Taking that un-guilty break from blogging

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Taking that un-guilty break from blogging

In a busy world that never seems to stop or slow down it can often make us feel as though we are behind in our lives, we are constantly out looking to achieve that goal that will get us that one step closer to where we want to be.

And so often because of this we either forget to take little breaks or we choose not to have them, convincing ourselves that it makes us weak in some way or stressing ourselves by thinking of how far behind we will be if we take that little break.

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selfie with cat mug

But at some point we all have to put down out work\activity\project and pick up a cup of tea with maybe a book or two in order to give our minds a little rest. If you are anything like me then you too find it difficult to justify taking a break, to relax without feeling guilty for it. For the sake of our mental health though, it such an incredibly necessary thing to do.

Last week after experiencing a few very difficult few months where my mental health slipped a little, and after making a tweet and receiving some much needed advice… I made the decision not to give up on my dreams, not to let my mental illness and dark cycles take over again and took a week away from blogging.

Day one, I felt incredibly stupid. Thinking to myself, ‘are you seriously going to take a break in the first year of your blogging days? Are you really that breakable that you can’t handle the responsibility, work and stress that comes with blogging? Are you really that weak?’…

Day one, I found myself in a self-hate thought loop.

Day two, was a little better. I was able to break easily from the self-hate thought loop, however the fact that I was able to break from it made me hopeful that the next day would get better. I still didn’t really want to blog, only wanting to do it because I felt like I HAD to and not because I WANTED to.

Day three, was MUCH easier. The self-hate thought loops came less, I was able to actually enjoy my time away from my laptop and enjoy the present moments.

As the days wore on the less guilty I stated to feel and that was mainly because I realised two things in that week;

  1. I notice a big improvement in my mental health. I’ve even managed to gain the most weight this week than I have probably ever and although I have mixed feelings on my body changing, it’s made me feel more positive and hopeful.
  2. Time way gave me time to refocus, re-plan, re-brand (I’ll be doing a post shortly on what I mean about this) and re-approach how I blog. It’s also helped to give me new ideas for new blog posts!

When taking this break I didn’t pick up a book at first, knowing that if I did I would have picked up one of the ones that it’s my TBR pile and I’d probably end up having written up a review on it and posting onto my blog. And so with that in mind I set myself some rules, some boundaries, because the temptation to do something I told myself I wasn’t allowed to. The temptation of carrying on even though it was stressing me beyond even what I realised was ALMOST too much to resist. Don’t get me wrong I have NO self control what so ever and that usually is my biggest flaw but thankfully I have fallen in love with someone who probably has the most self control I’ve ever witness in one person and he helps keep my temptations kept aside so I am able to focus on the bigger picture.

So what did I do to ensure that I would not dive back into blogging?:

  1. I kept my laptop hidden away inside of two bags and placed in the cupboard (yes I am that bad that I have to resort to such lengths to assure I don’t give into temptation).
  2. I started focusing a little more on my candles, how I really want them to look, how I want them to appear, the labelling and picking out the names of them. A lot of that got swiped aside as I was also focusing on how to make my blog and go through with becoming a blogger.
  3. I focused a little more on planning my WIP (Work in progress) and writing more in my notebooks (yes I did mean I had to buy more notebooks, that part actually made me really happy. I’m always happy to have a reason to buy a new notebook or two).
  4. I took a lot more nature walks with my boyfriend as well as spending a lot more quality time with him (rather than sitting in the same room while I work on my blog and he does his thing).
  5. I started to read for pleasure again. A year or two ago I had stopped reading, finding myself unable to focus on the story line any longer I just stopped reading. I lost my love for reading for a while. That was until I read Olga Gibbs fantastic page turning book Heavenward and Hallow. But even then with my love of reading returned to me I didn’t look for books that I wanted to read and I limited myself to reading ONLY books that I was going to review. If I wasn’t reviewing it, then I wasn’t reading it.
  6. Lastly, I’ve started getting back into all the things I used to love when I was younger. (Reading, Writing, writing music, playing the piano, writing my own poems again and tracking my dreams through a dream journal, and so on).

With everything in mind, I’m VERY much aware of how difficult it can be to make the decision to take that break, to let yourself relax and to accept that you can re-grow from your time away.

But when your mental health is suffering, when you find yourself no longer able to enjoy the things you used to, when getting up in the morning feels like a chore again instead of a blessing to be a wake, to be alive and this opportunity to do something new, something different, something fun or exciting. That’s when you need to be able to step back and think to yourself, ‘I need a break,’ and you need to do so without the guilt.

No one should ever feel guilty for looking after themselves, for being able to say stop when they need to. No one should feel guilty for giving your brain that break, your creativity side that much needed rest to refuel.

No one should feel guilty for taking a needed break.

I want to thank everyone who spoke to me, gave me words of encouragement and advice. I could never repay you for your kind words or for helping in stopping me from making probably one of the worst decisions of my life this year.

I came very close to giving up on my dreams and on my blog but with the support from some incredible people and strangely timed WordPress “achievement” that reminded me a year ago on the 10th August 2018 I made a WordPress account and for 2 months even created a free blog site before quickly deleting it due to self-doubt and insecurities.

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1 year Anniversary of having WordPress

This year wasn’t about giving up, that was last year, this year is meant be about fighting the fear and fighting for what I want. The biggest fight will always be with myself but I refuse to let that side of me win any longer, I’m ready to live the life I want.

Like my yearly quote says;

If you can’t fight fear, fight scared.

And that’s exactly what I pan to do.

I also want to thank you all so much for sticking by my side and for taking the time to read my post. I hope everyone has a wonderful week a head of them, and don’t let those Monday Blue’s get you!

P.S – I have a Harry Potter giveaway running on my Facebook page, Instagram and Twitter, where I will be picking not 1 but TWO winners. So be sure to check that out!

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Facebook Page – LittleTinkablee Blog

Instagram – @Littletinkablee

Writing for myself Again

*Blogger Note*
I have never posted a post this late before but before going to bed I wanted to clear a few things up and thank the wonderful people that I have met on twitter for all they encouraging words and amazing support.

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Writing for myself again

As bloggers we want to see our blogs grow and thrive. We all have our own reasoning for wanting this but for me, bigger numbers/bigger viewers mean more people that I could possible help through my blog.

But, while trying to figure out ways to make my blog more attractive for other potential viewers and more interesting I’ve been majorly putting my mental health to the test because the truth is? I’m not all that interesting. I’m useless with technology and find that it annoys me more than I enjoy using it. I have a genuine fear of using technology outside, I won’t use card machines, I now won’t handle a bus ticket on the Arriva Buses as you know have to scan your ticket (I used to avoid getting the card for that reason), I won’t use a self serve till… there’s a lot I won’t do due to fear of it. What if I use it wrong? What if doesn’t work for me and everyone is staring at me? I HATE technology,

When I’m not house bound, I’m out early hours in the morning, or late at night on a walk with my boyfriend and Toby or sometimes we’ll go to a close friends house I have a family member out with me so I can do shopping.

The truth is despite how hard I try and fight my anxiety and all the overwhelming feelings that follow…It still wins. I’ve not figured out how to beat it, I’ve figured out how to have a few good days, sure but. But mostly? I’m riddle with anxiety to the point I am still throwing up in the middle of the days, my legs still go weak, my stomach still turns in knots and it makes it easier for depression to come along and sink it teeth into me.

If you follow me on twitter then you may or may not have seen my tweet that I posted out, one that I do apologise for. I usually try to stray away from social media when I start feeling like that as I don’t really want to be posting my negativity all out there, I want my accounts and blog to be a positive experience for everyone as I know how negative and toxic social media can be.

When my mental illnesses take over, my mental health suffers greatly for it, I end up in a vicious thought loop cycle. I feel so experienced in life, so boring and as though me and my blog has nothing to offer anyone that I get myself questioning why I’m even bothering? Am I even helping anyone? How can I even help people? These are only my words, my thoughts, my feelings…. It’s not anything special and it certainly isn’t anything interesting.

I had a little melt down, I don’t want to go into many details, but after I posted my tweet I retreated to my yoga in the hopes that it would help me…it didn’t. Neither playing with my cats or listening to music or reading, I just couldn’t stop my brain from doing over time enough to focus on the words.

This year I had a focus, a goals for myself. To change my lifestyle in the hopes of creating a more positive life or more positive days. But the past month or two I have failed in doing that.

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My eating has gone back down, I no longer snack, the drinks I’m drinking are more unhealthy than I am drinking healthy drinks, the healthiest drink I’m popping into my body is a glass of water and a glass or two of some kind of smoothie. My weight is back down more again, and what progress I was making in my work outs have all but disappeared because I all but stopped doing them. The only thing I have really kept on top of is my yoga but even that I have had to cut back on due to the lack of eating, so my energy levels have been really low lately.

And my family has been under extreme pressure with my little sister’s back surgery (and although she has/is in a lot of pain, she has been a little trooper), my mums one on the way soon and bunch of other things in the mix, its just been really hard to stay motivated and uplifted or positive.

I’ll be taking the weekend to regroup and refocus on myself and my blog. There are a few changes I want to make to it. I’ll still be doing my book reviews and product reviews but I’m going to be viewing them more as a hobby and I’m going to back to writing for me for a little while.

I’ll also be studying extra hard on my online college course while starting a new college course about crystal healing that I’m really excited about taking.

I’ll still be giving out tester candles to anyone who requests ones (for a free and honest review of course) .

My ‘Let’s Talk Pet Series’ and ‘My Bully Experience’ is still on going to anyone who wants their pets featured on my blog or to share their bully experience (to help inspire and show others that bullies never win, that trolls never win and that all their hate only strives our need to achieve our goals that much more stronger).

To submit your bully experience simply;
Email me at: Littletinkable@gmail.com
-Add your name
– short Bio of you
– Your bully experience
– And any pictures you would like added
-And any social media handles you’d like shared

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your bully experience all you have to do email me;
-Your name if you wish
– A short Bio (if you wish)
-Your bully experience
– Any pictures you would like added

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your bully experience on Littletinkablee then simply;
– Your Name
– A short Bio
-Your Bully experience
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-And any pictures you would like added

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

To submit your pet story simply;
Email me at Littletinkable@gmail.com;
-Add your name
– A short Bio of yourself
– Any websites and/or social media handles
– Your pet Story
-And of course some pet pictures.

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your pet story all you have to do is;
-Your name if you wish
-Your Pet Story
– And some pet pictures

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your pet story on Littletinkablee then simply;
– A short Bio
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-Your name
-And of course pictures!

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

Also My GIVEAWAY is still running and will continue running until Thursday, Friday I’ll pick the winner and Monday I’ll post it off to the lucky person! See my post – Some Bookish/Candle news‘ for more details.

I want to thank everyone who has messaged me and sent me words of encouragement and uplifting/ kind words, I can’t express what that means to me and I’ll forever be grateful for all the kind and amazing people I have met through my short but continued blogging journey. I hope you all have had a better Friday than I did and have a lovely weekends ahead.
Goodnight!