Foe under cover – when friends turn

Freshman Year of High School

 My name is Karalee, and I am 25 years old. I am from Texas, but I currently live in Denmark. I have a three-year-old daughter, and my blog Tales of Belle focuses on beauty, books, and lifestyle.

    At the start of my freshman year of high school, I ate lunch with a group of friends who I have known since junior high. We were in the same class during the lunch break therefore it made sense to eat lunch together. However, things quickly changed. Every day during lunch, my friends would tell me I am fat and make fun of me while I was eating my lunch. I tried to laugh it off because how could my friends be so mean to me? As the days went on, my friends continued to bring my self-esteem down,

I ended up feeling horrible about myself, but I tried to stick around hoping that my friends would go back to the way they used to be. They did not.

   One day I decided I had enough of my friends bringing me down.

I realised that if they were my real friends, they would not constantly call me fat.

During that lunch break, instead of sitting with my normal friends, I went up to another one of my friends in my class and asked him if I could eat lunch with him. He did not mind, and for the first time since starting high school I felt accepted.

Instead of him making fun of me, we talked about normal friend things.

For the rest of the school year, I ate lunch with him instead of my “fake friends”.

   However, things did not stop there. My ex-friends noticed I was no longer eating lunch with them, and when they would try to talk to me, I ignored them because I decided for my self-esteem it would be best to not socialise with people who constantly brought me down. Shortly after I had started eating lunch with my guy friend, my ex-friends started a rumour about me. They decided to tell our mutual friends that I was pregnant and my guy friend was the father.

I was in shock. Not only did my ex-friends bring my self-esteem down to rock bottom, but they started a rumour that was the furthest from the truth.

I was a virgin at the time and me and my guy friend were just friends. Luckily, our mutual friends realised the truth, and the rumour died quickly.

   Even though I went through a horrible experience in high school, I was able to realise who my real friends were, and I remained friends with them for the rest of high school while I distanced myself from ex-friends. Without my real friends including my guy friend who I ate lunch with during my freshman year, I would probably have a difficult time moving on from the experience of being bullied. It did take me the rest of high school to feel confident in myself again,

but my friends were constantly there to bring me up, and by the time I started college I could finally say I love myself.

Kids really can be horrible one another at times, especially when jealous hits them. I think this experience can who others just how deceiving people can be and I have met first hand some people who may have came across as lovely or nice and then turned out the be more than the exact opposite.

I’m so glad that you’re guy friend could help through such a difficult time, even while he was thrown into their silly little games, some people cower from that sort of thing and when a person can stand tall for both you through it… I think it’s safe to say that’s a true friend right there. I also think its wonderful that you had friends that didn’t scum to your ex-friends silly ways.

You’re experience and the way you handle it reminds me of quote about strength and courage;

A truly strong person does not need the approval of other’s anymore than a lion needs the approval of sheep.

Vernon Howard

Because it takes a lot of strength and courage to estrange yourself from people you once thought of as friends and to stick your ground when they get so cruel, you should be proud of the girl you was back then as she has helped you transform into the woman you are today.

Click here, if you would like to check out Karalee’s beautiful blog @Talesofbelle and read her latest blog post, ‘The Haunting Of Hill House Book Review.’

I would like to thank Karalee and everyone else who has so far taken part in the ‘My Bully Experience.’ If you would like to get involved or take part in some way (you can be completely anonymous in sharing your story if you aren’t comfortable with sharing who you are while sharing these experiences) You can send me an email with a short Bio (or not) any links to blogs/pages/social media’s , any pictures and of course you’re experience with either online/real life bulling, trolling or stalking.

If you’d like to read more ‘my bully experience’ stories then you ‘ click here ‘ and read the other brave yet inspiring stories written by amazing people who have overcome such terrible treatment off other’s.

School Bullies.

  
So hey! My name is Madara. I’m a blogger from Latvia. I’m 16 years old and I’m here to tell you my experience with bullies and bullying.

My bullying experience started in first grade…Harsh, I know. As I am different from most Latvians I got bullied a lot. My skin color is a bit darker than an average Latvian. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I look a bit like someone who comes from Asia and that is because my dad’s dad is from Kazakhstan.

  People used to say that I’m Chinese. They called me a chineezer. It didn’t offend me because I was raised with an idea that we are all human beings no matter what is your skin color, religion,  sexuality, nationality etc. At that age I didn’t understand why would they think I’m Chinese. Of course later on I realised that I look a bit like an Asian person. They would make all these jokes about me. Yes, there were times when I cried about it. But now I know that they were just not educated enough to know the difference form a Chinese person, Korean person or any other person form Asia.

  Later on I changed schools and started playing piano at a professional music school in Riga. But to get in I would have to go to first grade again, because my piano skills weren’t enough to get in second grade. So I went to first grade twice.

People still make fun about that but I don’t really care, because I went to that school I am now studying with basically straight A’s.

   Yes, I was bullied in that school. Again with the Chinese stuff among a lot of other. There were times when boys would lift my skirt up or try to pull it down in front of a lot of people. That made me feel really uncomfortable. There were times when my classmates would throw my stuff around the class.

They did a lot of mean things.

And I always told my parents about them.

  I am lucky to have such understanding and protective parents.

They always called the teacher and got the situation all sorted out. There were times when my classmates ended up in the principal’s office. Looking back at it now, they were just kids who were insecure about themselves so they took it out on me.

  After fourth grade I decided I didn’t want to play the piano anymore so I left that school and went back to my old school. I mean of course I wasn’t in my last class. Of course I got new classmates because I was a grade lower then all my ex classmates. In fifth class…That’s when the real hell started. I was and always have studied very, very good. But I never thought that people would think that was bad or that I’m cheating.

At that age I was also pretty tall. I’m still pretty tall, but that is because my whole family is, so there wasn’t really an option for me to be short. People in that school were short. There were only a couple of people that were taller than everyone else. I was one of them. So of course people thought it would be fun to make jokes about it and bully me with it. I was constantly called giraffe. I honestly don’t remember a day when I would walk through school and the line “OH LOOK! The tall one is coming!”

would not have been heard. At that time I was insecure about it, but in time I started embracing it.

If anyone would ask me how the weather up there is I would tell them that it is sunny and warm unlike it is down there for them. That was one of my most popular comeback to when people were making fun of me. I was also really thin…But again…it’s in my DNA. So I would also be called anorexic.

   People also called me a nerd because I was a straight A student.

They would throw my stuff around school. They started making fun about me on “Instagram” when I was in 7th grade. They would constantly put me on class group chat and then kick me out.

They would make memes from my pictures. They would film me and take pictures when they are not allowed to.

   Also I started training in  Volleyball in 7th grade and I progressed really fast.

Girls would try to hide my clothes in the showers after sports class. They would put my backpack in the garbage bin. They would tell rumours about me all the time. These were just some of the things that happened.

I did tell my parents, I did go to my class head teacher. You want to know my experience with the school system and bullying?

  THEY DON’T CARE! I literally had a blue eye once because a girl hit me. What did the school do? They sent us to talk to the social teacher. Then we went to the principle. We talked…Like a lot.

WE were supposed to go start talking to the psychologist. But I guess karma did the work on her. At the time when we were supposed to have a meeting with the psychologist she was taken to the hospital. I don’t quite know what was wrong with her though. When she got back we started having these meetings. Did they help? NO! She kept saying that she didn’t hit me even though that was seen by like 12 people. So no progress happened. After they realised that it was not working they took us both to the principle. WE had a long and exhausting talk there. After that she finally calmed down.

    I left that school and got into a sports gymnasium in 8th grade.

My ex classmates made fun about me online, but I’m guessing that is because they were jealous and couldn’t get a life on their own. 

MY last class, my gymnasium class was fantastic. NO arguments happened there.

But I’m guessing that’s because everyone was too busy doing sports and improving and they didn’t have time for that.

   Flash forward to now… I’m in an online school and I love it. I have more time to blog and improve my other skills. I don’t do sports anymore because of an injury.

Does that mean that they stopped bullying me? No. The classmates I had from 5th to 7th grade still try to tear me down. Does it work? No. Because I know that I’m not what they are saying that I am. I know my worth. I work hard to get where I am. I work hard to be who I am and I’m not going to stop because a group of people think I should fail. Some of them even still follow me on social media… I guess they are really obsessed with my life.

  What have I learned? Bullies bully you for one of few reasons…1) they are jealous. 2) They know they can’t be you. 3) You have something or you are do something that they can’t. Does that give them the right to bully you? NO! Does that give them the right to try and kill you with words? NO!

But you have to understand that you are not what they are calling you. You don’t need to prove them anything. You just got to do you and keep on going. Do what you love, show what you are doing to the world, and don’t forget to smile. Trust me. Your enemies hate that.

   So do you! And don’t be ashamed of who you are. Embrace who you are!

It’s such a terrible experience what you’ve gone through but I think everyone can agree that just your amazing and positive attitude. )I also played a little piano when I was in high school and really enjoyed…for a time ). And it just goes to show just what jealousy can do to people, even young children, especially young children. . With the internet at their hands they don’t even realise the terrible obsessions they are bringing to themselves, such as ‘internet stalking’ someone for years, I too have had my fare share of ‘internet stalkers’ and I can say that it never amazes me the amount of free times they’ll make just to check out one of my social medias, or blog posts.

I love your last message at the end! And I find it so amazing that you’ve managed to over come such disgusting treatment. I wish you well with your online course! If you would like to check out any of Madara social pages then click on one of the links below and don’t for get to check out her blog!

Blog – Home page : https://jancenkomadara.wixsite.com/website

Madara’s – Instagram page

Madara’s Twitter – @MJancenko

Madara’s – youtube channel