Books saved my life

“She reads books as one would breath air, to fill up and life.”

Today I thought I would share with everyone the real truth behind my love for reading. Now I know I have told the story a few times to people on how I became so obsessed with reading after all I used to write and read my own stories when I was child, however, I hardly ever picked up a book written by another person.

But on a particularity boring day, the sun was shining, the warm weather had kicked in and so too had the start of my extreme anxiety and the start of depression. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house that day, my step dad had decided that football would be an amazing thing to watch that day and so I ventured upstairs into my mum room (I used to nap my mums room because I always felt safer there) but I wasn’t able to go to sleep. I wasn’t able to shut out the world around me and so picked up the first book my hand touched. Which just so happened to be ‘Twilight’ by Stephenie Meyer.

I had found a new love for books that day, I was unable to place it down and ended up taking it to my room where I continued to read it through out the night with no sleep. Once that was finished I instantly picked up the next and the next and the next.

I was devastated when I finished reading all of the Twilight books. What was I going to read now? That was the first book that had ever sucked me in and made forget the world I was in and to feel as though I was in the world of someone else.

With that thought in mind I ventured back to my mums room to take a look at all the other books my mum had laying around. My mother is one of the biggest book lovers I have ever known, loved reading from an early age as a child her favourite books to read where the Grimm Tales by Jacob Grimm books. I’ve recently bought her an old book by Jacob Grimm for mothers day that I really hope she enjoys.

The next book I picked up was The Vampire Diaries Volume 1; Awakening & The struggle – book 1-2 by L. J. Smith which I had just gotten overly obsessed with. I never wanted to put the book down for even a second of my time! It was after reading these books my love for reading truly came into play and I bought book after book.

At this point in my life I had start high school and was entering probably my 5th month of being there, already started the process of distancing myself away from people, I stopped hanging out with my friends and when I did I never had anything to say or add to our conversations. It was as though I no longer cared for the social game, I didn’t care if the pretty girls like me and thought I was cool, I no longer cared if I had any of the boys attention, I no longer cared for my work or the grades that I had spent all my life working hard to get better at. I just didn’t care anymore. Life with and around humans just didn’t seem like something I could carry on doing any more. I didn’t feel human… I still don’t at times.

I tried, I tried to keep in the conversation with my friends, I tried to engage in petty talk and breaking up arguments between my girlfriends, I tried to show interest in my school crush and I really did try caring about the mark the teachers were handing back to me but everything had started to feel…. not pointless but….Insane.

It honestly seemed insane to me that we were forced to do things we didn’t want to just because we were born into this society, because the people in power have told us this is best and this is what must be done. I noticed more the older I got the less people cared for you and your well being, teachers only start caring about the marks and numbers the school is making, kids stop dreaming about becoming a singers and wrestlers and start thinking about child-care or building… I watched kids go from dreams to piratical thinking and it killed any and every magic I thought was left in the world.

I believed all magic was gone by this point. I was locking myself away, I didn’t want to interact with anyone friend, family or stranger. There were a few moments of self-harm (luckily it was all shallow and not at all something that would leave any scars), there were so many moments that I just slept away because I was so sick of being awake, of being alive and there were countless of nights/days where I thought about suicide, where I thought about all the pros to be going gone, to not being here anymore… but there was always a major con that kept me here.

My family. Who’d help look after them, who would be there for them? Who would drop everything at drop of a hat to go running to try and save the day? My mother and siblings me the absolute world to me, they’re the only people in the world that understand my crazy & weird and love me unconditionally for it anyway. I couldn’t put them through something like that, I could do that and leave them thinking there was something they could have done, I didn’t want them living with the guilt that there was something that could have been done.

But even that thought was barely keeping me on. It wasn’t until I opened up that first book by Stepheine Meyer that magic was restored back into my life, it was as if a switch had been touched and a light had come on. All the fairy-tales that become Grimm’s Tales for me became the magical, soft and vibrant fairy tales they once used to be to me.

Books have restored my love for life, its given me a reason to go on, it’s given me something to escape to when reality gets to hard and scary. The creative imagination and other worldly views created by amazing people is what’s inspired me to become a writer of my own, to become an aspiring author who will one day have her book out on shelves in shops and in photos on Instagram from those who have read/bought my creation.

If you don’t read, if you’re kids don’t read then I beg you give it try! Find them a book they will like or do what my mum taught me to do and teach your kids to write their own little stories they can read. Books saved my life in the same way music saves others. It’s restored my faith in magic and has given me a goal to focusing my energy on.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy books, and that’s kind of the same thing…

This is one quote i have forever and always loved because it’s true, for me anyway. happiness can’t be bought but I find a little bit of happiness in every book i open, in ever page i turn and in ever new world I enter.

Five Favourite Monthly Bloggers

To help spread the love and appreciate the work of other bloggers I thought that I would do a monthly favourite blogger, every month I’ll post my top five favourite bloggers that have caught my eye/ interest this month and link back to their blog and latest post. Being a blogger for about two month and I honestly couldn’t have been prepared for the work and time that goes into ones blog. The passion that some bloggers are able to show with just their words is simply amazes me.

This month I have noticed a drop in everyone engagement and lot more bloggers are feeling discourage to carry on or to write their next blog post so I though it would be fun and a great little idea to do a monthly blogger post.

So without further ado here’s my March’s months five top monthly bloggers:

  1. Hannah | Pages, Places & Plates. Just the name makes me smile! Hannah is a new blogger focusing on Travel and book reviews. I especially loved her book review on ‘Choosing me -love letter from a poet’ by Bill Weber and can’t wait to read the book myself this year! If you love travel and books then you’ll love Pages, Places & Plates. (Click here to be directed to her latest blog post called ‘Odell’s Coffee Shop’ and don’t forget to leave a like/comment to show your love!)
  2. Sam | Stressedmum is a blog is one that automatically catches the eyes. Whether you are a mother yourself or not the title is something a lot of women can relate to. I cam across stressedmum while applying for a giveaway the name caught my attention and so I clicked on her profile and onto a link that directed me to her blog page and instantly fell in love with it! If you are looking for a parenting blog/ lifestyle blog then this is the one for you! Click here to check out her latest blog post and don’t forget to show some love by leaving a comment.
  3. Hannah | Wellbean Blog is one if you have been following me you would have heard before. I have done a collaboration with Wellbean once and hope to do so again in the future. Wellbean blog attracted me when I saw that she was raising awareness for eating disorders. I’ve loved reading her blog posts ever since. This is a fantastic mental health blog that I really feel should have more attention directed at it than it does now. To read her latest blog post, click here, and don’t forget to leave something positive in the comments!
  4. Michael Neale | Prudent Gaming is probably one of the only gamer bloggers out there that I follow. Being a lover of only the old PlayStation One classics I’ve never considered myself to be a gamer however Prudent Gaming caught my attention writing the stories for video games. His passion for what he does and what he wants to achieve is very plain and clear in his work and I know a lot of gamers who would love to read his blog posts daily! So why don’t click here to read his latest post and leave a comment to share the love. I feel a lot of my readers would really like this blog.
  5. Kristen | Books.Faith.Love is a simply stunning blog dedicated to all things books. Now if you are as much of a book lover as I am coming across a really great book blog is basically like coming across gold! The work that has clearly been put into this blog truly shows and I’m so glad that I came across her blog. She also has an stunning Instagram feed! Click here to be sweep over to her latest post.

I hope you all love checking these bloggers out as much as I love reading their posts! Don’t forget to show them how much you enjoyed reading their posts by subscribing/ commenting or liking.

Stay tuned for another one next month, I follow and read so many amazing bloggers and their posts that I feel ‘Five Favourite Monthly Bloggers’ will never end.

Enjoy your Wednesday guys!