Wait, It’s July? You must be Julying!

Where did June go? I swear I blinked and it’s July!

1st July - 2019- planning - blogger - lifestyle blogger - mental health blogger - book blogger - writer - planner - cereal - monday - monday morning - photography - photography enthusiast
1st July 2019

When a new month hits, so do new goals. Over the past couple of months, really, my mental health has been winning the upper hand but I’m still continuing to fight back with any means necessary. While it has been succeeding in pulling me down again, I’ve really become less engaging and I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected from everything to be honest. From my blog, social media, my life…everything.

And I don’t have much hopes at the moment that my feelings are going to change as July is going to become a incredibly difficult month for my family as both my mum and little sister have operations this month, my sister’s a little more extreme than my mums. A lot of my effort will be going to helping care for my family.

However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t spent all of June preparing and getting ready to throw some exciting things your way! Such as the following below:

  • My ‘LittleTinkablee Anxiety” Candles will be ready for Purchase on 20th July.
  • I have some homemade bookmarks that will be available for purchase on 30th July.
  • I have SO many book reviews coming your way.
  • I have a Hair clip review to share with you all.
  • Yoga posts!
  • I have a new post coming up all to do with jars!
  • I have a new post about cats coming your way.
  • I’ll be doing my ‘Lets Talk Pets’ Series every Friday’s and Thursday’s (Email me at Littletinkable@gmail.com if you would like to share your pet story)
  • I have a harry potter AND an all bookish Giveaway announcement on 4th July
  • I’ll be starting my “My bully experience” again, every Thursday (Email me if you’d like to participate!)
  • More mental health related posts
  • And of course the spur of the moment/ a few little rambling posts.

Besides doing a whole lot of planning, June wasn’t that bad of a month really. My little sister turn the big Sweet Sixteen! How the time flies! I still remember waking up early on her second birthday to run down stairs and give her my special/favourite sparkly blue teddy (Even then I had a feel she would be drawn sparkly things!) that was given to me by my older sister when she was 14 maybe 15 years old.

Just before her 16th birthday me and my other younger sister decide to take her out somewhere special, my sister LOVES anything to do with Pusheen, how could she not? It’s (in her words) a cute “Derpy” cat. And so when my sister found out that Pusheen was doing a Live tour and coming to Liverpool…Well it’s safe to say that we were able to pack down our anxiety and other problems so we could take our sister out and enjoy the day, you can read all about it here: Pusheen On Tour.

We also ate some Dr Pepper Candy Floss!

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Dr Pepper Candy Floss

Also my heart, the love of my life and my forever person turned 22 this year and now I’m only a month behind him, how crazy is that?! Years seems to be flying by lately and it’s really got me thinking about a lot of things. I wrote him a birthday message on my blog as a way for not only me but for my blog to wish him a BIG happy birthday. “A Happy Birthday Message To My Love.”

Heavenward - Hallow
Heavenward – Hallow

My, Hallow book arrived! And has made me even more excited to see my books by the amazingly talented Olga Gibbs. You can read my review of Olga Gibbs first book in ‘The Celestial Creatures’ series, Heavenward (which is currently free to purchase your e-copy). You can also check out my review of the second book Hallow and my review with the enchanting author herself! – An Interview with Olga Gibbs.

June Yoga Challenge
June Yoga Challenge

I also completed a 30 Day Yoga June challenge along with @Autisticfitchic and @Pagesplacesplates and @nyxiesnook who are three incredibly passonate -not to mention extraordinary- bloggers who too enjoy the benefits that yoga provides and I’m excited to be doing another challenge along side @Autisticfitchic and @Pagesplacesplates.

Yoga
Yoga

After being nominated 6 times for the 73 Vogue Question tag (which will be up later today) I have found out thanks to Pottermore I have been placed into the HufflePuff housing! So I guess I’m a fellow Hufflepuff for all those who ask ­čśÇ .

I wrote a post on anxiety and the effect that it can have on our memory which you can check out here: Anxiety and Memory Loss.

I’ve done a guest post on Beforewegoblog.com called “Bookish Confessions.”

Emily Priest – Nicotine and Napalm

I also read and reviewed Emily’s enthralling and extraordinary compile of poems transformed into a beautiful and captivating book. You can check out my review and how to get your hands on your own copy of Emily’s amazing book, ‘Nicotine and Napalm.’

A sneak peak of one of Emily's poems from her book Nicotine and Napalm
A sneak peak of one of Emily’s poems from her book Nicotine and Napalm

I did my first ever Giveaway! One of a four part giveaway – (three more are coming your way).

Me and my boyfriend jogged half a mile and up a hill to capture and watch the first Summer Solstice sunset, the first sunset of summer! We brought Toby with us and all enjoyed a magical moment as the sky changed before our very eyes.

I have also done a tea syrup review for Yandra who not only bring to us all natural and lovely tasting tea but have now come out with a new syrup called ‘ Rose Simple’ Syrup. Check out my review HERE.

Yandra's Rose Simple Syrup
Yandra’s Rose Simple Syrup

Me and my boyfriend also rescued a baby hedgehog on the 19th June, it was so adorable! I now want a hedgehog. The poor thing was frozen in fear! So my boyfriend very carefully picked him/her up and we took it to a local park where we had spotted other hedgehogs and where there were wooded areas for it to hid in. We ended up nick naming him Sonic out of irony because of how slow he was, it took him a whole 10 minutes to walk off my boyfriend jacket and back onto solid land. Despite being scared at first, he very quickly got used to used to use and even poked his head out and starting sniffing us!

I bought two incredibly wonderful Lush Bath bombs (the dragon egg was by far my favourite smell!) One was so beautifully scented I have decided to live and die in that smell, my other bath bomb was just too pretty and glittery for words.

I also dyed my hair again! It’s still purple but now I have pink blended into the tips and it’s now kick started my addiction/obsession for dying my hair.

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A throwback selfie of me before I re-dyed my faded hair
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New hair

Despite all the challenges and struggles that July has to bring I am determined to make the most of this month. If you are struggling please, don’t be afraid to reach out to me, ALL conversations are confidential and non judgemental. If you aren’t looking for a conversation but rather just a listen ear, I con provide that for you too.

You can contact me here:

Facebook – LittleTinkablee

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Email – @Littletinkable@gmail.com

Pinterest – Littletinkablee

Instagram – @Littletinkablee

I hope you all have a great Monday and have an exceptional July a head of you!

A Happy Birthday Message to my love

This isn’t your typical/ usual post for me. This is message, a love poem, a love song, or whatever you want to call, for a soul so great it sweep mine off it’s feet.

Today is a special day, it’s the day my boyfriend grows a year older. Today is a day for celebrating life, more importantly celebrating such a wonderful soul. I’ll soon be joining you in the world of 22 in a month time!

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Dan at his sister’s wedding

Firstly, I’ll start this post off by saying a BIG, Happy Birthday to the love of my life, Dan.

I know you all may be wondering why I am not just wishing him a happy birthday in person, I am and will do so later. But writing a typical blog post today didn’t feel right, especially since this blog wouldn’t have even happened if it wasn’t for his help. So it only felt right, that my blog too wished him the biggest of happy birthdays!

He has helped me in more ways than I ever could explain, he has pushed me, motivated and driven me to want to be a better me, all while protecting me and caring for me when I’ve needed it. He’s be my biggest silent supporter and without his support I don’t think my blog would have ever came to be.

Meeting such a strong soul such as my Dan has entirely changed my life, I feel as though upon meeting him I had been opened up to a whole knew world. At first he was mysterious and exciting but then quickly became my safe zone, my cornerstone, my heart and home wrapped up in a human package.

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Me and my Dan a few years ago (possibly my favourite picture of us)

He’s has shown me a love so deep I could never go back to the love I once thought I knew as love. I never would have dreamt that I would find you so early on in life and although it hasn’t always been perfect, I wouldn’t want to change a moment that we have spent together. The good, the bad and the ugly, I’ll take it all as long I have this magnificent soul by my side through it all.

When you are in such a long and committed relationship we can let slip the things that made us first drawn to our partners. The little things we use to notice can sometime become things that then annoy us, the more time we spend with that special someone the more we forget that we are spending time with a special someone and we can let the small silly things come between our relationship at times.

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Me and Dan when we were 17

We can forget to capture the a moment in our memories for a later date, we forget to laugh a joke, we forget to humour our partner and we can forget to smile, laugh, play, and enjoy the company we have.

Every new year with this amazing soul is always a new adventure for me and I can’t wait to see the many more adventures the future has in store for us. I count myself lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend, I love growing with him and learning new things, everything is always excited even on the slow and boring days.

And no one has shown me the care and love that he does. So, if you ever read this post Dan, just know you have me. Heart, body and soul. And I can’t wait to share another birthday and along with many more season/holidays/special occasions with you.

I’m a writer. I’ve lived and breathed words my entire life and yet I have never come across a word or sentence that describe the love, appreciation and adoration I have for this amazing man but I’ll be happy to spend the rest of outlives making sure he knows just how deeply I love him, on the good days and bad. I wouldn’t change a moment with him.

You can find out more about our little adventures and daily life by following my Instagram – @Littletinkablee

Pusheen on Tour – Liverpool – Worlds Apart

I just want to say before we get into today’s new post that I know that I have been a little absent lately and I do apologise for that, but I’m back with new content, a new giveaway on the way and a exciting announcement on the way! I would also like to thank you all for your patience and your support but more importantly I want to thank the people amazing people who have helped and continued supporting me from the very start and still continue to do so now. I have a special post coming up soon dedicated to those few amazing people.


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Pusheen on Tour, Worlds Apart, 15th June 2019

On 15th June 2019 me and my younger sister Courtney took our other much younger sister – Cait – out to town for one of her early 16th birthday gifts. Our little sister is OBSESSED with anything related to pusheen and when my sister came across the ‘Pusheen on Tour’ and had seen they were making their way to Liverpool she contacted me and asked if it was something I wanted to take our little sister too.

My sister is aware of how bad my anxiety is (as she suffers – but handles it more like a warrior than I do – with anxiety too) and knows that I need time in advance to work myself up to leaving the house and going out somewhere so public and busy with people.

Going to this Pusheen tour even was a little push for all of us but I would have to say it was more of a push for our younger sister as she suffers from Autism and Asperger on a high scale, being around so many people and so far from home, so far from our mum is always a massive challenge for her.

Whats more is that Courtney wanted it to be surprise for our sister (our sister is great with surprises…unless it involves going somewhere, then she likes to know exactly where she is going, what it looks like, how long it will take to get there, what transport she would have be on…like me she needs to know EVERYTHING) Which I was a little unsure about but went along with anyway because I know how much she loved Pusheen and the distraction of the event may help in lessening her worry about being somewhere.

Eventually though we did have to shed a little light on her surprise and warn her that we would be out and about for this, so she had some time to prepare herself.

On, Saturday 15th June, we all woke ourselves up. Bleary eyed and sleepy headed, we got ready for an early day an left the house at 8:30am to make it a little early for the opening time which was 9:30am.

The bus ride there was long but quiet which was nice, I could see the excitement on my sister’s face even behind her tired look. We stood in line for around 20 – 30 minutes before they opened their doors to use (They opened me 10-15 minutes past 9:30am). They wait wasn’t so bad, we had made it with a enough time to be somewhat at the front of the line, it really didn’t take long for that line to grow once we had made it there. There were a lot of anxious and excited Pusheen fans waiting to get their free candy floss and discounted items.

I was slightly disappointed once we made it through the doors as the area they had dedicated to the Pusheen tour was very small and cramped, I don’t feel as though enough effort was put into the lay out of where they were going to have their customers engage and look at things. There were defiantly a few items along the back of the wall NEXT to the Pusheen tour items that could have be taken to the back, for the day without it affecting any of their normal purchase.

Other than the MAJOR lack of space which didn’t bond well for any of us, the staff were amazing, friendly and down right lovely to be around, they had some amazing items around us to buy. Not to mention that we were given free goody bags as we walked through the door which held Pusheen related items in them!

We didn’t stay long due to the over crowding, people were finding it difficult to get in and out, to decorate a cookie, to get their free candy floss and it was even too cramped to pick up items and purchase them. However we were able to have a look at what they had around and Cait was even able to pick out a few things.

After buying her items I told Courtney to wait for us by the door as I went back to take our receipt back to the woman that was handling the raffle (if you took back your receipt after buying something, you were able to join in the free raffle), we didn’t win anything from that but I was able to get the girls their free candy floss before leaving the building and continuing on with our day.

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Courtney and Cait with their free Candy Floss outside ‘Worlds Apart’.

Because of house quick it felt like we were there and with how early we had left the house, we decided to pop into a few shops, buy some new clothes, a few items before going for something to eat.

We ended up in Taco bell (the first time I had been in there) where the girls had some tacos, wrap and cheesy chips and I just had some cheesy chips. I have to say that I really enjoyed their cheesy chips, a lot, but didn’t get through many of them. We watched an old woman feeding pigeons and seagulls as we ate our food and talked about where to go or what to do next.

We ended up going to Lush after grabbing a bite to eat and I have to say that I love it inside! You could SMELL the Lush shop before you even got to it, and upon entertaining in, it’s like you’ve entered a mythical land of colours and strong scents. I didn’t Find anything on the bottom floor, though the girls did find one corner of the shop they liked…

The second floor was where I fell in love, but more than anything I fell in love with the scent on the Dragon Egg Bath bomb, I could live in that scent all day!

Lush Bath Bombs
My Lush Bath Bomb purchases

I also found a really beautiful and colourful INTERGALACTIC Bath Bomb, while Courtney had fallen in love with the Sex Bomb Bath Bomb. I also love the staff that are working there, who are just so friendly. The woman I had checking out my items was exceptionally lovely, I was even able to have a comfortable little chat with her and she guessed my accent first go! That’s the first time anyone has guess my accent first go.

All in all, we had a wonderful sisterly day were our anxiety didn’t win over us, we had fun, we enjoyed ourselves and made it home all very tired but all very happy.

I didn’t end up getting the free cotton candy from the Pusheen On Tour event (though I’m a little glad because the girls didn’t like it, it was too thick and almost chewy, it didn’t melt the way cotton candy is meant to) however I did buy myself, my own personal stash of cotton candy that I just love, love, love!

Dr pepper Cotton Candy
Dr Pepper, Cotton Candy

Guys never let your fears, your mental health or mental illnesses stop you from doing anything that you want, don’t let it prevent you from attending events, chasing a dream of yours or from doing something that makes you smile or happy.

There will be days that it will win over us, but the more we fight back, the more days we will win over them! I hope you are all having a lovely weekend and please if you have any questions, problems or requests please feel free contact me here:

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Email – Littletinkable@gmail.com

Instagram – @littletinkablee

Facebook – Littletinkablee

Starting this week on a positive note

So last week was ‘Mental Health Awareness Week’ which motivated me into posting a little more on mental health in the hopes and help of spreading awareness, leading me into thinking a lot more about my own mental health which hasn’t been the best recently and the more I posted about my past struggles and recent it’s brought to light just how much I’ve actually been ignoring my own mental health in the hopes that it would just… disappear I guess.

This week I’m taking a new approach to everything, I haven’t worked EVERYTHING out just yet but I know I will eventually. I don’t want to feel like an impostor posting all this positivity that I’m personally not feeling myself.

I want to start feeling that little glimmer of positive energy that I had when first starting my blog up a few months ago, and to do that I’ve listed a few positive things I want to do throughout the day, everyday of the week to try and ensure a positive week, which will hopefully lead to a better month and in turn a great year.

So what steps am I taking to ensure I have a positive start to my week?


Start my day off with a positive/motivational quote.

Now this may seem silly to some but reading positive/motivational messages can be really good for you, you can feed off of that positive vibe that person had when creating that quote.

I personally love quotes and I always have. I remember when I was 14 and I covered my whole bedroom walls with all different coloured/shaped post-it-notes that had all kind of quotes that I had written/drawn onto them because my mum had forbid me to write on my walls.

Anyone can own a quote, anyone can think up a quote, you don’t have to be famous or a “really big deal” to have your own quote.You see quotes (especially inspirational quotes) EVERYWHERE. Schools, collages, hospitals, your local doctors, shops, on coffee shop sandwich boards and the main source is online; Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, you can even see people’s favourite quotes on Goodreads.

You see quotes (especially inspirational quotes) EVERYWHERE. Schools, collages, hospitals, your local doctors, shops, on coffee shop sandwich boards and the main source is online; Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, you can even see people’s favourite quotes on Goodreads. Quotes are everywhere and they are coaching us from the sidelines of our lives with little pep talks from labels on soap dispensers and tea towels and so on it goes.

With all that in mind I have been thinking about creating and printing out my own positive/motivational quotes when I start printing out ********** (sorry guys I’m keeping it a secret until all is sorted).

Drink hot chocolate or a calming tea in the morning.

I’ve done a rather good job at cutting coffee out of my life this year (though there have been a few times I’ve ‘fallen off the wagon’ and may have caved into a few coffee’s here and there). But I want to continue on cutting out as much caffeine in my life as possible in the hopes that it will help me control my anxiety some day.

I have one of those mums whose every solution to every problems has always been, “Have a cup of tea.”

Feeling sick? Have a cup of tea.

Having friend problems? Have a cup of tea.

Feeling upset? Have a cup of tea.

Just broke your leg? Have a cup of tea…

And well I guess you see my point. Tea is the solution!

If that doesn’t convince maybe some of these tea benefits will?

  • Tea contains antioxidants. Teas of all varieties contain high levels of antioxidants polyphenol that can help keep your body healthier.
  • Tea has less caffeine than coffee. While there are some potential health benefits to consuming moderate amounts of caffeine, drinking loads of it is hard on your hear, other organs and really bad for those who suffer anxiety.
  • Tea can create a calmer but more alert state of mind, helping you relax and concentrate more fully on tasks.
  • Tea eases irritability, headaches, nervous tension and in some cases insomnia.
  • Tea can also cause a temporary increase in short term memory. Not feeling your best today but need to be on the ball? Try drinking some tea! The caffeine it does contain may give you the boost you need to improve your memory, at least for a few hours.

I could list so many more but thought I would try and keep it short as I have more to talk about and share with you.

Morning Yoga

This year I have been working really hard at my yoga but this month I haven’t done as well and I’ve not stuck to it as much as I had at the beginning. I want to change that and start doing my yoga every morning 7am or 8am sharp!

Thinking about starting yoga? Here are some yoga health benefits;

  • Yoga can increase your flexibility
  • It can increase your muscle strength and tone
  • It can improve respiration, energy and vitality
  • It protects your spin
  • And increase your blood flow
  • Yoga can increase your self-esteem and gives you peace of mind
  • It also perfects your posture

There are so many benefits to yoga that I can talk bout if for days and days! Which is why I’ll cut it short here and save the rest for yoga post.

Go for a nature walk

If there’s one thing I love, it’s talking a nice and relaxing stroll with my significant other away from busy traffic and chattering people, where nature still has claim on its land.

My boyfriends ‘go to’ solution for when I am down is to usually take us on what I like to call our little ‘adventures’ where we would walk to the most isolated place we could walk to and enjoy the wonders that nature has to offer. No sound of people, of technology or cars. Just the grassy ground, the quiet air, and singing birds flying by. More often than not taking our little adventure usually works and I find my self flying with the feeling of happiness and love.

Something about being out in the fresh air with my love by my side and no sound or sight of anyone else eases my mind instantly and I always feel myself more relaxed, laying and smiling a lot more. I’ve always been an outdoorsy girl, even when I was younger.

Taking a walk in nature once every day is also going to help push me out of my comfort zone and help me comfortable my anxiety in hopefully a calmer and more comfortable environment for myself. It’s going to be a big push for me but something I feel I need to do, something I realised last week that I’ve might have been ready to do all along.

And, Lastly – READ FOR MY OWN PLEASURE

Me and Toby (Photo credit: My boyfriend)

Reading is something I love to do and do every day but since starting my blog I have stopped reading books simply for my own pleasure and have only been reading books for book reviews and as much as I love and enjoy doing this, I do miss reading books just for myself and so I want to start doing that again this week.

I know some days are going to go by great and others are going to be terrible but it’s all part of life. You have to take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. The bad helps remind us what the good in our lives actually is, it helps keeps us focused on our goal, to live our life as happy and care free as possible.

I hope you have enjoyed to days post and I hope this helps motivate you into ensuring yourself in having a good.

Don’t forget, Mental Health Awareness maybe over and the month is soon coming to an end my dms/messages and email: littletinkable@gmail.com are always open to anyone seeking confidential and non judgemental help/advice.

I also hope this post can help get you in a positive mood this Monday morning. Remember, You can face whatever battle you are facing just take it one day at a time, have a lovely week!

Announcement

This wasn’t what I wanted for today’s post but I’ve been having an incredibly difficult day today and to top the cherry off all my work for today’s post never got saved, leaving me post-less for the day and having to spend the night writing today’s and tomorrows post.

I just want to thank everyone for their on going and continuing support as I learn to open up about my mental health. I’m not really great with my words (ironic coming from someone who has spent her whole life writing them down) but I’m not great at expressing my emotions very well, even less so when trying to use words out loud without writing them down and not being given the time to over analysing them for days first.

But opening up, getting myself out there is something I have made my mission to do this year. Getting over my social anxiety of talking to people online was a big step I’m so happy I’ve manage to knock out of the park this year as before if someone would try to message me I’d block them with a racing heart. It genially gives me anxiety to just talk to someone, even through a message. But I’ve beaten that part of my anxiety this year which is so amazing and I truly am proud of myself for that. I’ve been isolating myself for years, the only one I’ve not managed to scare off is my boyfriend whom I love more than simply word/sentence could explain.

It’s your continued support, messages and comments that helps encourage me to keep going and to keep on my blogging journey. When starting my blog this year in February I couldn’t have prepared myself for the emotional, mental and even physical toll blogging would have on me in just a short amount of time. I went into this with the intentions of investing my all into this blog, my love, pain, sweat, tears, happiness, hope, everything that I have to offer. But I didn’t expect anything to truly happen until at least a year into blogging. I didn’t to gain so much attachment to it so quietly nor did I expect I’d have one person reading my post but now my blog has reached over 200 followers over the short course of time with such incredible viewers.

As stated above I have found dealing with today rather difficult. In all honesty the last two months I have been really struggling to feel the positivity and lightness that I’m trying to spread throughout my blog and social media accounts.

My depression has been trying to grip hold of me in it’s cold, claw like grip to drag me down a hole I no longer want to find myself in. In turn this has kicked my anxiety off into a totally different direction, which is only making my feel worse, and just feeding my depression and messy thoughts.

On top of that I haven’t stuck to my yoga or workouts the why I had planned, and my eating has gone back down, although when my doctor weighed me last week on Thursday I hadn’t lost any weight, I hadn’t gained any either, which is the usual story when it comes to my weight. I either lose it or I stay they same, no change. It get’s so unbearably frustrating sometimes and today I really wanted to give up on everything… I kind of still do but I’m hoping I’ll be able to push through this because I don’t want this blog to be yet another thing in my life that I loved and had taken over/away by my mental health.

I want to continue ‘writing my dream’ of becoming an author. I want to keep this drive to keep writing my novel, this drive to help others and write my posts. I don’t want to lose the one good thing I’ve managed to gain control of.

My mental health has literally taken over my life in every way it possibly could, I’m a slave to my mental health, a puppet whose strings are being controlled solely by my mental health. The only things is hasn’t taken from me is my family, my boyfriend and my pets.

This isn’t forever, I know that. I know some day I’m going to be able to beat all my demons and finally know what inner peace feels likes, one day I’m finally going to love myself and the world I’m in.

But right now I’m taking it one step at a time and today…today was bad step. But it’s okay, it’s okay because it just reminds me, well, I do have good day, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to identify the bad ones like I once wasn’t able to do.

Here’s a picture of me and Toby yesterday. (Photo credits to my boyfriend) Its strange how one really bad day can set you back from months work, but I’ll pick myself up and dust myself off.

I’m hoping to have today’s post re-written by tonight and ready for you all tomorrow, along with tomorrows intended post.

And again, I truly can’t express how much I appreciate all the supportive and heartwarming comments and messages. I was planning on doing a little giveaway this week but I really want to give back and show just how much reading my posts, following me and supporting me really means to be.

Instead I’m going to be planning a big giveaway, where there can be up to at least 3-4 winners. Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a lovely Friday night and even better weekend.

Adventure’s with Dan

So today I’m posting a completely different post from what I was going to do yesterday as my mental health as been decreasing and spiralling into a whole new direction making me feel wrong, off balance and just really not at all my self right now.

Yesterday it really hit me hard and unexpectedly. Feeling as though something was crushing down on me and like I wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone,
Uncontrollable crying and anger at feeling so down for no reason, it just makes me feel as though I’m not in control of my self and there is no scarier feeling than feeling as though you have no control over yourself what so ever, feeling as though your emotions calls the shots and in turn calling the shots on my thoughts. It’s scary, it’s sad, exhausting and it’s something that plagues me daily.

I really didn’t think yesterday was going to be in anyway good, as soon as I’d woken up I’d pretty much already had it in my head that today was going to be a bad day and nothing stops a bad day from happening… or so I thought.

Seeing me so upset, my boyfriend decided to make it his mission to make me feel better and to put a smile on my face. He suggested we go for one of our little adventures (We haven’t been on one for a while), enjoy the warm day we had ahead of us and to take some new pictures which is something he knows I love to do and can get lost in to doing for hours. Taking pictures has always been therapeutic for me, being away from people has always been my main goal in life, I’m not a people person, more of an animal/nature kinda girl and my boyfriend knew this and knew exactly where to take me to distract me from…. well myself.

We jumped over a little lake, walked through a massive field and entered some wooded area’s where we came across so many beautiful flowers (mainly blue bells) and other’s pretty plants. We also got attack by a LOT of fly while walking around which I can’t really say I enjoyed however the fun of trying to escape them and find a clear area from those flies was rather fun.

We climbed over fallen down tree’s, broken walls, massive pipes and avoided as many nettles and stingy plants that we could. Considering how many nettles and stingy plants there were I was surprised and impressed that we’d only got stung once each. When I was a child and I used to explore like that I was forever getting stung by nettles and it became a habit to carry about dock leaves where ever I went. I’d be that strange child making her way to the woods picking up the really massive dock leaves as I went by because I knew at some point I’d get stung by a nettle.

My Dan holding up the big dock leaf

Yesterday was the first time my boyfriend had come across a dock leaf so big which I thought was crazy because a girl that got stung daily when she was younger I’ve come across some really BIG dock leaves but the pure simple joy on his face instantly melted my heart and I needed to get a picture of him and this big dock leaf, and that’s exactly what I did. I took another picture this time of the love of my life standing in nature with pure joy on his face. It’s moments likes these I want to capture forever, and never forget.

We also came a cross a really old vodka bottle, a really old packet of Space Raiders crisp from 2009 and what looked to be an old street that nature had claimed back. There was an old gate with an old auction sign on there and behind the gate where the house would have once been was nothing, no sign of a house once being there other than the gate and the auction sign. There was also a set of really old bollards that still had the Liver Bird print on them. It really did look to be an old street that had been abandoned, forgotten and nature was able to reclaim it back.

After we explored the area a little longer we left to go back home, walking passed the same massive filed and jumping over the same lake we entered the smaller filed again only this time we spotted a really big butterfly. I’ve never been one into butterfly I’ve always personally found them to be ugly and creepy and felt people just got to distracted by their colourful/patterned wings and couldn’t see it for the buggy looking creature it was. HOWEVER! This butterfly will be the only one I will ever say I found to be beautiful and not just the wings but everything about it was beautiful, although it was the beautiful wings that drew me in…

It was big, like really big. With two massive light brown wings with two red looking eyes on top and two purple looking big eyes at the bottoms, this butterfly instantly captured our attention.

The best it I could get at the time!

I tried my hardest to get a really good picture of it but it wouldn’t let me close enough to do and so after a few failed attempts it flew away leaving me in awe and disappointment that I couldn’t get the picture I wanted. We had some food and a half hour break before we walked across a different field and into a smaller wooded area that was just in front of an old butterfly reserve. My boyfriend could see how disappointed I was at not being able to take the picture I wanted and thought maybe we’d spot a few over there that I could take pictures of.

But there wasn’t a single one, there flies and horses and so many bugs crawling about but no butterflies. We then decided to go meet up with a friend and his dog since for this adventure we had decided to take Toby with us and made our way back out. On our way back my boyfriend spotted what appeared to be the same big butterfly and after following it and trying to take a few picture I realised quickly it was EXACTLY the same one. What were the chances!

This time I was more than determined to take a picture of this butterfly who too seemed fascinated with us as every time we got too close it would fly away only to fly right back by us again. Almost as if it didn’t want to move away from us but was scared of what we wanted to do but eventually it seemed as though the butterfly no longer thought our intentions were to harm it because it randomly fly up into the air and then landed on a perfectly clear patch of ground surround by the fields grass.. Ever so slowly I started to take pictures as I walked as slowly and softly as I could to the butterfly. I eventually almost ended up laying on my stomach trying to get a close up of this butterfly without it flying away from me but I apparently didn’t need to fear that because It didn’t move once! When my camera got too close to it, it did hide it’s wings from me a few times but when I’d move back a little the butterfly would open its wings back up to me.

That butterfly was the highlight of my day but being around my boyfriend is what’s truly made it special and so enjoyable. Without him I probably would have had one of the worst days this month and I there isn’t enough words or emotions in the world to describe how thankful I am for him and the things he does for me. For the way he handles me at my worst and manages to make things seem better.

I’ve said it from the start and I’ll say it till the end. I love my boyfriend, more than he probably knows and I never want him to change who he is because it’s who he is that I fell in love with, it’s who he is that my soul is drawn to.

If anyone else is going through a tough time this month/year please feel free to dm, message or email me. I’m always a listening ear for those who needs one, I’m not a judge and so you won’t receive any judgement from me only encouraging words, (hopefully) helpful advice and probably a lot of great quotes.

Please don’t forget to like, comment, share and follow my blog!

April Update

I am incredibly aware that I have slowed down massively with my blog progress and keeping on top of posts and I really am sorry for that however my life is crazy and unpredictable at times and my head is even more so.

I’ve had a lot of opportunities brought my way and a lot of exciting ideas I want to get started on and sharing with you guys! My biggest problem I have when I start getting ideas is it’s never one or two and I have a really hard time slowing down my thought train and being able to pick out a coherent thought, so I’m usually spending a week or two stressing and trying to get my thoughts into place so I can actually get cracking on some of these ideas.

I’m really bad with time management although I have been working really hard on changing that and my old motto “Better late than never”. With that being said, I have a few things planned and almost ready for you guys to read through, I thought I’d just give a little update on what to expect and around the dates you should expect them.

  • I have an author Interview with the one and only amazing Olga Gibbs
  • I will then be realising my long awaited review on Heavenward
  • 10th April I’ll be posting my experience doing yoga for a year
  • 16 April I’ll be posting ‘baking cakes with Cait’
  • 23rd April I’ll be posting ‘Adventure with the kids’
  • 23th April I’ll be posting ‘Mine and Dan’s small adventures’
  • 20th April I’ll be releasing my review on Magic Pie a children’s book written by @Robyn_Embrey
  • 30th April starts the Moxie blog tour!
  • 1st of May starts the Hallow blog Tour!
  • 2nd May I’ll be releasing my review on Moxie
  • 4th May I will then be releasing my review on Hallow!
  • 6th May I’ll be posting my first update on how I’m getting on with @Campnanowrimo for the first time!
  • 13th May I’ll be doing a post called ‘my yoga music’
  • 17th May I’ll be doing a post on the different type of yoga there is out there
  • 20th May I’ll be releasing my post on the different types of eating disorder there are out there.
  • I’m also currently in the middle of attempting to write my first ever children’s book!
  • 24th May I’ll be writing another post on Anxiety and living with it
  • 27th May, ‘A message to those who have care for an anxiety sufferer’
  • 31st May I’ll be writing a post on depression.

Now I do have a LOT more things planned than that including the release of my anxiety candle range and more exciting things. I also have other post ideas that I will probably be adding into the mix and I’ll probably end up changing a few of the titles on my posts.

I’m trying to be more regular in my blogging but I have taken on the @Campnanowrimo challenge and this will be my first year of doing it and so I’m a little all over the place trying to write, plan, stay active and healthy while staying on top of daily life, thinking of new creative ideas as well as reaching out to other bloggers/brads for guest posts and product testing.

Speaking of which, after May I am going to start posting product review (or in May if things speed up) and I’m super excited about that. I hope that this post has got everyone excited for my future posts and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or collaborations you’d like to do with me, You can click on the links below to be taken to my social accounts which you can use to contact me through or use my email: Littletinkable@Gmail.com

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Heavenward-Dark-fantasy-Celestial-Creatures-ebook/dp/B07HCNK2M8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=heavenward&qid=1554821699&s=gateway&sr=8-1

I would also just like to state that if anyone is interesting in reading Heavenward it has now become amazon first best seller! And to top it off the wonderful author who created such a wonderfully captivating book has placed heavenward for free on all platforms including Amazon to celebrate her soon releasing of Hallow the next book in ‘The Celestial Creatures series’. So don’t miss you’re chance at getting the first copy for free, the offer won’t be there forever and you won’t regret getting it!

Do you like YA? Things with a little dark twist? How about a down to earth heroine that has the ability to save or destroy the very people who hurt her, and the people she cares for? How about angels with a sense of humour? Don’t miss you’re chance to download a free copy! CLICK HERE to be directed to the sites that you can go on to download this great book for FREE.

(Both tours that I have taken part in are both hosted by the fabulous @FraserFunHouse, if you’d like to check out her blog just CLICK HERE!)

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To the strong woman who raised me…Thank you!

Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best person for buying presents, I stress over them too much and end up settling so as to avoid feeling bad if the person doesn’t like the gift I bought. And despite working on becoming an author and full time writer, I’m also not the best with words ( The irony isn’t lost on me either ).

I suppose I’m good with writing my words down, but to actually try and voice them out? You have a better chance at me crying gold than expressing myself properly. I never feel as though the words I say and the gifts I buy does justice on just how thankful me and my siblings are to have such a strong and independent woman raising us. So I wanted to instead dedicate a blog post to the one woman in my life that has shown me no matter how dark a day may seem, no matter how hopeless you may find yourself, there is reason to keep pushing forwards. She has shown me not to let others dictate what I do, she’s taught me not to let the opinions of others get to you (good or bad) as that is all they are, opinions not facts.

My beautiful mother after her first operation

So without further a due I would like to start of by saying… Thank you, mam. Thank you for being the mum we needed, thank you for being the dad that wouldn’t be there and for being the shoulder to cry on through hard times. Thank you for becoming out best friends so we felt comfortable enough to confined in you when we needed to as I was aware of just how rare that was when I was younger.

I used to have a lot of people feeling bad for me when they realised that it was just my mum that raised me but what they didn’t realise was that I also felt bad for them because they would never have the same bond or connect with their mother as I do with mine. It baffled me when girls would tell me the things they kept from their mum and I’d be sat there like…she’s the first person to hear about this stuff. I remember being in year 7 and I still used the threat of “I’m going to tell my mum on you!” whenever I had a problem with someone. To me, my mum was the baddest most invisible person you could ever come across, the best person to have on your side and the worst person to have as an enemy of any kind. And it doesn’t matter how much older I get, what the world has to shown me and the things that we experience, I still think that about her to this day, probably more so now than I ever did then.

Watching and being able to understand all that she has gone through, all that she is going through and all that is willing to go through just for her children makes me proud to tell everyone that woman right there, she’s my mum and she’s my dad and best friend wrapped up into one perfectly imperfect woman. I wouldn’t change a single crazy, wacky, Gothic trait my mum has in her body.

Mam you are always the voice of reason, the calm in our storm, the best friend we all so desperately seek out and the best mother anyone could ask for. Watching you go through what you have and still coming out on top (even when it may not seem like it) is one of the most inspiring things that we get to witness daily from you. And I know that it is you, your strength and no nonsense attitude that has helped Courtney into becoming the young woman she is today, through your strength she was able to to find her own and harness that to her advantages. You have help Jod become the amazing and caring mother she is today, living with such a protective mother you are unconsciously giving her the tools she needs to help her become who she is, you have help shown her what it takes to be a good mother. By giving all the love and support you have & reminding that you are always there when needed.

You have helped the younger kids in more ways than you could possibly ever understand. Growing up in such a chaotic and confusing era to know that they have someone who knows them inside and out it there on their side, no matter what..? It’s one of the best gift you could had anyone. And I know that they know how lucky they are to have you as their mother.

And lastly… You have helped me beyond measure. Knowing that there was someone I could always talk, about any and everything is one of the greatest things you have ever done for me. There have been a lot of times where I don’t think I wouldn’t have made it out by myself if I didn’t have someone like you to talk and vent to. You have shown me to be hard, to be truthful and take no bullshit, while still being kind and to help those who need or can’t help themselves. You have taught me that no matter how small you feel, if someone is in need of help you go help them and if you get your ass kicked helping that person then you take it with pride, you work on what went wrong and then you go make things right.

You taught me the value in our words and the power that they carry. You were and still are the dad I always needed and the mother that anyone would be lucky to have. You are the inspiration behind my dreams, if it wasn’t for your passion for words, for helping others and being independent I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to pursue my dreams of becoming an author. I don’t even think I would have the guts to even admit my dreams to anyone. I never would have started my blog or even picked up a book if it wasn’t for you!

So to show my thanks for everything that you do for not only me but for my siblings written a little poem with clues/hints as to what your presents over the next few weeks are going to be. After the rough year you had last year and everything that is to come, we wanted to make this one a little more special for you.

(I will warn you though, this is the first time I have ever had to write a poem based around specific items so it is a little terrible but hopefully they’ll keep you guess -with hopefully a clue little or idea as to what it could be- until you receive your gifts)

The first is a fairy tale

with a little twist

it all may seem so innocent

with pages first kiss

The second likes to be pet

but be careful of their claws

And always keep in mind

never to forget

Some are cute and cuddly

and some are snugly and cute!

Now it’s time to change your fashion sense

to something new and fun

we have taken the time to find

you something cute with a little bit of sun

We know you like you colours

we know you love your vamps

but I have found you something

a little like a lamp!

Happy mother’s day to my one of a kind mammy. No matter how hard life may seem I know I always have you on my side to see me through just as you have me on your side. We all love you so very much! And can’t thank you enough for being you!

Books saved my life

“She reads books as one would breath air, to fill up and life.”

Today I thought I would share with everyone the real truth behind my love for reading. Now I know I have told the story a few times to people on how I became so obsessed with reading after all I used to write and read my own stories when I was child, however, I hardly ever picked up a book written by another person.

But on a particularity boring day, the sun was shining, the warm weather had kicked in and so too had the start of my extreme anxiety and the start of depression. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house that day, my step dad had decided that football would be an amazing thing to watch that day and so I ventured upstairs into my mum room (I used to nap my mums room because I always felt safer there) but I wasn’t able to go to sleep. I wasn’t able to shut out the world around me and so picked up the first book my hand touched. Which just so happened to be ‘Twilight’ by Stephenie Meyer.

I had found a new love for books that day, I was unable to place it down and ended up taking it to my room where I continued to read it through out the night with no sleep. Once that was finished I instantly picked up the next and the next and the next.

I was devastated when I finished reading all of the Twilight books. What was I going to read now? That was the first book that had ever sucked me in and made forget the world I was in and to feel as though I was in the world of someone else.

With that thought in mind I ventured back to my mums room to take a look at all the other books my mum had laying around. My mother is one of the biggest book lovers I have ever known, loved reading from an early age as a child her favourite books to read where the Grimm Tales by Jacob Grimm books. I’ve recently bought her an old book by Jacob Grimm for mothers day that I really hope she enjoys.

The next book I picked up was The Vampire Diaries Volume 1; Awakening & The struggle – book 1-2 by L. J. Smith which I had just gotten overly obsessed with. I never wanted to put the book down for even a second of my time! It was after reading these books my love for reading truly came into play and I bought book after book.

At this point in my life I had start high school and was entering probably my 5th month of being there, already started the process of distancing myself away from people, I stopped hanging out with my friends and when I did I never had anything to say or add to our conversations. It was as though I no longer cared for the social game, I didn’t care if the pretty girls like me and thought I was cool, I no longer cared if I had any of the boys attention, I no longer cared for my work or the grades that I had spent all my life working hard to get better at. I just didn’t care anymore. Life with and around humans just didn’t seem like something I could carry on doing any more. I didn’t feel human… I still don’t at times.

I tried, I tried to keep in the conversation with my friends, I tried to engage in petty talk and breaking up arguments between my girlfriends, I tried to show interest in my school crush and I really did try caring about the mark the teachers were handing back to me but everything had started to feel…. not pointless but….Insane.

It honestly seemed insane to me that we were forced to do things we didn’t want to just because we were born into this society, because the people in power have told us this is best and this is what must be done. I noticed more the older I got the less people cared for you and your well being, teachers only start caring about the marks and numbers the school is making, kids stop dreaming about becoming a singers and wrestlers and start thinking about child-care or building… I watched kids go from dreams to piratical thinking and it killed any and every magic I thought was left in the world.

I believed all magic was gone by this point. I was locking myself away, I didn’t want to interact with anyone friend, family or stranger. There were a few moments of self-harm (luckily it was all shallow and not at all something that would leave any scars), there were so many moments that I just slept away because I was so sick of being awake, of being alive and there were countless of nights/days where I thought about suicide, where I thought about all the pros to be going gone, to not being here anymore… but there was always a major con that kept me here.

My family. Who’d help look after them, who would be there for them? Who would drop everything at drop of a hat to go running to try and save the day? My mother and siblings me the absolute world to me, they’re the only people in the world that understand my crazy & weird and love me unconditionally for it anyway. I couldn’t put them through something like that, I could do that and leave them thinking there was something they could have done, I didn’t want them living with the guilt that there was something that could have been done.

But even that thought was barely keeping me on. It wasn’t until I opened up that first book by Stepheine Meyer that magic was restored back into my life, it was as if a switch had been touched and a light had come on. All the fairy-tales that become Grimm’s Tales for me became the magical, soft and vibrant fairy tales they once used to be to me.

Books have restored my love for life, its given me a reason to go on, it’s given me something to escape to when reality gets to hard and scary. The creative imagination and other worldly views created by amazing people is what’s inspired me to become a writer of my own, to become an aspiring author who will one day have her book out on shelves in shops and in photos on Instagram from those who have read/bought my creation.

If you don’t read, if you’re kids don’t read then I beg you give it try! Find them a book they will like or do what my mum taught me to do and teach your kids to write their own little stories they can read. Books saved my life in the same way music saves others. It’s restored my faith in magic and has given me a goal to focusing my energy on.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy books, and that’s kind of the same thing…

This is one quote i have forever and always loved because it’s true, for me anyway. happiness can’t be bought but I find a little bit of happiness in every book i open, in ever page i turn and in ever new world I enter.

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day

So Today marks International Women’s Day. This is a day celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day where women are recognised for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political. The Charter of the United Nations, signed in 1945, was the first international agreement to affirm the principle of equality between women and men.

Since then women have come a long, long way from where we were then. We have a lot more freedom although there still seem to be so many obstacles in the way, when looking back i’m slightly stunned by what we as women have achieved. In honour of International Women’s Day I thought I’d write a post on inspirational women. Now there is without a doubt countless of inspirational women out there but for me my inspiration is drawn from my mother and younger sisters.

My mum has forever been the one person I know I can relay on, she’s always been there for me. Through the worst decisions of my life to some of the best, she’s pushed me forward when all I wanted to do was step back. She’s manage to be my mum, dad, best friend, protector and therapist all in one go. She’s never once stopped me from doing something I’ve wanted to do, she’s always stood by and supported me through my decisions however good or bad, just giving me advice whenever she could.

I have watched my mum fight some dark demons from past and present and she still continues to fight them to this day, and the amount of respect I have for the strength she always seems to managed to find is almost as much as the love I have for her. I would never trad a single quirky, Gothic, erratic and caring trait of hers. Her imperfections and perfections are what makes her such an amazing mum and I could never ask for a better one, I’ve never needed anything because of her, even when I was blind to that. (Pesky teenage hormones )

I say my sisters are also inspirational women is because although two have yet to make it into ‘womanhood’ they have all been through so much, are going through so much and coming out the other side better than I ever would. The way my sisters just take the bad and shake it off is so… admirable. I have a break down when I can’t find a pair of matching socks!

Not only that but they have also been there for me, when I have been sad and I think I’m hiding that I’m sad I’ll suddenly get a hug out of nowhere, a piece of paper slipped under a door with a drawing. They know what to say what to do to make me smile and I’m so proud of the woman and young girls that they are growing up to be. They don’t see it, or realise just how amazing they are but I know and now the rest of my readers do too!

And they are all so creative and smart! I spent 3 years using the internet, youtube and books I could get my hands on teaching my self to play the keyboard and another two-three learning how to play the piano. But my little sister taught herself how to play twinkle little start in one evening just by using sound! She didn’t search up the keys, the notes or what order to play them she played every single note, listen to every little sound until she made a sound that sounded like Twinkle little Star.

My other sister has self taught drawing, something I too tried at one point but quickly lost all passion for it when I realised I just wasn’t any good at it. But my sister has perfected the art of teaching herself to draw, she has spent many hours drawing and re-drawing the same picture until it looked right to her. She has over come so many things in her life through bullies to unexplained emotions to growing up. She’s put me to shame with her strength and reserve in continuing on no matter how hard things seem.

And then my youngest sister, being through so much already at a young age with medical issues the doctors had told my mum and step dad that my sister would never be able to walk, talk , crawl or be her own person due to complications but at the age of one my sister had them all gobsmacked when she was talking, crawling and learning how to walk! She’s always acted older than her age and I believe my sister has one of those old soul. She’s very academic, she’s so very clever and bright and recently she’s dabbled in art and the practice of yoga.

These women have been there throughout the best and worst of my life, the have stuck by me and have helped me through some pretty bad times and I couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t who they are now. I’d never change a single thing about them and can only hope that as they get older, as the world keeps turning people too will recognise just how special they are too.

Me and my brother sat with my three younger sisters and my mother on Christmas Eve three years ago.

I hope this opens your eyes to the women around you and the women in your lives and makes you realise what little gift they are to have in your life. Don’t take them for granted, take care in what they say and believe them when they say they care. Women can be your best friend or your worst nightmare its all in how we are treated and how much respect we are shown.

Show us respect and you might be surprised by the out come that will have.