Today is the day we get to find out if we’re having a little girl or little boy and I couldn’t be more nervous and excited at the same time.
I’m so excited to finally know the gender of my little baby but so nervous that there may be problems or complications, it’s been my biggest fear since finding out I was pregnant.
Almost everyone in my life (apart from about three people) who think my baby is going to be a little girl and up until two days ago I whole heartily believe my baby was a girl too. What made me second guess? it was a dream I had on Saturday of my baby sleeping in a moses basket and my baby was a boy in my dream wrapped up in a blue blanket. I remember telling my partner and family that that was my baby telling me he was a boy, especially because I’ve spent most of this pregnancy calling my baby a her as I was that sure then that’s what my baby was going to be. Now? I’m really not sure. Though after my dream I’m now leaning a little bit more over to a boy.
It’s 12:16pm and just under two hours before we get to find out what gender our little one is. So exciting!
I’m not quite sure how, but I made it to a year of blogging!
Today marks my one year Blogiversary and I couldn’t be more proud of myself for sticking with it and making it to my first year of blogging.
My blog wouldn’t be a year old today if it wasn’t for my readers, supporters and followers. Starting a blog hasn’t been easy, and there were moments where I wanted to give in and delete my blog but with the encouragement and support from friends, family, my readers/followers and other amazing bloggers I toughed it out and stuck with it.
And it feels so incredible to be able to say that my blog is now a year old!
Despite the bad start to the year I did manage to find a few good moments through all the bad and even got out a bit to take a few photos. I’ve taken a LOT of photos of the moon already this year as well as of my cats that you can find over on my facebook pages:
Tinkablee Animal Kingdom
I have a lot planned this year and for the following ones a head so I am going to be slightly distance from social media for a little bit however I’ll still be engaging and my messages are still open to those who need it.
I couldn’t thank you all enough for sticking with me and reading through my posts and I hope that you enjoy or find help through my future posts.
It’s so insane to think that we can now close the book on one decade and say goodbye to yet another year so we can start anew for the following decade ahead of us and the years that follow. I never thought I’d make it this far and honestly I’m in shock and proud of myself that I’ve reached this far. I’m proud of my family and everything they have survived this decade and in awe of their ability to pick themselves back up and keep going.
2019 for me has been one of my most peaceful years (mentally…) that I’ve had in far too long a time. Don’t get me wrong it’s still be crazy and I’ve still had a lot of really bad moments but for the first time in my life I was able to focus on the good moments too, enough that the bad hasn’t overridden the good.
If I were to comment on this decade, I would tell you it’s been one of the most insane, crazy, happy, intense, heart-breaking, nerve-wrecking and life changing decade I hope to ever experience.
This year on February 4th 2019 I start this blog! After a year of second guessing and going back on myself I finally went through with what I wanted to do and set out to “write my dreams” instead of letting my mental illnesses win and overrule my life. And it all started with this blog.
Since blogging I’ve been opened to so many amazing opportunities that had been closed off to me before. I’ve gotten to speak to some incredible authors and have come across some amazing book series (one of which helped bring me out of my year long reading slump: Heavenward by Olga Gibbs) and my review you can read here on my blog!
I can’t wait to see what opportunities are brought to me in 2020!
2019 blogging has also helped me with my own mental state, it’s helped me to understand a some of my mental illnesses and open my eyes to things I never even thought about when thinking about my mental illness. It’s also helped me to learn and understand about other’s and all the other different types of mental illnesses there are out there.
It’s been a great way to track and log my progress and although I’ve not done as much of that as I had planned last year, this year, I’m hoping to change that and open up more through my blog.
I’ve learnt new things about myself this year that I don’t think I would have ever realised or noticed before without starting this blog, It’s helped in my confidence and its made me even more motivated to write my novel, to go out there and become a psychologist and to have my blog running steadily through that time. I’m more motivated now than ever to go after what I want no matter what’s standing in my way, I know my worth and value and nothing and nobody is going to stop me for achieving the future I want for myself.
I even went on a few adventures with my love and little Toby (one of which I think I’ve written about on my blog) and even had Bella and Brad join a few (Bella is one of Toby’s best friends!). On one of my adventures with Dan we came across a really beautiful butterfly that even kept still long enough for me to snap a few picture of it! It was such a relaxing and wonderful day of walking about in nature and away from people.
2019 wasn’t just a great year for the start of my blogging life, it also became a great year for my health. I became a year free of smoking, I had gotten into my yoga practice a lot more, started a few new workouts and I had even managed to start eating more and gained weight for the first time in a years. Overall this year I have felt the healthiest I have in far too long.
My mental health has also improved a little in 2019, I noticed I’ve had less break-down, less blow outs, I’ve managed to find a new coping method that helps me to manage my emotions a little better. They still get the better of me and I’ve not gotten complete control over them, but now I FINALLY have a way to gain at least a little control which is a big step for me.
2019 brought me inner peace.
2019 I learnt to let go of a lot of my negative emotions and thinking. I finally feel a peaceful in myself that I’ve been trying desperately to obtain for what seems like my whole life, I’m not feeling that constant war within myself that I’m usually battling with on a daily basis, I haven’t managed to rid myself of it completely but the feeling is there less now. Because of this a lot of my personal relationships have gotten better and I wouldn’t change that fact for the world.
unfortunately as usual with me I’ve ‘fallen off the wagon’ as the saying has goes and I’ve gotten myself stuck into a few old bad habits again, I’ve stopped eating and lost the weight I gained and due to my not eating I’ve decided to stop all exercising – not wanting to risk anymore weight loss than I’m already experiencing.
A lot happened in 2019:
Loki was born had his first Halloween and Christmas with us.
My sister and mum had big operations and are still recovering incredibly well from them.
I attempted Camp NaNoWriMo2019
My Kitt-Katt became a little senor cat this year
My little sister turn 16!
My little brother turned 13!
I did yoga with my little sister
I took my sisters to a Pusheen event in early celebration of my little sister’s 16th birthday
I was finally able to dye my last little sister’s hair for the first time. (It’s like a right of passage in my house)
I found out that the vets didn’t neuter one of my cats properly and caught him spraying out in the garden (luckily he’s too much of a good boy to do it in the house)
I also found out that my little Bear – who is two now – is Oreo’s son
I still haven’t gotten over how much Gizmo looks like her dad (my kitt-katt)
I met Cloud (My friends new kitten)
Spirit went to a new home and became best friends with his new brother Cloud
Spirit passed away a few months before Christmas
I’ve connected with myself
I’ve dyed my hair purple
Was blonde for a day
Then dyed my hair orange
Worked on myself and actually made progress!
I’ve baked a little in 2019
Spent many late nights working on blog post
Spent many more late nights working on my novel
My mums cat went missing for a week so I spent that week climbing over her garden wall into the wilderness behind calling her, leaving food, tuna, treats, and her cat carry (she’s obsessed with it for some reason) until she finally made her way back home to my mum.
I’ve learnt a lot about myself in 2019
Experienced some extremely frosty mornings but no snow…
And entered the 7th new year with my Dan
Now that we are in 2020 it’s time to give up those bad habits again and focus on my health. I plan on getting back into my yoga practice as well as my work outs and hopefully eating a bit more food on a regular basis.
I also have plans to get out a bit more and to complete another online course for my psychology. My mum got me a new camera for Christmas so I’ll probably be taking a LOT of pictures while testing it out and getting a feel for it (I can’t wait! I’ve already used it a few times for some cat pictures and moon pictures – I a little moon mad :P).
I plan on taking this year a little slower in the hopes that it will help me work through my messy mind and bring to life all the ideas that are cramped inside. I have a lot of hope for this decade, I lot things I’m hoping to see come to pass.
I also have a few book reviews that I was meant to get through in 2019 but either unfortunately forgot about them (it’s what happens if I’m sent them online rather than in physical form – unfortunately its out of sight out of mind with me as my memory is awful – or simply just haven’t been able to get round to them yet but I’m not taking on any more book review until I’ve gotten through and posted the ones that I was hoping to have out before the start of 2020.
Before I leave this post and wish you all a great year and a great start to a new decade I just want to thank everyone who has helped me, supported me and stuck by me through these months. I’ve almost made it to a full year of blogging! And it wouldn’t have happened with out your support and encouragement and there are just a few blogs I want to leave everyone with the option of checking out.
These bloggers are some phenomenal, creative and inspiring people that has helped me through my own journey of blogging, mental wellness and recovery and I know that a lot of my viewers would either love or benefit hugely from checking these bloggers blogs out. –
This isn’t your typical/ usual post for me. This is message, a love poem, a love song, or whatever you want to call, for a soul so great it sweep mine off it’s feet.
Today is a special day, it’s the day my boyfriend grows a year older. Today is a day for celebrating life, more importantly celebrating such a wonderful soul. I’ll soon be joining you in the world of 22 in a month time!
Firstly, I’ll start this post off by saying a BIG, Happy Birthday to the love of my life, Dan.
I know you all may be wondering why I am not just wishing him a happy birthday in person, I am and will do so later. But writing a typical blog post today didn’t feel right, especially since this blog wouldn’t have even happened if it wasn’t for his help. So it only felt right, that my blog too wished him the biggest of happy birthdays!
He has helped me in more ways than I ever could explain, he has pushed me, motivated and driven me to want to be a better me, all while protecting me and caring for me when I’ve needed it. He’s be my biggest silent supporter and without his support I don’t think my blog would have ever came to be.
Meeting such a strong soul such as my Dan has entirely changed my life, I feel as though upon meeting him I had been opened up to a whole knew world. At first he was mysterious and exciting but then quickly became my safe zone, my cornerstone, my heart and home wrapped up in a human package.
He’s has shown me a love so deep I could never go back to the love I once thought I knew as love. I never would have dreamt that I would find you so early on in life and although it hasn’t always been perfect, I wouldn’t want to change a moment that we have spent together. The good, the bad and the ugly, I’ll take it all as long I have this magnificent soul by my side through it all.
When you are in such a long and committed relationship we can let slip the things that made us first drawn to our partners. The little things we use to notice can sometime become things that then annoy us, the more time we spend with that special someone the more we forget that we are spending time with a special someone and we can let the small silly things come between our relationship at times.
We can forget to capture the a moment in our memories for a later date, we forget to laugh a joke, we forget to humour our partner and we can forget to smile, laugh, play, and enjoy the company we have.
Every new year with this amazing soul is always a new adventure for me and I can’t wait to see the many more adventures the future has in store for us. I count myself lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend, I love growing with him and learning new things, everything is always excited even on the slow and boring days.
And no one has shown me the care and love that he does. So, if you ever read this post Dan, just know you have me. Heart, body and soul. And I can’t wait to share another birthday and along with many more season/holidays/special occasions with you.
I’m a writer. I’ve lived and breathed words my entire life and yet I have never come across a word or sentence that describe the love, appreciation and adoration I have for this amazing man but I’ll be happy to spend the rest of outlives making sure he knows just how deeply I love him, on the good days and bad. I wouldn’t change a moment with him.
You can find out more about our little adventures and daily life by following my Instagram – @Littletinkablee