight-knit group of friends, I was doing well in my subjects, and my family was loving and supportive.

I was hurting inside though, struggling to come to grips with who I really was as a person. I was different because I was bisexual, and it was killing me.

I’d told my closest friends about it and they’d been so supportive (apart from one finding it a bit gross but hey, she was 13 – I forgive her as she still looked out for me), but the thought of everyone else knowing was all too much.

I thought I’d be a disappointment to my family, and that I’d be shunned by my class

considering it only consisted of girls.

Self-harm had become the norm for me and my thoughts could turn quite dark at times, but I did whatever I could to deal with it on my own.

One of my friends was going through the exact same thing but it still didn’t ease me – she was a tomboy in a mixed sex school who was much better at dealing with things than I was – I was fragile and I doubt anyone would have been able to guess. I’d been keeping it well-guarded though, and my plan was pretty much to completely ignore my sexuality and hope that I’d continue to be accepted.

One friend had been particularly supportive

But after a while started to seem a bit odd. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I suddenly received a message from her on MSN one evening. To this day I don’t think my heart has ever stopped so suddenly. I remember the noise of the TV in the background fade out and everything seemed to blur except for that message flashing on my screen:

“I’m going to tell everyone you’re bi tonight”.

As I processed it my heart began to beat so fast I couldn’t control it, and I was doing everything I could to hide my emotional distress from my parents, sat just behind me on the other side of the living room.

I started to sweat, I wanted to throw up, and my fingers shook so violently I could barely type.

I asked her why she was doing it and she said something along the lines of

“I can’t keep it a secret anymore… I have to tell everyone to release it from myself.”

And she did, that very night. She messaged everyone in the class on MSN and revealed to them the secret so huge for me that I’d hidden it deep inside me, praying that no one would ever find out. Such an overbearing and consequential concept for me was trivial to her; she spread it casually over instant message like she would a simple greeting.

Not only did she release my deepest fears to the world but also sent out a poll with it, asking whether those in recipient of the message would now still want to be friends with me.

My best friend did everything she could to support me once the message had gone out but it was still a lot to process.

I didn’t get much sleep that night, and my arms suffered for my worry.

The next morning was the worst of my life… I remember walking to the bus stop so slowly, feeling like I was heading towards my fate. A fate I didn’t want. In my head everything was ruined – there was no way school would be the same, and my family would most likely hate me. I might as well not bother living at all… What’s the point when it’s all ending anyway?

My friend at the bus stop didn’t acknowledge the messages and was nice to me as usual

Albeit slightly quieter. I was feeling nauseous and dizzy on the bus, but there was no one else from my class there so I didn’t have to worry about their judgement. All I could think about was walking into that door and facing my classmates, ready to disregard me. Would they be angry at me? Disgusted? Or would they simply pretend I wasn’t there?

I nearly didn’t find out, as I was so close to just running away.

But I couldn’t, because I knew then I’d have to explain to my parents why I’d failed to turn up to school. I walked in behind my friend, sat down in my usual seat with as little fuss as usual… And no one jumped on me.

No one shouted at me. And no one looked at me like I was a freak.

Instead, I got words of comfort from my class.

Their anger and disgust wasn’t directed towards me but to my ‘friend’ – they couldn’t believe she’d betrayed me like that.

Classmates I’d barely even spoken to before due to their class and popularity difference were acknowledging me as a person and I was lost for words – I just couldn’t understand why they were supporting me, the one with the filthy secret.

Even those that I knew 100% would be uncomfortable with my sexuality due to their religion and other reasons condemned her, and I was thankful for that.

Interestingly, the ‘friend’ took a couple of days off school ill as she’d realised her mistake once the results of her poll came back. She faced her mistake later with me, but our friendship was never the same and it took her a long time to be accepted properly within the class again. The incident was without a doubt the worst I faced during my teenage years and I’d been so close to doing something stupid to avoid what happened next.

I think back to the harm I’d inflicted on myself and the suicidal thoughts I’d had that night, and how there could have been such a loss if I hadn’t listened to my friends and faced my fears…

My journey could have ended due to something that turned out much smaller than I thought it was.

I’m not the bravest person on the planet (far from it, in fact) but I’m glad I was brave that day as it taught me two things – support is always out there, even if it’s not in the way you’d expected, and facing the hurdles in life will eventually make you stronger as a person.

This is only one instance of bullying and most likely widely different from some other stories out there as each experience is individual, but for those experiencing bullying I want them to know one thing in particular.

Even though you don’t feel like you can get through it you can – you just have to move forward and accept the support that’s there.

It may take time and there may be pain and misery involved but just know that once it’s over (which it will be) you’ll be so glad you saw it through to the end.

This is Hannah Today

What wise words at the end! Thank so much, Hannah for you’re bravery in sharing your story with us today. And it goes to show that even those you assume or judge to be… well judge-y, can turn out to be you’re greatest supporters and those who seem like friend, could just be a jealous enemy in disguise.

This is truly an inspiring story and I feel this can help a lot of others who are feeling the same or experiencing similar problems with facing who they are, as a person and sexually. There is nothing wrong with who you are and who you like and it should be something that everyone can openly tell people around them without it being a problem. Our sexuality should be as common as buying something online, you shouldn’t feel fear and it shouldn’t be a constant dreaded though should someone find out. And I hope one day soon that is where we will be at but until then we will continue to share our stories and help one another through the only way we know how, by experience, words and positive vibes.

Blog: PagesPlacePlate- Home Page

Twitter: @Pagesplacesplate

Instagram: www.instagram.com/pages.places.plates

Pinterest: Pages, Places & plates – pin board

The Different Shades Of Bullying

We all are aware of what bullying entails and how it can have an impact on our lives, in more ways then one. I would like to share with you my experiences of being bullied 

On my first day of being in Year 7 I looked around the assembly hall to see all the other students. I was terrified. I didn’t know how to make new friends. I was extremely shy. Over the next few months, it quickly became apparent that other students resorted in placing others in certain “groups”. The first sign of stigma.  

I was classed as a “boffin” (Smart Alec). I got picked on because I kept my head down and studied. I was even bullied into doing other students homework.

Peer pressure and the fear of more bullying. This has caused me to always feel guilty if I were to say ‘No’ and I would fear the consequences if I were to reject something.

I was a chubby teenager therefore I was an easy target. “Earthquake” a boy shouted at me. I have been called a lot worse but due to the nature of the language that they used, I cannot state these.

This eventually led me to be anorexic and suicidal.

I was constantly receiving messages on social media or by mobile phone, I only gave my mobile number out to those I thought I trusted.

“Go slit your wrists” or “Go die”. They got what they were aiming for, I did try and self-harm. 

This still makes me feel sick to my stomach. I thought I knew who my friends were, I look back in horror at how naive I was. I was chatting away, to a boy whom I thought was a good friend, on MSN messenger. The next four words almost made me vomit. “Show me your breasts” – I will not state the exact term he used.   The next day at school was horrendous, I lost count how many people approached me and asked “Is it true that (his name) asked you to do that?” 

This left me stunned into silence as I had only reported what had happened to a teacher. I was unaware if this boy had spread it around class about what he asked me to do. I didn’t respond to his question, I blocked every method possible so that it would prevent him from contacting me. Eventually, things started to settle down, I thought that things couldn’t possibly get any worse. How wrong I was. 

It was lunchtime, I had just finished my lunch and went to find a quiet spot on the field, like I always did. The students, who I did get along with, were walking towards me, I smiled and waved however they ignored me and carried on walking past me. I know I should have been used to this type of behaviour from others by now. I kept experiencing a sharp pain throughout my back, I had not had P.E. that day so I was confused. Then I realised. 

I could hear the students behind me, laughing. They were throwing sharp-ended twigs at my back, with enough force to cause a horrendous amount of pain.

I put my head down and sobbed.

I didn’t know what to do as these students were the only ones who I got along with, before this happened. Do I report them? Or do I not?

Again, with the fear of more bullying, I chose against reporting them. 

I had enough of being treated this way, I left school. Teachers tried to encourage me to return however I did not feel safe there anymore. I never saw them again. After a year and a half, I did start at a new school in a different county.

I completed secondary school with 9 GCSEs. I was lucky to gain a true friend from my new school and we are still best friends to this day, she is amazing and I love her to pieces! 

Bullying does not just happen in school, it can happen at work, at home, online or even on the street. Verbally, mentally, socially, emotionally and sexually. Bullying needs to stop. Full stop.

I couldn’t agree more with your last statement. Bullying can happen anywhere and it does, every single day to so many people children and adults are subjected to some kind of form of bullying and harassment.

Bullies in high school have a special kind of meanness to them, their bitter and full of self loathing and selfish thoughts. No one thinks about anyone else during those times, it’s all about survival. It’s such a shame to think kids would be walking into a much safer environment if only they understood just how little the make-up, clothing, materialistic and unique differences actually meant.

If damaged kids had better help in directing their emotions and anger, I think this world would breathe a breath of relief and peace.

If you were inspired by anyway, by Ami’s story then please feel free to check her out using the following links she’s provided below. Maybe you have some message of support you’d like to send over? Or maybe her story has help ease some of the pain and worry you have been experiencing with bulling.

My blog: Home Page

My FB page: Ami’s Blog – UndercoverSuperhero

My Twitter: @Ami_T1995

Thank all so much for reading Ami’s story and I hope you all come by next week to read another inspiring story of over coming bullies and the mental/emotional scars it gives.