Nicotine and Napalm – Book Review

I was sent a beautifully covered book by the lovely author Emily Priest to read and review for free. I would like to state before starting my book review, like all my reviews (books or otherwise) I give my full honest opinion and would never suggest something to my readers/viewer that I didn’t fully enjoy myself.

With that being said, free products or books will not change my opinion, good or bad.

Nicotine and Napalm by Emily Priest.

Poetry book
Nicotine and Napalm by Emily Priest

About Emily Priest

Emily Priest 

Author, Poetess, journalist
Emily Priest

Emily was born in Southampton in 1997 but moved to Portsmouth in 2016 to study creative and media writing at Portsmouth University.

There she refined her writing and developed as a professional -building and extensive portfolio of creativity, journalism, radio and marketing. Emily was also awarded a ‘young journalist’ award in 2017 from unity 101 and then went on to publish her work in 2018 in several publications

Synopsis/Commentary


Emily Priest’s first compilation, Nicotine and Napalm, is a raw and unflinching exploration of love and loss. This collection of prose and poetry is one woman’s account of growing up in the modern world and her own discovery of sexuality, strength and weakness.

poetry Book
by Emily Priest 
Book Review by #littletinkablee

I’ll start off by saying that this wonderful creation of compiled poetry has received a 5/5 start rating from me.

When I had received Emily’s book I was instantly in love with the cover. If you have read my ‘Bookish Confessions’ by the amazing @BethTabler you’ll know that I have been guilty of “judging a book by it’s cover.” I can’t help but appreciate and be drawn to an attractive looking book, I’m only human after all!

Diving into Emily’s series of poems I was instantly captivated by the by the beautifully placed words and although tragic and full of heartache there was a beauty in these words that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

This is the kind of book I would want my sisters and friends to read, something I believe should be placed into high school libraries for young girls to get their hands on and read. There are so many messages and hidden meanings in this amazingly put together poetry book that young girls and women can relate to, messages that young girls need to hear, need to know while learning to grow and love.

Book review by #littletinkablee

Poetry Book by Emily Priest

Emily has shown that she is nothing but audacious when it comes to her writing, showing and expression in such depth emotion of the love gained and loss through her journey of sexuality and self discovery.

And, she has inspired me to get back into writing my own poetry!

If you love poetry, love, heartbreak, self-discovery, passion, raw emotions… then this is something for you, this is one book you do not want to miss out on reading and enjoying. I’m so honoured to have read and experienced Emily’s emotions through her poetry and I have to admit there were a few line, especially towards the end that had the taps in my eyes running on full.

You can purchase or download your copy of Nicotine and Napalm right here! And don’t for get to check out Emily’s social medias!

Overall this beautifully written poetry book is something I would recommend to everyone of my female friends, family, blogging fam and strangers!

I hope this has inspired you to check out her book and read it for yourself! If there was one book, one piece of poetry that I had to recommend to the world, it would be this poetry book without hesitation.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and as always I appreciate any comments or shares that I receive on all my posts and I wish you all a lovely week!

Adventure’s with Dan

So today I’m posting a completely different post from what I was going to do yesterday as my mental health as been decreasing and spiralling into a whole new direction making me feel wrong, off balance and just really not at all my self right now.

Yesterday it really hit me hard and unexpectedly. Feeling as though something was crushing down on me and like I wasn’t good enough for anything or anyone,
Uncontrollable crying and anger at feeling so down for no reason, it just makes me feel as though I’m not in control of my self and there is no scarier feeling than feeling as though you have no control over yourself what so ever, feeling as though your emotions calls the shots and in turn calling the shots on my thoughts. It’s scary, it’s sad, exhausting and it’s something that plagues me daily.

I really didn’t think yesterday was going to be in anyway good, as soon as I’d woken up I’d pretty much already had it in my head that today was going to be a bad day and nothing stops a bad day from happening… or so I thought.

Seeing me so upset, my boyfriend decided to make it his mission to make me feel better and to put a smile on my face. He suggested we go for one of our little adventures (We haven’t been on one for a while), enjoy the warm day we had ahead of us and to take some new pictures which is something he knows I love to do and can get lost in to doing for hours. Taking pictures has always been therapeutic for me, being away from people has always been my main goal in life, I’m not a people person, more of an animal/nature kinda girl and my boyfriend knew this and knew exactly where to take me to distract me from…. well myself.

We jumped over a little lake, walked through a massive field and entered some wooded area’s where we came across so many beautiful flowers (mainly blue bells) and other’s pretty plants. We also got attack by a LOT of fly while walking around which I can’t really say I enjoyed however the fun of trying to escape them and find a clear area from those flies was rather fun.

We climbed over fallen down tree’s, broken walls, massive pipes and avoided as many nettles and stingy plants that we could. Considering how many nettles and stingy plants there were I was surprised and impressed that we’d only got stung once each. When I was a child and I used to explore like that I was forever getting stung by nettles and it became a habit to carry about dock leaves where ever I went. I’d be that strange child making her way to the woods picking up the really massive dock leaves as I went by because I knew at some point I’d get stung by a nettle.

My Dan holding up the big dock leaf

Yesterday was the first time my boyfriend had come across a dock leaf so big which I thought was crazy because a girl that got stung daily when she was younger I’ve come across some really BIG dock leaves but the pure simple joy on his face instantly melted my heart and I needed to get a picture of him and this big dock leaf, and that’s exactly what I did. I took another picture this time of the love of my life standing in nature with pure joy on his face. It’s moments likes these I want to capture forever, and never forget.

We also came a cross a really old vodka bottle, a really old packet of Space Raiders crisp from 2009 and what looked to be an old street that nature had claimed back. There was an old gate with an old auction sign on there and behind the gate where the house would have once been was nothing, no sign of a house once being there other than the gate and the auction sign. There was also a set of really old bollards that still had the Liver Bird print on them. It really did look to be an old street that had been abandoned, forgotten and nature was able to reclaim it back.

After we explored the area a little longer we left to go back home, walking passed the same massive filed and jumping over the same lake we entered the smaller filed again only this time we spotted a really big butterfly. I’ve never been one into butterfly I’ve always personally found them to be ugly and creepy and felt people just got to distracted by their colourful/patterned wings and couldn’t see it for the buggy looking creature it was. HOWEVER! This butterfly will be the only one I will ever say I found to be beautiful and not just the wings but everything about it was beautiful, although it was the beautiful wings that drew me in…

It was big, like really big. With two massive light brown wings with two red looking eyes on top and two purple looking big eyes at the bottoms, this butterfly instantly captured our attention.

The best it I could get at the time!

I tried my hardest to get a really good picture of it but it wouldn’t let me close enough to do and so after a few failed attempts it flew away leaving me in awe and disappointment that I couldn’t get the picture I wanted. We had some food and a half hour break before we walked across a different field and into a smaller wooded area that was just in front of an old butterfly reserve. My boyfriend could see how disappointed I was at not being able to take the picture I wanted and thought maybe we’d spot a few over there that I could take pictures of.

But there wasn’t a single one, there flies and horses and so many bugs crawling about but no butterflies. We then decided to go meet up with a friend and his dog since for this adventure we had decided to take Toby with us and made our way back out. On our way back my boyfriend spotted what appeared to be the same big butterfly and after following it and trying to take a few picture I realised quickly it was EXACTLY the same one. What were the chances!

This time I was more than determined to take a picture of this butterfly who too seemed fascinated with us as every time we got too close it would fly away only to fly right back by us again. Almost as if it didn’t want to move away from us but was scared of what we wanted to do but eventually it seemed as though the butterfly no longer thought our intentions were to harm it because it randomly fly up into the air and then landed on a perfectly clear patch of ground surround by the fields grass.. Ever so slowly I started to take pictures as I walked as slowly and softly as I could to the butterfly. I eventually almost ended up laying on my stomach trying to get a close up of this butterfly without it flying away from me but I apparently didn’t need to fear that because It didn’t move once! When my camera got too close to it, it did hide it’s wings from me a few times but when I’d move back a little the butterfly would open its wings back up to me.

That butterfly was the highlight of my day but being around my boyfriend is what’s truly made it special and so enjoyable. Without him I probably would have had one of the worst days this month and I there isn’t enough words or emotions in the world to describe how thankful I am for him and the things he does for me. For the way he handles me at my worst and manages to make things seem better.

I’ve said it from the start and I’ll say it till the end. I love my boyfriend, more than he probably knows and I never want him to change who he is because it’s who he is that I fell in love with, it’s who he is that my soul is drawn to.

If anyone else is going through a tough time this month/year please feel free to dm, message or email me. I’m always a listening ear for those who needs one, I’m not a judge and so you won’t receive any judgement from me only encouraging words, (hopefully) helpful advice and probably a lot of great quotes.

Please don’t forget to like, comment, share and follow my blog!

To the strong woman who raised me…Thank you!

Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best person for buying presents, I stress over them too much and end up settling so as to avoid feeling bad if the person doesn’t like the gift I bought. And despite working on becoming an author and full time writer, I’m also not the best with words ( The irony isn’t lost on me either ).

I suppose I’m good with writing my words down, but to actually try and voice them out? You have a better chance at me crying gold than expressing myself properly. I never feel as though the words I say and the gifts I buy does justice on just how thankful me and my siblings are to have such a strong and independent woman raising us. So I wanted to instead dedicate a blog post to the one woman in my life that has shown me no matter how dark a day may seem, no matter how hopeless you may find yourself, there is reason to keep pushing forwards. She has shown me not to let others dictate what I do, she’s taught me not to let the opinions of others get to you (good or bad) as that is all they are, opinions not facts.

My beautiful mother after her first operation

So without further a due I would like to start of by saying… Thank you, mam. Thank you for being the mum we needed, thank you for being the dad that wouldn’t be there and for being the shoulder to cry on through hard times. Thank you for becoming out best friends so we felt comfortable enough to confined in you when we needed to as I was aware of just how rare that was when I was younger.

I used to have a lot of people feeling bad for me when they realised that it was just my mum that raised me but what they didn’t realise was that I also felt bad for them because they would never have the same bond or connect with their mother as I do with mine. It baffled me when girls would tell me the things they kept from their mum and I’d be sat there like…she’s the first person to hear about this stuff. I remember being in year 7 and I still used the threat of “I’m going to tell my mum on you!” whenever I had a problem with someone. To me, my mum was the baddest most invisible person you could ever come across, the best person to have on your side and the worst person to have as an enemy of any kind. And it doesn’t matter how much older I get, what the world has to shown me and the things that we experience, I still think that about her to this day, probably more so now than I ever did then.

Watching and being able to understand all that she has gone through, all that she is going through and all that is willing to go through just for her children makes me proud to tell everyone that woman right there, she’s my mum and she’s my dad and best friend wrapped up into one perfectly imperfect woman. I wouldn’t change a single crazy, wacky, Gothic trait my mum has in her body.

Mam you are always the voice of reason, the calm in our storm, the best friend we all so desperately seek out and the best mother anyone could ask for. Watching you go through what you have and still coming out on top (even when it may not seem like it) is one of the most inspiring things that we get to witness daily from you. And I know that it is you, your strength and no nonsense attitude that has helped Courtney into becoming the young woman she is today, through your strength she was able to to find her own and harness that to her advantages. You have help Jod become the amazing and caring mother she is today, living with such a protective mother you are unconsciously giving her the tools she needs to help her become who she is, you have help shown her what it takes to be a good mother. By giving all the love and support you have & reminding that you are always there when needed.

You have helped the younger kids in more ways than you could possibly ever understand. Growing up in such a chaotic and confusing era to know that they have someone who knows them inside and out it there on their side, no matter what..? It’s one of the best gift you could had anyone. And I know that they know how lucky they are to have you as their mother.

And lastly… You have helped me beyond measure. Knowing that there was someone I could always talk, about any and everything is one of the greatest things you have ever done for me. There have been a lot of times where I don’t think I wouldn’t have made it out by myself if I didn’t have someone like you to talk and vent to. You have shown me to be hard, to be truthful and take no bullshit, while still being kind and to help those who need or can’t help themselves. You have taught me that no matter how small you feel, if someone is in need of help you go help them and if you get your ass kicked helping that person then you take it with pride, you work on what went wrong and then you go make things right.

You taught me the value in our words and the power that they carry. You were and still are the dad I always needed and the mother that anyone would be lucky to have. You are the inspiration behind my dreams, if it wasn’t for your passion for words, for helping others and being independent I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to pursue my dreams of becoming an author. I don’t even think I would have the guts to even admit my dreams to anyone. I never would have started my blog or even picked up a book if it wasn’t for you!

So to show my thanks for everything that you do for not only me but for my siblings written a little poem with clues/hints as to what your presents over the next few weeks are going to be. After the rough year you had last year and everything that is to come, we wanted to make this one a little more special for you.

(I will warn you though, this is the first time I have ever had to write a poem based around specific items so it is a little terrible but hopefully they’ll keep you guess -with hopefully a clue little or idea as to what it could be- until you receive your gifts)

The first is a fairy tale

with a little twist

it all may seem so innocent

with pages first kiss

The second likes to be pet

but be careful of their claws

And always keep in mind

never to forget

Some are cute and cuddly

and some are snugly and cute!

Now it’s time to change your fashion sense

to something new and fun

we have taken the time to find

you something cute with a little bit of sun

We know you like you colours

we know you love your vamps

but I have found you something

a little like a lamp!

Happy mother’s day to my one of a kind mammy. No matter how hard life may seem I know I always have you on my side to see me through just as you have me on your side. We all love you so very much! And can’t thank you enough for being you!

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day

So Today marks International Women’s Day. This is a day celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day where women are recognised for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political. The Charter of the United Nations, signed in 1945, was the first international agreement to affirm the principle of equality between women and men.

Since then women have come a long, long way from where we were then. We have a lot more freedom although there still seem to be so many obstacles in the way, when looking back i’m slightly stunned by what we as women have achieved. In honour of International Women’s Day I thought I’d write a post on inspirational women. Now there is without a doubt countless of inspirational women out there but for me my inspiration is drawn from my mother and younger sisters.

My mum has forever been the one person I know I can relay on, she’s always been there for me. Through the worst decisions of my life to some of the best, she’s pushed me forward when all I wanted to do was step back. She’s manage to be my mum, dad, best friend, protector and therapist all in one go. She’s never once stopped me from doing something I’ve wanted to do, she’s always stood by and supported me through my decisions however good or bad, just giving me advice whenever she could.

I have watched my mum fight some dark demons from past and present and she still continues to fight them to this day, and the amount of respect I have for the strength she always seems to managed to find is almost as much as the love I have for her. I would never trad a single quirky, Gothic, erratic and caring trait of hers. Her imperfections and perfections are what makes her such an amazing mum and I could never ask for a better one, I’ve never needed anything because of her, even when I was blind to that. (Pesky teenage hormones )

I say my sisters are also inspirational women is because although two have yet to make it into ‘womanhood’ they have all been through so much, are going through so much and coming out the other side better than I ever would. The way my sisters just take the bad and shake it off is so… admirable. I have a break down when I can’t find a pair of matching socks!

Not only that but they have also been there for me, when I have been sad and I think I’m hiding that I’m sad I’ll suddenly get a hug out of nowhere, a piece of paper slipped under a door with a drawing. They know what to say what to do to make me smile and I’m so proud of the woman and young girls that they are growing up to be. They don’t see it, or realise just how amazing they are but I know and now the rest of my readers do too!

And they are all so creative and smart! I spent 3 years using the internet, youtube and books I could get my hands on teaching my self to play the keyboard and another two-three learning how to play the piano. But my little sister taught herself how to play twinkle little start in one evening just by using sound! She didn’t search up the keys, the notes or what order to play them she played every single note, listen to every little sound until she made a sound that sounded like Twinkle little Star.

My other sister has self taught drawing, something I too tried at one point but quickly lost all passion for it when I realised I just wasn’t any good at it. But my sister has perfected the art of teaching herself to draw, she has spent many hours drawing and re-drawing the same picture until it looked right to her. She has over come so many things in her life through bullies to unexplained emotions to growing up. She’s put me to shame with her strength and reserve in continuing on no matter how hard things seem.

And then my youngest sister, being through so much already at a young age with medical issues the doctors had told my mum and step dad that my sister would never be able to walk, talk , crawl or be her own person due to complications but at the age of one my sister had them all gobsmacked when she was talking, crawling and learning how to walk! She’s always acted older than her age and I believe my sister has one of those old soul. She’s very academic, she’s so very clever and bright and recently she’s dabbled in art and the practice of yoga.

These women have been there throughout the best and worst of my life, the have stuck by me and have helped me through some pretty bad times and I couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t who they are now. I’d never change a single thing about them and can only hope that as they get older, as the world keeps turning people too will recognise just how special they are too.

Me and my brother sat with my three younger sisters and my mother on Christmas Eve three years ago.

I hope this opens your eyes to the women around you and the women in your lives and makes you realise what little gift they are to have in your life. Don’t take them for granted, take care in what they say and believe them when they say they care. Women can be your best friend or your worst nightmare its all in how we are treated and how much respect we are shown.

Show us respect and you might be surprised by the out come that will have.

Our first Valentines together.

14th February… Valentines Day, the one day where couples either get extra romantic or spend the entire day angry/ disappointed with their significant other.

When you are in a relationship for a long period of time the romance can sometimes…dwindle.
What was once an exciting occasion becomes something dreaded or too often repeated, you either spend too much time worrying about what to do for the day or what to buy and not enough time actually enjoying each other.

I personally have never seen the big deal with Valentines. It’s nice to get a card, a gift, chocolate, flowers but to only receive that kind of treatment once a year? It seems kind of silly. I think it takes away that special feeling in your chest you get when your significant other buys you something just because they wanted too, or saw it and thought of you or knew a box of chocolate or some flowers would put a smile on your face.

One of My Favourite Cards 

So in order to take a step back from unrealistic expectations and the gruelling task of trying to keep those expectations and I wanted to share mine and Dan’s first Valentines together.

Thursday 14th February 2013, I had spent the whole morning getting ready and preparing myself for seeing my boyfriend. I had picked out my outfit for the day, had done my makeup, my hair and made sure all his Valentines gifts and card was where I wanted them.

It wasn’t long before I heard a small yet firm knock on my front door, I let my mum answer it as I double check myself in the mirror before retrieving his gifts and making my way downstairs to greet my boyfriend.

We spent a little time in mine, opening gifts and cards, thanking each other and then relaxing with my family for a little while before we headed out. Now this was our first Valentines day, the relationship aspect as well as the relationship itself was a whole new concept to me and so we didn’t have anything big planned or anything planned alone.

(I ate the chocolates)

We had planned to have an unofficial couple date. Now as I said my relationship was VERY new at the time and it was at the stage where I was forcing my best friend to third-wheel (or fourth-wheel when she brought her boyfriend?) as much as possible. And so when Valentines was creeping around the corner we had planned to tell our boyfriends that we wanted to go to her boyfriend’s house and have a kind of double date.

Once we got there we all instantly started drinking and talking. It was so relaxing and just what I needed to help get rid of my nerves. We spent the rest of the day drinking and talking to our friends about the future, the past and everything in between.

Everything was going well, we were laughing, joking, talking and at times singing along to the music we had on, it was great. Until we ran out of drinks… We had gotten down to our last cans, we were all still feeling the good vibes/buzz that we’d (and the drink) brought out in each other when we then all started to get really hungry but there wasn’t really anything in eat.

It was 12am at night, we were all drunk off alcohol and each other’s company, I was sat on the couch cuddling with Dan when my friend suggested we go to the shops for more drinks and food and we were lucky enough to be a 20-minute walking distance from a 24-hour Tesco.

With drinks in our belly’s and food on our mind, me and Dan held hands as we made our way out and started on our adventure to the shop. We all probably looked like wobbling, idiots but we were wobbly idiots happy and in love.

I honestly couldn’t tell you how long it actually took us all to make it safely to the shops but I do remember me and my friends laughing and joking about how good life was when we were young enough to play on those little children-toy-rides that some shopping centres/ big shopping areas have. That then prompted our boyfriends to try and fit themselves into one of those said children-toy-rides. (If you know what they are called, please do put it down in the comments for me!).

The only Picture I have from that night (Mine is the one with too much hair on his head, on the left 😛 )

We stood there for a good ten minutes laughing at them and taking pictures (the only pictures we took of that night) before finally making our way into the shop. I can’t say how long we were in the shop either but I do believe we were in there longer than we planned and I hang my head every time I think about any of the late night staff hearing/ bearing witness to our drunken states. I don’t really remember what we bought other than a big bag of curly fries (I picked those). After another wobbly walk back to our friend’s house we instantly started cooking and then talking.

I remember the night just being so relaxing, no pressure, no expectations, no stress. It was all good fun that left us all with some good memories in the end. It wasn’t long after having our food that we all decided to call it a night.

Me and Dan we were to sleep on a long but narrow couch and although there was no room on it and the room itself was cold, being cuddled next to Dan I couldn’t help but think the night was still perfect and there wasn’t one thing I wanted to change.

I woke up the next morning, incredibly hungover but I honestly couldn’t have been happier as I left my friend’s house hand in hand with my boyfriend.

I guess what I want everyone to take from this is that Valentines isn’t a big deal, love isn’t a big massive gesture you need to show the world or brag about. Sure now and again it’s nice, but how nice is it really when you have spent so much time stressing? Sometimes even arguing?

If you love your partner don’t wait till one stressful day to show the length of your love, its all about the little daily gestures. The forehead kisses when you get home, the goodnight’s before going to bed, the I love you’s at random moments or before leaving, the little messages you send one another, handing hold and well I’m sure you’re all getting my point by now, don’t stress over one day. Enjoy your whole lives together and treasure the moments, good and bad.