Nicotine and Napalm – Book Review

I was sent a beautifully covered book by the lovely author Emily Priest to read and review for free. I would like to state before starting my book review, like all my reviews (books or otherwise) I give my full honest opinion and would never suggest something to my readers/viewer that I didn’t fully enjoy myself.

With that being said, free products or books will not change my opinion, good or bad.

Nicotine and Napalm by Emily Priest.

Poetry book
Nicotine and Napalm by Emily Priest

About Emily Priest

Emily Priest 

Author, Poetess, journalist
Emily Priest

Emily was born in Southampton in 1997 but moved to Portsmouth in 2016 to study creative and media writing at Portsmouth University.

There she refined her writing and developed as a professional -building and extensive portfolio of creativity, journalism, radio and marketing. Emily was also awarded a ‘young journalist’ award in 2017 from unity 101 and then went on to publish her work in 2018 in several publications

Synopsis/Commentary


Emily Priest’s first compilation, Nicotine and Napalm, is a raw and unflinching exploration of love and loss. This collection of prose and poetry is one woman’s account of growing up in the modern world and her own discovery of sexuality, strength and weakness.

poetry Book
by Emily Priest 
Book Review by #littletinkablee

I’ll start off by saying that this wonderful creation of compiled poetry has received a 5/5 start rating from me.

When I had received Emily’s book I was instantly in love with the cover. If you have read my ‘Bookish Confessions’ by the amazing @BethTabler you’ll know that I have been guilty of “judging a book by it’s cover.” I can’t help but appreciate and be drawn to an attractive looking book, I’m only human after all!

Diving into Emily’s series of poems I was instantly captivated by the by the beautifully placed words and although tragic and full of heartache there was a beauty in these words that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

This is the kind of book I would want my sisters and friends to read, something I believe should be placed into high school libraries for young girls to get their hands on and read. There are so many messages and hidden meanings in this amazingly put together poetry book that young girls and women can relate to, messages that young girls need to hear, need to know while learning to grow and love.

Book review by #littletinkablee

Poetry Book by Emily Priest

Emily has shown that she is nothing but audacious when it comes to her writing, showing and expression in such depth emotion of the love gained and loss through her journey of sexuality and self discovery.

And, she has inspired me to get back into writing my own poetry!

If you love poetry, love, heartbreak, self-discovery, passion, raw emotions… then this is something for you, this is one book you do not want to miss out on reading and enjoying. I’m so honoured to have read and experienced Emily’s emotions through her poetry and I have to admit there were a few line, especially towards the end that had the taps in my eyes running on full.

You can purchase or download your copy of Nicotine and Napalm right here! And don’t for get to check out Emily’s social medias!

Overall this beautifully written poetry book is something I would recommend to everyone of my female friends, family, blogging fam and strangers!

I hope this has inspired you to check out her book and read it for yourself! If there was one book, one piece of poetry that I had to recommend to the world, it would be this poetry book without hesitation.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and as always I appreciate any comments or shares that I receive on all my posts and I wish you all a lovely week!

Bully Experience

Now if there is something in this world I can say without a shadow of a doubt I hate, it’s bullies. People who think and feel the need to tear down another person self-esteem and little world just to make themselves feel important and better than the other person.

People who think its okay to ruin the lives of others for your own person gain, not caring about the mental damage you are creating to that person. To the girls who think its “hard” and “cool” to walk around talking and acting like men , to the girls who feel the need to pick on all those pretty girls for having the right mindset and self-esteem built into them, to walk through their high school doors with no make up on or modification to their appearance. This is for the girls who feel its okay to pick on girls they feel haven’t done their make up right or expresses themselves differently and for the ones who think depression, suicide and self harm is a game or a cute little character trait.

This is for the boys who think its cool to hang around the younger kids, the ones who think its fine to corrupt them and make them think that being you is what they should aspire to be. This is to the boys who think its hard to beat a person, physically or mentally until they can no longer stand to see themselves in the mirror or even stand to be alive.

This if for the insecure bullies who try pointing and picking on people for having a flaw that you can’t stand about yourself, this is for the people who think its their life mission to make others around them feel as though they do. To make them feel small and unworthy to even live the life gifted to them.

You do not get anywhere by making yourself look “hard” or “cool”. Beating a person up just to look harder than the others is possibly one of dumbest things I have ever witnessed while growing up. To be that insecure about yourself that you need to put yourself out there so strongly as a person who shouldn’t be messed with? It just screams help. It screams to me that there are things going on that maybe you should be address properly and to a professional rather than taking your hurt/anger/pain out on others.

To obsess yourself over a person so much to make them hate themselves or want to kill themselves…that’s crazy behaviour, that is the type of thing that I would look for in a sociopath and to me that is all bullies are. Sociopaths.

It seems to me that bullies these days have managed to desensitise themselves from pretty much all emotions and thoughts regarding other people. The only time they feel what they think is a slither of happiness is when they’ve ruined someone else’s.

I used think of bullies as victims. Victims of circumstance and of bad upbringing or a lack of parenting on someone’s (or both) part. Now I’m really divided on the matter as I have come across bullies like that, who weren’t ever really shown what love, care or loyalty was so they express what they know which is what has always truly broken my heart about bullies. I know that they have been deeply wronged to have become so twisted, however I have also come across bullies who you wouldn’t think would be one, one’s with the opposite life from a hard upbringing.

In primary school I remember a particular bully I had to deal with. It was right after moving to Liverpool for the first time (so I was around 6-7 years old) and there was this little girl who was in all my classes and would follow me around on the school yard. She’d go out of her way to try and say nasty things to which I’d always respond with, “I’m telling my mam on you!” Before walking a way and finding others to play with. She didn’t particularly have any friends as she was always lashing out at people and the other kids were scared and intimidated by her.

One day she had come to school with a broken leg and wasn’t allowed outside during break times. Just as we were reaching our first break of the day, I had been approached by a teacher informing me that (Let’s call the girl Marie) Marie had requested that I be the person to stay with her during her breaks.

Now at first I didn’t know how to feel about that as I didn’t like being around the girl, she was a little horror at the time. But told the teacher that I would any way as I don’t do well with being asked things on the spot (Something I’m still working on). Anyway once the teacher left me to tell Marie the news I asked around the class room to see what the other kids thought and to see if maybe someone would take my place.

No one wanted to stay in during their break and no one really wanted to spend their break around the school bully and thus left me either telling the teacher I no longer wanted to or suck it up and follow through with my word.

I really don’t like breaking my word and so once I have agreed to something I like to follow through on it any way I can. I also had my mums voice in the back of my mind telling me not to judge people to harshly, that you never know what’s going on in their lives, plus I really couldn’t believe that she was acting like this for no reason at all. There had to be something making her want to lash out at people, a reason she was so angry all the time. The breaks were spent in silence as neither one of us knew what to say to each other. Eventually I got fed up of spending my breaks in awkward silence and decided to try and make conversation with her.

For a few month I done that, spending my breaks with the school bully, answering my friends question when they’d ask me what happened or what was it like spending all your breaks with Marie with “It’s not so bad.” We’d make small conversation and when the time came where she could have her cast removed the bullying had pretty much stopped (for me). I still spent some of time arguing with her when she was picking someone else when I was walking by but after that she pretty much left me alone and carried on about her business of being the school yard bully.

A good few years, 4-5 new houses and school later we ended up in the same high school. The girl had clearly not strayed from her bullying streak and even seemed to have gotten worse with it. One day we both had P.E together (one of the rare occasions that I would bring in my P.E kit) the teacher decided that we’d play football that day.

Marie seemed to be in a particularly bad mood and everyone was trying to keep a distance and not set her off. However she was started to really P*ss me off when she was kicking the ball as hard as she could at everyone. I started to do the same back to her which led to her saying an off had comment. I’d started walking towards her by this point and was asking what her problem was, Everyone had stopped trying (or should I say pretend as none of us other than a small few actually want) to play football and was watching us probably expecting a fight as that’s usually how confrontations went with Marie and just in general is how kids would deal with their confrontations as at that age everyone is to crazy-ed on their own hormones that they forget the fact they have a brain that could be used just as effectively.

However all we done was a bit of back and forth shouting at each other, I had eventually told her to go somewhere else to cool off because she was looking like a hot headed fool at the time and then the teacher came over. Me and Marie spoke a little after that, apologised and even became friends at one point before we both ended up going to different schools again and different directions again.

Through the time in trying to get to know her and befriend her I had come to learn that she had a really hard life back at home. Things were going on and had gone on that I couldn’t even imagine, things that would make me angry too.

After meeting her, it really made me take three steps back from people and view everyone as someone who has something going on. So when someone around me is angry or upset instead of responding with the same emotions as them as I’d like to or would have done, I step back and remember bad days happen and everyone has sh*t going on.

I’ve also come a cross a bully that hit anything in her path, no words needed or was said before she’d attack someone. This was coming from a girl who had a fairly normal up bringing, who pushed her family aside and decided that the street life suited her best.

Of course bullying doesn’t just happen with terrible words and painful jabs, it can be done by making people believe you are something you are not, they suck you in and make you believe that they are this sad person who just needs help, love and care. And so you give them that and you keep giving until you either have nothing left or they want the last thing you aren’t willing to give them. Bullying comes in all shapes and forms, physically, emotionally to mentally. I’ve had it all, I’ve been pushed past my limits and I’ve pushed through it all, as I will continue to do and show others they can too!

It’s when meeting people like that, that I question whether I am right to think all bullies are victims? Is it the internet? The fact we are so open to so much suffering and becoming desensitised too soon? It it the upbringing or is just something as simple as an evil personality? What makes bullies, become a bully. What makes them think they have the right to do something like that?

I’m sure we’ve all done and said things to someone that we regret, something that’s made us look like the bullies. But to dedicate day in and day out to do it, for years in or out of school? It’s just not normal, it’s not normal to obsess over the lives of others and attack someone just because you want what they have or you are jealous of them.

And to my siblings bullies, you can say hurtful words, you may even break them for a moment of your time but they are surrounded by loving and supportive people who won’t let the likes of low lives get to them the way you are trying to. The more bad days you try to give them the more good days we are determined to show them.

Bullies won’t break people. And it’s time they realised that, its time they realised that by trying to make someone a victim you are just making yourself look like a victim of bad personal circumstance

Please feel free to comment, share and like this post, don’t forget to subscribe to my email list and I hope you enjoyed reading. More than anything though I hope you can take something from my experiences and apply them to your day to day life whether that’s not to judge people (even those who hurt us), whether it’s to forgive those who hurt us or maybe this has made you realise that you have not been the best person you can be and it’s changed how you look at the bad. Either way I hope to see you all back again on my next post!

Foe under cover – when friends turn

Freshman Year of High School

 My name is Karalee, and I am 25 years old. I am from Texas, but I currently live in Denmark. I have a three-year-old daughter, and my blog Tales of Belle focuses on beauty, books, and lifestyle.

    At the start of my freshman year of high school, I ate lunch with a group of friends who I have known since junior high. We were in the same class during the lunch break therefore it made sense to eat lunch together. However, things quickly changed. Every day during lunch, my friends would tell me I am fat and make fun of me while I was eating my lunch. I tried to laugh it off because how could my friends be so mean to me? As the days went on, my friends continued to bring my self-esteem down,

I ended up feeling horrible about myself, but I tried to stick around hoping that my friends would go back to the way they used to be. They did not.

   One day I decided I had enough of my friends bringing me down.

I realised that if they were my real friends, they would not constantly call me fat.

During that lunch break, instead of sitting with my normal friends, I went up to another one of my friends in my class and asked him if I could eat lunch with him. He did not mind, and for the first time since starting high school I felt accepted.

Instead of him making fun of me, we talked about normal friend things.

For the rest of the school year, I ate lunch with him instead of my “fake friends”.

   However, things did not stop there. My ex-friends noticed I was no longer eating lunch with them, and when they would try to talk to me, I ignored them because I decided for my self-esteem it would be best to not socialise with people who constantly brought me down. Shortly after I had started eating lunch with my guy friend, my ex-friends started a rumour about me. They decided to tell our mutual friends that I was pregnant and my guy friend was the father.

I was in shock. Not only did my ex-friends bring my self-esteem down to rock bottom, but they started a rumour that was the furthest from the truth.

I was a virgin at the time and me and my guy friend were just friends. Luckily, our mutual friends realised the truth, and the rumour died quickly.

   Even though I went through a horrible experience in high school, I was able to realise who my real friends were, and I remained friends with them for the rest of high school while I distanced myself from ex-friends. Without my real friends including my guy friend who I ate lunch with during my freshman year, I would probably have a difficult time moving on from the experience of being bullied. It did take me the rest of high school to feel confident in myself again,

but my friends were constantly there to bring me up, and by the time I started college I could finally say I love myself.

Kids really can be horrible one another at times, especially when jealous hits them. I think this experience can who others just how deceiving people can be and I have met first hand some people who may have came across as lovely or nice and then turned out the be more than the exact opposite.

I’m so glad that you’re guy friend could help through such a difficult time, even while he was thrown into their silly little games, some people cower from that sort of thing and when a person can stand tall for both you through it… I think it’s safe to say that’s a true friend right there. I also think its wonderful that you had friends that didn’t scum to your ex-friends silly ways.

You’re experience and the way you handle it reminds me of quote about strength and courage;

A truly strong person does not need the approval of other’s anymore than a lion needs the approval of sheep.

Vernon Howard

Because it takes a lot of strength and courage to estrange yourself from people you once thought of as friends and to stick your ground when they get so cruel, you should be proud of the girl you was back then as she has helped you transform into the woman you are today.

Click here, if you would like to check out Karalee’s beautiful blog @Talesofbelle and read her latest blog post, ‘The Haunting Of Hill House Book Review.’

I would like to thank Karalee and everyone else who has so far taken part in the ‘My Bully Experience.’ If you would like to get involved or take part in some way (you can be completely anonymous in sharing your story if you aren’t comfortable with sharing who you are while sharing these experiences) You can send me an email with a short Bio (or not) any links to blogs/pages/social media’s , any pictures and of course you’re experience with either online/real life bulling, trolling or stalking.

If you’d like to read more ‘my bully experience’ stories then you ‘ click here ‘ and read the other brave yet inspiring stories written by amazing people who have overcome such terrible treatment off other’s.

Stop writing Anxiety off as something small and minor!

This is a topic that has affected my life in more than one way, it’s something that creeps up on you and takes a hold of you without you even realising.

I am of course talking about Anxiety. The silent bully living in your head. I’ve been suffering from anxiety for far too long . I have spent many, many years trying to rid myself of this or beat this… sickness. I have managed to overcome it in many ways, while it has still managed to destroy me in many other ways.

I am so sick and tired of people treating anxiety as something as little as the common cold, something you just have to deal with until it goes away on it own because that’s not how it works, that’s not what anxiety feels like.

Anxiety for me tears into me every second of everyday, I wake up with it and go to bed with it, it’s become a full time house mate that I’ve never even wanted. It affects my mobility to move around and function as that of a normal person, my legs turn to jelly, i feel a though I’m floating out of my body and allowing something heavy and terrible take over.

Sometimes it creates an invisible wall, stopping me from moving, from going any further and continuing on, on my journey. It has stopped me from leaving my house for a little over two years and although I have overcome that part of my anxiety there are still far too many days I find myself not being able to leave the house.

I can get sick, I can start to shake until people start getting concerned that I’m going to take off like a rock in space. I loose sense of where I am because I end up so focused on the feelings it’s pulsing through me. It takes over me completely until I feel like am nothing but Anxiety.

And i’m so sick and tired of people thinking its nothing because there are ‘worse things out there’. Perhaps there is but those are not what’s ruining and taking over my life, Anxiety is, Anxiety has.

So many people suffer with this and yet don’t acknowledge it, they try sweeping it under the rug in the hopes that it will go away. Well I tried that one for years and Anxiety has still won over parts of my life, to this day it still attacks me and stops me from doing things I want to do most.

Anxiety makes you feel so useless and unworthy of even being around at times. I look at those who are able to over come the anxiety they have it makes me cry, although I’m happy for them and proud of them for being able to over come it, it makes me feel even weaker knowing my Anxiety is still controlling every aspect of my life.

People need to stop being so judgemental, watching and judging someone else’s life for what? because why? What does it matter if someone has anxiety, depression, BPD, SPD, extreme suicidal thoughts? What does their struggles have to do with you? Why do people feel the need to place them into categories that in their eyes matter most, because you don’t suffer or was able to over come your mental issue?

When are people going to wake up and realise that WE ARE DIFFERENT and that means dealing with different things in different ways, it means having something a little more sever than others, it means some people get lucky and don’t have to go through anything like this. It means that for others their problems really are all that big to them and trying to make them seem like nothing just makes the person feel like they are nothing. You are helping their problem take hold by making them feel as though they have no one to turn to, no one that understands.

I guess the point of today’s post is this, leave people be. If you aren’t out to help them, then leave them. Stop comparing things to other things all the time and remember that everyone deals with things differently, some people are handed a better hand than others, that doesn’t give you the right to make someone feel small because life has handed them something that seems bigger than it may actually be. In their world, it may be just as big as your problems may seem small in someone else world.

Try and be that positive voice in strangers day, be the positive impact in those you care for lives. Life is unpredictable, you never know what it’s going to throw you. So stop making it harder on yourselves and others around you.

Stop making people feel bad for having anxiety, stop thinking its something so little that it’s basically laughable to most people when its mentioned. Anxiety can hit anyone at any time, it doesn’t discriminate against ANYTHING or ANYONE and one day you could end up with such sever anxiety you’ll find yourself regretting ever second you thought anxiety didn’t mean much, that anxiety was something as little as a common cold.

Try and enjoy the life you have, find ways to make it better and help make other’s feel a little better. Kindness doesn’t cost a thing, so spread that free love and leave the hate and leave the negativity behind you.