Foe under cover – when friends turn

Freshman Year of High School

 My name is Karalee, and I am 25 years old. I am from Texas, but I currently live in Denmark. I have a three-year-old daughter, and my blog Tales of Belle focuses on beauty, books, and lifestyle.

    At the start of my freshman year of high school, I ate lunch with a group of friends who I have known since junior high. We were in the same class during the lunch break therefore it made sense to eat lunch together. However, things quickly changed. Every day during lunch, my friends would tell me I am fat and make fun of me while I was eating my lunch. I tried to laugh it off because how could my friends be so mean to me? As the days went on, my friends continued to bring my self-esteem down,

I ended up feeling horrible about myself, but I tried to stick around hoping that my friends would go back to the way they used to be. They did not.

   One day I decided I had enough of my friends bringing me down.

I realised that if they were my real friends, they would not constantly call me fat.

During that lunch break, instead of sitting with my normal friends, I went up to another one of my friends in my class and asked him if I could eat lunch with him. He did not mind, and for the first time since starting high school I felt accepted.

Instead of him making fun of me, we talked about normal friend things.

For the rest of the school year, I ate lunch with him instead of my “fake friends”.

   However, things did not stop there. My ex-friends noticed I was no longer eating lunch with them, and when they would try to talk to me, I ignored them because I decided for my self-esteem it would be best to not socialise with people who constantly brought me down. Shortly after I had started eating lunch with my guy friend, my ex-friends started a rumour about me. They decided to tell our mutual friends that I was pregnant and my guy friend was the father.

I was in shock. Not only did my ex-friends bring my self-esteem down to rock bottom, but they started a rumour that was the furthest from the truth.

I was a virgin at the time and me and my guy friend were just friends. Luckily, our mutual friends realised the truth, and the rumour died quickly.

   Even though I went through a horrible experience in high school, I was able to realise who my real friends were, and I remained friends with them for the rest of high school while I distanced myself from ex-friends. Without my real friends including my guy friend who I ate lunch with during my freshman year, I would probably have a difficult time moving on from the experience of being bullied. It did take me the rest of high school to feel confident in myself again,

but my friends were constantly there to bring me up, and by the time I started college I could finally say I love myself.

Kids really can be horrible one another at times, especially when jealous hits them. I think this experience can who others just how deceiving people can be and I have met first hand some people who may have came across as lovely or nice and then turned out the be more than the exact opposite.

I’m so glad that you’re guy friend could help through such a difficult time, even while he was thrown into their silly little games, some people cower from that sort of thing and when a person can stand tall for both you through it… I think it’s safe to say that’s a true friend right there. I also think its wonderful that you had friends that didn’t scum to your ex-friends silly ways.

You’re experience and the way you handle it reminds me of quote about strength and courage;

A truly strong person does not need the approval of other’s anymore than a lion needs the approval of sheep.

Vernon Howard

Because it takes a lot of strength and courage to estrange yourself from people you once thought of as friends and to stick your ground when they get so cruel, you should be proud of the girl you was back then as she has helped you transform into the woman you are today.

Click here, if you would like to check out Karalee’s beautiful blog @Talesofbelle and read her latest blog post, ‘The Haunting Of Hill House Book Review.’

I would like to thank Karalee and everyone else who has so far taken part in the ‘My Bully Experience.’ If you would like to get involved or take part in some way (you can be completely anonymous in sharing your story if you aren’t comfortable with sharing who you are while sharing these experiences) You can send me an email with a short Bio (or not) any links to blogs/pages/social media’s , any pictures and of course you’re experience with either online/real life bulling, trolling or stalking.

If you’d like to read more ‘my bully experience’ stories then you ‘ click here ‘ and read the other brave yet inspiring stories written by amazing people who have overcome such terrible treatment off other’s.

To the strong woman who raised me…Thank you!

Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best person for buying presents, I stress over them too much and end up settling so as to avoid feeling bad if the person doesn’t like the gift I bought. And despite working on becoming an author and full time writer, I’m also not the best with words ( The irony isn’t lost on me either ).

I suppose I’m good with writing my words down, but to actually try and voice them out? You have a better chance at me crying gold than expressing myself properly. I never feel as though the words I say and the gifts I buy does justice on just how thankful me and my siblings are to have such a strong and independent woman raising us. So I wanted to instead dedicate a blog post to the one woman in my life that has shown me no matter how dark a day may seem, no matter how hopeless you may find yourself, there is reason to keep pushing forwards. She has shown me not to let others dictate what I do, she’s taught me not to let the opinions of others get to you (good or bad) as that is all they are, opinions not facts.

My beautiful mother after her first operation

So without further a due I would like to start of by saying… Thank you, mam. Thank you for being the mum we needed, thank you for being the dad that wouldn’t be there and for being the shoulder to cry on through hard times. Thank you for becoming out best friends so we felt comfortable enough to confined in you when we needed to as I was aware of just how rare that was when I was younger.

I used to have a lot of people feeling bad for me when they realised that it was just my mum that raised me but what they didn’t realise was that I also felt bad for them because they would never have the same bond or connect with their mother as I do with mine. It baffled me when girls would tell me the things they kept from their mum and I’d be sat there like…she’s the first person to hear about this stuff. I remember being in year 7 and I still used the threat of “I’m going to tell my mum on you!” whenever I had a problem with someone. To me, my mum was the baddest most invisible person you could ever come across, the best person to have on your side and the worst person to have as an enemy of any kind. And it doesn’t matter how much older I get, what the world has to shown me and the things that we experience, I still think that about her to this day, probably more so now than I ever did then.

Watching and being able to understand all that she has gone through, all that she is going through and all that is willing to go through just for her children makes me proud to tell everyone that woman right there, she’s my mum and she’s my dad and best friend wrapped up into one perfectly imperfect woman. I wouldn’t change a single crazy, wacky, Gothic trait my mum has in her body.

Mam you are always the voice of reason, the calm in our storm, the best friend we all so desperately seek out and the best mother anyone could ask for. Watching you go through what you have and still coming out on top (even when it may not seem like it) is one of the most inspiring things that we get to witness daily from you. And I know that it is you, your strength and no nonsense attitude that has helped Courtney into becoming the young woman she is today, through your strength she was able to to find her own and harness that to her advantages. You have help Jod become the amazing and caring mother she is today, living with such a protective mother you are unconsciously giving her the tools she needs to help her become who she is, you have help shown her what it takes to be a good mother. By giving all the love and support you have & reminding that you are always there when needed.

You have helped the younger kids in more ways than you could possibly ever understand. Growing up in such a chaotic and confusing era to know that they have someone who knows them inside and out it there on their side, no matter what..? It’s one of the best gift you could had anyone. And I know that they know how lucky they are to have you as their mother.

And lastly… You have helped me beyond measure. Knowing that there was someone I could always talk, about any and everything is one of the greatest things you have ever done for me. There have been a lot of times where I don’t think I wouldn’t have made it out by myself if I didn’t have someone like you to talk and vent to. You have shown me to be hard, to be truthful and take no bullshit, while still being kind and to help those who need or can’t help themselves. You have taught me that no matter how small you feel, if someone is in need of help you go help them and if you get your ass kicked helping that person then you take it with pride, you work on what went wrong and then you go make things right.

You taught me the value in our words and the power that they carry. You were and still are the dad I always needed and the mother that anyone would be lucky to have. You are the inspiration behind my dreams, if it wasn’t for your passion for words, for helping others and being independent I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to pursue my dreams of becoming an author. I don’t even think I would have the guts to even admit my dreams to anyone. I never would have started my blog or even picked up a book if it wasn’t for you!

So to show my thanks for everything that you do for not only me but for my siblings written a little poem with clues/hints as to what your presents over the next few weeks are going to be. After the rough year you had last year and everything that is to come, we wanted to make this one a little more special for you.

(I will warn you though, this is the first time I have ever had to write a poem based around specific items so it is a little terrible but hopefully they’ll keep you guess -with hopefully a clue little or idea as to what it could be- until you receive your gifts)

The first is a fairy tale

with a little twist

it all may seem so innocent

with pages first kiss

The second likes to be pet

but be careful of their claws

And always keep in mind

never to forget

Some are cute and cuddly

and some are snugly and cute!

Now it’s time to change your fashion sense

to something new and fun

we have taken the time to find

you something cute with a little bit of sun

We know you like you colours

we know you love your vamps

but I have found you something

a little like a lamp!

Happy mother’s day to my one of a kind mammy. No matter how hard life may seem I know I always have you on my side to see me through just as you have me on your side. We all love you so very much! And can’t thank you enough for being you!