World Suicide Prevention Day 2019

Today marks ‘World Suicide Prevention Day.’

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World Suicide Prevention Day

A day where everyone across the world comes together in the hopes of preventing any more suicides from occurring/ helping those who are currently tormented by suicidal thoughts/behaviour.

There are many things as a group or even as individuals that you can do in support of ‘Suicide Prevention Day,’ Such as;

  • You can open up about your own story of surviving suicide
  • You can talk openly about your suicidal thoughts
  • You can open up about your attempts of suicide
  • You can share a family member’s story (with permission of course)
  • Or you can share a story of someone close to you who lost their life to this terrible thing
  • You can host a little get together where you open up, talk and learn more about suicide and ways to stop it in others/prevent it.

This year I have decided to take part in, ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’ (WAPD) by joining others across the world in lighting a candle next to my window at 8pm TONIGHT. In honour of those fighting, suffering and in memory of those we have already lost to suicide.

The IASP is preparing “World Suicide Prevention Day Light a Candle Near a Window at 8 PM” e-cards or postcards in various languages so supporters can send these reminders to friends, colleagues and loved ones. Also, these e-cards or postcards can be used by bloggers, writers and others so that they can share information about suicide, suicide prevention and World Suicide Prevention Day. Click here to download e-cards to send to loved ones

WORLD PREVENTION DAY SITE

You can find out more and get involved more by checking out their website ‘World Prevention Day.’

I would ask that all my viewers to join me in lighting a candle at 8pm tonight in support of suicide survivors, in support and acknowledgement of those with suicidal thoughts and in memory of those who have already lost their life to suicide.

And when you light your candle I would love for you to share a picture of it with me on social media! (I’ll be sharing some of them).

You can share you pictures with me here:

Instagram - @LittleTinkablee

Twitter - @Tinkableeblog

Facebook Page - @LittleTinkableeblog

There are many things we can do to help others around us whether that is simply messaging a friend/family/colleague and checking in on them or posting helplines so people know where they can go to for help they don’t feel comfortable talking to someone they know.

Suicide is something close to me. Having my biological father commit suicide was hard but not nearly as hard as having my little brother age 7- 8 (at the time) try to commit suicide due to bullies. Nor was it as hard as having to hear/know that my siblings and mother have either attempted or strongly thought about attempting suicide.

It’s a thought that can get stuck in your head and there have been a few moments in my life where I even thought about ending my own life, moments where I thought I could make the world around me go quiet….

What’s helped me get to my 22nd birthday (an age I honestly never dreamed of even reaching) is my need for helping people, especially my family. My family suffers greatly from mental illnesses and there are a lot of strong negative emotions that circle my family. It seems there is a never ending cycle of bad things occurring.

What has stop me from following through with my own dark thoughts is knowing that my family have the same thoughts if not stronger thoughts than I do, and if I’m not here to help them, to be that person they can talk to, vent to or turn their emotions out on, then who will?

Who will help them when they need it, who will listen to their thoughts when everything becomes too much?

Suicide is no laughing matter, and it certainly isn’t something that should be hidden under a rock. I believe more helps needs to be put into place for people who struggle just Living in such a confusing and critical world.

I believe schools should be forced to do more when it comes to education the young mind of mental health and mental health illnesses.

Schools really aren’t doing enough, or all they can to help protect our children and it really angers me that they are so….dismissive almost of mental health/illnesses.

Some records show that a person dies every 40 seconds by suicide and up to 25 times as many again make a suicide attempt. It is responsible for over 800,000 deaths, which equates to one suicide every 40 seconds. Every year, suicide is among the top 20 leading causes of death globally for people of all ages.

  • In 2018, there were 6,507 suicides registered in the UK, an age-standardised rate of 11.2 deaths per 100,000 population; the latest rate is significantly higher than that in 2017 and represents the first increase since 2013.
  • Three-quarters of registered deaths in 2018 were among men (4,903 deaths), which has been the case since the mid-1990s.
  • The UK male suicide rate of 17.2 deaths per 100,000 represents a significant increase from the rate in 2017; for females, the UK rate was 5.4 deaths per 100,000, consistent with the rates over the past 10 years.

Suicides in the UK

In 2018, a total of 6,507 suicides were registered in the UK, 686 more deaths than in 2017 when there were 5,821 deaths (11.8% increase). This equates to a statistically significant increase in the suicide rate, with 11.2 deaths per 100,000 population in 2018, compared with 10.1 deaths per 100,000 population in 2017.

Following several years of decline, the latest UK suicide rate has increased to the level seen when it previously peaked in 2013 (11.1 deaths per 100,000). Suicide rates tend to fluctuate on a year-to-year basis. It is therefore too early to say whether the latest increase represents a change in the recent trend.

The factors behind any increase in suicide rates are complex. However, as detailed in Section 3, Things you need to know about this release, a change in the standard of proof used by coroners may have affected the latest figures. The latest provisional figures for England (2019 registrations for Quarters 1 and 2), which are subject to change and not finalised, show similarly elevated levels of registrations in the first half of 2019.

You can find out more by clicking here.

I understand that suicide can be such a sensitive subject to talk about as it’s almost too terrible to even comprehend that a person could feel so bad that they would even think to take away their life.

But without people speaking up and breaking silence on this very shocking and sensitive subject then we only leave the world to stick to the terrible stigmas that has surrounded suicide and suicidal people.

As disturbing as the thought is there are people out there who use self-harm and suicide attempts to keep people with them or to stop people from leaving them. But this isn’t everyone! It’s a very small group that are like that, most of the time people are just looking for help because they’re just stuck. Stuck in the same cycles, feeling the same emotions over and over (and that’s if you haven’t gone numb by that point).

As previously state, I have had people incredibly close to me attempt suicide and talk openly about wanting to end their own lives. It’s such a horrible sinking feeling knowing that the people keeping you grounded are experiencing these feelings and I feel as though there isn’t anything I can do.

My boyfriend had once been roped into a “friendship” as the person would consistently use self-harm and attempts at suicide to bring him and other people in when the person felt as though people were leaving them out. I myself have been placed in similar situations. It’s not nice.

I now know that just letting them talk and being an open ear is more than enough sometimes. Sometimes we just need to feel as though we are being heard and validated.

I now know that walking away from people who use such a heartbreaking thing against you is the best thing to do and that I am no held responsible for their actions, only mine.

I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this post and I ask that you please share this one around. And if you EVER need an open ear, no judgement, just an listen ear, then please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Or you can contact one of these suicide prevention hotlines –

Uk Suicide Helpline

Samaritans – for everyone
Call 116 123
Email jo@samaritans.org

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men
Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day
Visit the webchat page

Papyrus – for people under 35
Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm
Text 07786 209697
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline – for children and young people under 19
Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t show up on your phone bill

USA Suicide Prevention Hotlines:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) is a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.It provides Spanish-speaking counsellors, as well as options for deaf and hard of hearing individuals. It is only available in the United States 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (ESP) can be reached at 1-888-628-9454

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Deaf & Hard of Hearing Options) can be reached at 1-800-799-4889

You can also CLICK HERE to be direction to a list of International Suicide Hotlines.

how to know when to come back from that much needed break

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How to know when to come back from that much-needed break

Taking a step back from blogging can be hard, it can be even harder to determine when you are meant to take that little break from blogging. But it can also be even harder to determine when to come back.

A couple of weeks ago, I did just that. I took my first break from blogging since I started it this year in February.

At first it killed me (maybe a little bit dramatic) but It did make me feel like a failure, like I wasn’t ready to deal with anything. Not even something that I wanted to do.

But the feelings didn’t last and the longer I took from blogging, the more I saw myself and my mental health improve. – you can read more about it here in my post called: Taking that un-guilty break from blogging.

Deciding to take that break wasn’t easy, I ran through a lot of emotions, put my loved ones through a lot of emotions too as well but I won’t take any of it back as I noticed and started believing in the benefits of taking a little break away from things.

But when deciding to take a break, how do we know its the right time to come back out of hiding and crawl back out from that rock we hide ourselves in while hiding from our own stress and responsibilities. How do you know when you are ready to see that light of day again?

In the end I decided that a week away is what I needed, that a week would help me…and it did. But how did I come to the conclusion that a week is exactly what I needed, how did I know that after a week I’d be ready to take on the world again?

Well the truth is, I didn’t know. In my head, a week seemed like a reasonable enough time to get my head back on my shoulders. A week seemed like a good amount of time to take off and forget there’s even a world around me.

Before taking the break I had decided already that if I were to go through with it, I’d only be able to keep myself away for a week. And I was right. The entire time I was a way I was itching to write something, to DO something but forced myself away.

Then I found myself back into my old routine of self loathing for a little while as I had nothing to pour my bad energy into, at first I even kept myself away from books knowing I’d end up picking one of the ones that needed reviewing and probably end up reviewing it! I had to set myself boundaries and rules and distract my brain with other things to occupy my time.

But by Sunday morning I knew I was ready to go back to blogging on Monday. My heart and my head felt lighter, my body was more relaxed and there was a little peacefulness inside of me for a little bit.

However it wasn’t only the feelings I had that made me believe it was time to come back out of “hiding”.

I had 2 signs show me that I was ready:

  1. Was the feelings I felt. The lightness in my heart, it made me feel as though I was ready to take on the pain of others, to help good people through bad times. I was ready to start chasing my dreams again, not keep fighting and not give up. I truly did feel as though I could take on the world with a genuine smile plastered to my face.
  2. The second came in the form of body weight. For the first time in I don’t even know how long to be honest, I am almost 7 stone! In the week I had taken for myself, I had put on weight without realising it which is a sign that my body is starting to realise when it’s hungry again, starting to unconsciously give me hunger signs back without me even realising it until I weighed myself.

Through this I realised that the break way did me a massive deal of good, but not once did I loose that passion to blog, to write, to help, to keep chasing my dreams.

It showed me that even when doing something we love, something we enjoy, we still need to remember to take a break away from it. Otherwise you’ll find yourself hating the very thing you used to love.

When I realised that just how light I felt, that’s when I knew it was time to come back. That I was ready to face whatever, and ready to keep fighting for the future I want, for the dreams I want to achieve.

And I know I’m not the only one capable of such things! Connecting with so many amazing bloggers/creators/business people/authors and following their journey helps in reminding me that everyone falls off the horse at some point, falling off doesn’t matter, what does is getting back on.

I want to thank you all for taking the time to read my post and I hope you are all having a wonderful week so far! And never forget that if ever you feel the need to talk to someone, my messages are always open to you. I will listen, I won’t judge you, and I can assure you that everything that is discussed between us will be discussed under confidentiality, not a single thing will be shared UNLESS I feel you are harm to yourself or others (but we know most cases that isn’t the case, but I do feel as though it’s something I should state).

Taking that un-guilty break from blogging

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Taking that un-guilty break from blogging

In a busy world that never seems to stop or slow down it can often make us feel as though we are behind in our lives, we are constantly out looking to achieve that goal that will get us that one step closer to where we want to be.

And so often because of this we either forget to take little breaks or we choose not to have them, convincing ourselves that it makes us weak in some way or stressing ourselves by thinking of how far behind we will be if we take that little break.

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selfie with cat mug

But at some point we all have to put down out work\activity\project and pick up a cup of tea with maybe a book or two in order to give our minds a little rest. If you are anything like me then you too find it difficult to justify taking a break, to relax without feeling guilty for it. For the sake of our mental health though, it such an incredibly necessary thing to do.

Last week after experiencing a few very difficult few months where my mental health slipped a little, and after making a tweet and receiving some much needed advice… I made the decision not to give up on my dreams, not to let my mental illness and dark cycles take over again and took a week away from blogging.

Day one, I felt incredibly stupid. Thinking to myself, ‘are you seriously going to take a break in the first year of your blogging days? Are you really that breakable that you can’t handle the responsibility, work and stress that comes with blogging? Are you really that weak?’…

Day one, I found myself in a self-hate thought loop.

Day two, was a little better. I was able to break easily from the self-hate thought loop, however the fact that I was able to break from it made me hopeful that the next day would get better. I still didn’t really want to blog, only wanting to do it because I felt like I HAD to and not because I WANTED to.

Day three, was MUCH easier. The self-hate thought loops came less, I was able to actually enjoy my time away from my laptop and enjoy the present moments.

As the days wore on the less guilty I stated to feel and that was mainly because I realised two things in that week;

  1. I notice a big improvement in my mental health. I’ve even managed to gain the most weight this week than I have probably ever and although I have mixed feelings on my body changing, it’s made me feel more positive and hopeful.
  2. Time way gave me time to refocus, re-plan, re-brand (I’ll be doing a post shortly on what I mean about this) and re-approach how I blog. It’s also helped to give me new ideas for new blog posts!

When taking this break I didn’t pick up a book at first, knowing that if I did I would have picked up one of the ones that it’s my TBR pile and I’d probably end up having written up a review on it and posting onto my blog. And so with that in mind I set myself some rules, some boundaries, because the temptation to do something I told myself I wasn’t allowed to. The temptation of carrying on even though it was stressing me beyond even what I realised was ALMOST too much to resist. Don’t get me wrong I have NO self control what so ever and that usually is my biggest flaw but thankfully I have fallen in love with someone who probably has the most self control I’ve ever witness in one person and he helps keep my temptations kept aside so I am able to focus on the bigger picture.

So what did I do to ensure that I would not dive back into blogging?:

  1. I kept my laptop hidden away inside of two bags and placed in the cupboard (yes I am that bad that I have to resort to such lengths to assure I don’t give into temptation).
  2. I started focusing a little more on my candles, how I really want them to look, how I want them to appear, the labelling and picking out the names of them. A lot of that got swiped aside as I was also focusing on how to make my blog and go through with becoming a blogger.
  3. I focused a little more on planning my WIP (Work in progress) and writing more in my notebooks (yes I did mean I had to buy more notebooks, that part actually made me really happy. I’m always happy to have a reason to buy a new notebook or two).
  4. I took a lot more nature walks with my boyfriend as well as spending a lot more quality time with him (rather than sitting in the same room while I work on my blog and he does his thing).
  5. I started to read for pleasure again. A year or two ago I had stopped reading, finding myself unable to focus on the story line any longer I just stopped reading. I lost my love for reading for a while. That was until I read Olga Gibbs fantastic page turning book Heavenward and Hallow. But even then with my love of reading returned to me I didn’t look for books that I wanted to read and I limited myself to reading ONLY books that I was going to review. If I wasn’t reviewing it, then I wasn’t reading it.
  6. Lastly, I’ve started getting back into all the things I used to love when I was younger. (Reading, Writing, writing music, playing the piano, writing my own poems again and tracking my dreams through a dream journal, and so on).

With everything in mind, I’m VERY much aware of how difficult it can be to make the decision to take that break, to let yourself relax and to accept that you can re-grow from your time away.

But when your mental health is suffering, when you find yourself no longer able to enjoy the things you used to, when getting up in the morning feels like a chore again instead of a blessing to be a wake, to be alive and this opportunity to do something new, something different, something fun or exciting. That’s when you need to be able to step back and think to yourself, ‘I need a break,’ and you need to do so without the guilt.

No one should ever feel guilty for looking after themselves, for being able to say stop when they need to. No one should feel guilty for giving your brain that break, your creativity side that much needed rest to refuel.

No one should feel guilty for taking a needed break.

I want to thank everyone who spoke to me, gave me words of encouragement and advice. I could never repay you for your kind words or for helping in stopping me from making probably one of the worst decisions of my life this year.

I came very close to giving up on my dreams and on my blog but with the support from some incredible people and strangely timed WordPress “achievement” that reminded me a year ago on the 10th August 2018 I made a WordPress account and for 2 months even created a free blog site before quickly deleting it due to self-doubt and insecurities.

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1 year Anniversary of having WordPress

This year wasn’t about giving up, that was last year, this year is meant be about fighting the fear and fighting for what I want. The biggest fight will always be with myself but I refuse to let that side of me win any longer, I’m ready to live the life I want.

Like my yearly quote says;

If you can’t fight fear, fight scared.

And that’s exactly what I pan to do.

I also want to thank you all so much for sticking by my side and for taking the time to read my post. I hope everyone has a wonderful week a head of them, and don’t let those Monday Blue’s get you!

P.S – I have a Harry Potter giveaway running on my Facebook page, Instagram and Twitter, where I will be picking not 1 but TWO winners. So be sure to check that out!

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Facebook Page – LittleTinkablee Blog

Instagram – @Littletinkablee

Writing for myself Again

*Blogger Note*
I have never posted a post this late before but before going to bed I wanted to clear a few things up and thank the wonderful people that I have met on twitter for all they encouraging words and amazing support.

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Writing for myself again

As bloggers we want to see our blogs grow and thrive. We all have our own reasoning for wanting this but for me, bigger numbers/bigger viewers mean more people that I could possible help through my blog.

But, while trying to figure out ways to make my blog more attractive for other potential viewers and more interesting I’ve been majorly putting my mental health to the test because the truth is? I’m not all that interesting. I’m useless with technology and find that it annoys me more than I enjoy using it. I have a genuine fear of using technology outside, I won’t use card machines, I now won’t handle a bus ticket on the Arriva Buses as you know have to scan your ticket (I used to avoid getting the card for that reason), I won’t use a self serve till… there’s a lot I won’t do due to fear of it. What if I use it wrong? What if doesn’t work for me and everyone is staring at me? I HATE technology,

When I’m not house bound, I’m out early hours in the morning, or late at night on a walk with my boyfriend and Toby or sometimes we’ll go to a close friends house I have a family member out with me so I can do shopping.

The truth is despite how hard I try and fight my anxiety and all the overwhelming feelings that follow…It still wins. I’ve not figured out how to beat it, I’ve figured out how to have a few good days, sure but. But mostly? I’m riddle with anxiety to the point I am still throwing up in the middle of the days, my legs still go weak, my stomach still turns in knots and it makes it easier for depression to come along and sink it teeth into me.

If you follow me on twitter then you may or may not have seen my tweet that I posted out, one that I do apologise for. I usually try to stray away from social media when I start feeling like that as I don’t really want to be posting my negativity all out there, I want my accounts and blog to be a positive experience for everyone as I know how negative and toxic social media can be.

When my mental illnesses take over, my mental health suffers greatly for it, I end up in a vicious thought loop cycle. I feel so experienced in life, so boring and as though me and my blog has nothing to offer anyone that I get myself questioning why I’m even bothering? Am I even helping anyone? How can I even help people? These are only my words, my thoughts, my feelings…. It’s not anything special and it certainly isn’t anything interesting.

I had a little melt down, I don’t want to go into many details, but after I posted my tweet I retreated to my yoga in the hopes that it would help me…it didn’t. Neither playing with my cats or listening to music or reading, I just couldn’t stop my brain from doing over time enough to focus on the words.

This year I had a focus, a goals for myself. To change my lifestyle in the hopes of creating a more positive life or more positive days. But the past month or two I have failed in doing that.

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My eating has gone back down, I no longer snack, the drinks I’m drinking are more unhealthy than I am drinking healthy drinks, the healthiest drink I’m popping into my body is a glass of water and a glass or two of some kind of smoothie. My weight is back down more again, and what progress I was making in my work outs have all but disappeared because I all but stopped doing them. The only thing I have really kept on top of is my yoga but even that I have had to cut back on due to the lack of eating, so my energy levels have been really low lately.

And my family has been under extreme pressure with my little sister’s back surgery (and although she has/is in a lot of pain, she has been a little trooper), my mums one on the way soon and bunch of other things in the mix, its just been really hard to stay motivated and uplifted or positive.

I’ll be taking the weekend to regroup and refocus on myself and my blog. There are a few changes I want to make to it. I’ll still be doing my book reviews and product reviews but I’m going to be viewing them more as a hobby and I’m going to back to writing for me for a little while.

I’ll also be studying extra hard on my online college course while starting a new college course about crystal healing that I’m really excited about taking.

I’ll still be giving out tester candles to anyone who requests ones (for a free and honest review of course) .

My ‘Let’s Talk Pet Series’ and ‘My Bully Experience’ is still on going to anyone who wants their pets featured on my blog or to share their bully experience (to help inspire and show others that bullies never win, that trolls never win and that all their hate only strives our need to achieve our goals that much more stronger).

To submit your bully experience simply;
Email me at: Littletinkable@gmail.com
-Add your name
– short Bio of you
– Your bully experience
– And any pictures you would like added
-And any social media handles you’d like shared

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your bully experience all you have to do email me;
-Your name if you wish
– A short Bio (if you wish)
-Your bully experience
– Any pictures you would like added

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your bully experience on Littletinkablee then simply;
– Your Name
– A short Bio
-Your Bully experience
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-And any pictures you would like added

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

To submit your pet story simply;
Email me at Littletinkable@gmail.com;
-Add your name
– A short Bio of yourself
– Any websites and/or social media handles
– Your pet Story
-And of course some pet pictures.

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your pet story all you have to do is;
-Your name if you wish
-Your Pet Story
– And some pet pictures

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your pet story on Littletinkablee then simply;
– A short Bio
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-Your name
-And of course pictures!

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

Also My GIVEAWAY is still running and will continue running until Thursday, Friday I’ll pick the winner and Monday I’ll post it off to the lucky person! See my post – Some Bookish/Candle news‘ for more details.

I want to thank everyone who has messaged me and sent me words of encouragement and uplifting/ kind words, I can’t express what that means to me and I’ll forever be grateful for all the kind and amazing people I have met through my short but continued blogging journey. I hope you all have had a better Friday than I did and have a lovely weekends ahead.
Goodnight!

Blogging with severe anxiety

When looking through a blog you don’t really take into account that perhaps the mind behind the blog, could be riddled with nothing but anxiety but for me that’s my life.

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blogging with severe anxiety

I know that a lot of people escape to the cyber world as a “easier” way to connect with other people, as a less anxious way of connecting with other people. But unfortunately I’ve not fully experienced this, I mean sure, I DO find it easier to connect and engage with people on the internet than I do in real life but all the anxiety that comes with talking to someone in person, still follows me when I try the same thing online.

I feel like because I have spent so much of my time locking myself away from people, that communicating to others is just as difficult for me as talking to animals, I feel like I am saying all the wrongs things, coming off strange, intense, emotional? Maybe even at times crazy, though that could be my own personal feelings being projected outwardly. One of my biggest fears is becoming insane, a strange fear to carry I suppose but one I have never been able to shake off. Between fearing that and barbie dolls… my nightmares can be interesting to say the least.

But I’m rambling and getting myself off topic.

I maybe be stalling a little to, if I were honest with myself. Anxiety is a very close and sensitive subject for me, it’s something I have spent many years blaming for ruining my life before I even got the chance to begin one. I’ve spent my whole life helping others anyway I can, keeping my head down when possible, staying out of trouble (As much as one can), keeping the old saying, ‘treat others how you want to be treated’, Glued to memory. But over time quickly came to realise that I was one of a VERY small few you stuck to such an oath.

As I got older, my need to protect myself out weighed the need to protect someone else and instead of going out of my way to help people, I found myself only helping those I happened to come across needing help, then it got to the point where I wasn’t even doing that because I wasn’t leaving my house.

During that time I never saw myself as locking myself away from people or not experiencing anything because I lived my life in books. From the moment my eyes were open to the moment I could no longer stay awake I was reading, I was living the adventure of someone else, exploring a new world, meeting new and exciting people, helping and saving others. To me I wasn’t missing out on anything because I was experiencing it all every time I touch a book or started writing another of my own.

But of course books weren’t my saving grace for long, I eventually started to notice just how lonely and out of touch with… everything, I was, that I still am. And although my boyfriend manage to save me in parts and massively help me in others, my anxiety has still manage to overrule me, overrule my life.

My anxiety known’s no bounds.

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blogging with severe anxiety

And it’s followed me through my blogging too. There isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not twitching with the thought of deleting my blog and just ending the constant anxiety that has clung to me since starting it.

Putting yourself out into the world can be a scary thing, to someone who finds it incredibly difficult to leave the house to go across the road (a two minute journey if that!) to go into the shop for something as simple as milk, putting yourself out into the world can feel like a death sentence.

A blog at first seemed like a less scary root to take, a lesser of two evils if you will. It seemed like I’d be able to have a lot of control over who views it…which kind of defeated the goals I had intended for this blog.

If I want my blog to reach people, to help people, inspire people or simply even entertain/ interest them for a few minutes then I had to accept keeping my blog open for people to view, I had to have less control over the privacy settings, for what was the point in having a blog for people to read if I kept it on private so no one could?

I don’t read my own posts, which I know is terrible because I also know there are many mistakes that need correcting. But I just can’t bring myself to go through my posts, I don’t trust myself not to delete them if I’m being completely honest.

I always tell everyone that the comments are open for your own opinion and good or bad I want to hear them…but I do have my comments on monitored as in I monitor every comment that comes in and it doesn’t get publicly seen unless I want it to and I told myself it was because of trolls, and a few months ago that would have been 100% true as there was a particular one that has been emotionally and mentally exhausting me but other than that one? And one other incident that occurred with another “mental health blogger” – I air quote that because I’m not entirely sure that that’s what he is at the moment, it just seems to me more than anything he is reaching out and looking for other mental health suffers to mess with- who later apologised for his behaviour towards the end of the night.

Other than those two, VERY small negative things, I have not had one issue with anyone I have come across online, nor an issue since starting my blog. No one has come to personally attack me or my blog and for most people that would be reassurance enough for them. I’ve made friends with bloggers who have been attacked by many trolls but are still brave enough to keep their comments from monitoring them the way I can.

Usually what I do is, I write a post out and I will post it on whatever day I had decided that it should go out on. After that I’ll promote it as quickly as possible and just s quickly try to forget about it, I don’t go back to it and read over what I have write, I don’t correct the mistakes that are made and I don’t notice them to begin with because I never give myself the chance to.

I really want to change the way I have been approaching blogging. I have been quoting all year, “If you can’t fight fear, then fight scared” but I’m still letting fear fight and beat me. I’m still letting it control me in some ways and I really don’t want to show across my blog, this whole year is about BIG and HEALTHY, changes and I feel that changing my tactic when it comes to how I blog could truly benefit both me, my blog and anyone out there reading it.

It’s time to truly let go of my fear, to accept the negative that comes along with it but also to embrace all the positive benefits that it can bring too.

I wish you all, as always, a wonderful start to the week. Don’t let those Monday blue’s catch you! Whatever you are going through, whatever challenge you are facing, you can face and there isn’t a soul out there that doesn’t have another caring for them, even if all the negativity in your life has blinded you to them, never lose hope!

Getting Our Monday Motivation On Can be Hard

(I originally started typing this post out before my yoga this morning, however I got very distracted, then even more distracted -I’m easily distracted, one of my many talents 😛 – and completely forgot I was in the middle of writing this post!)


“Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears.”

– Walter Scott
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Take a moment

Getting our Monday motivation on can be incredibly difficult, especially if you are anything like me and tend to experience the “Monday Blues” no matter how sunny it is outside. However where I have been making it my mission to change the way I think, in the hopes of changing the way I feel and function, I’ve been trying to find ways/things I can do to change when I am feeling…Off.

The main thing I have implemented into my daily life in the hopes of keeping myself, somewhat balanced in myself, is morning yoga. Every morning I am trying to get through a yoga routine. You can read in more depths the benefits I gain from doing morning yoga by clicking, HERE. Last week I changed my yoga routine up a bit to something a little more challenging.

I’ve also cut down my chocolate intake, cut down on my cups of tea and more or less no longer drink coffee. I’m still missing breakfast, and this month hasn’t been my proudest for my weight as I’ve lost quiet a bit of weight again, instead of gaining. I’m taking steps to getting my body and myself used to breakfast. I’m both disappointed and…a little relieved? I’m still fighting through and figuring out my emotions when it comes to self changes, both within myself and my body.

This, Monday, I have managed to get through one of my yoga practice and already feel 10x better. I plan on having a bowl of fruit and a homemade smoothie for breakfast this morning. I’m also going to be spending the say making more candles and wax melts, ready for my release date.

Tomorrow I’ll be posting my long awaited hair clip review for @Linziclip which I am super excited to share with you all. I’ve never really been one for playing around with my hair, because its weird thickness and texture and add in that it has a mind of its own, products, hair clips, straighteners or curlers, nothing ever worked on it! That was of course until I came across Linziclip hair clamp clips!

I’m also starting each day off with a positive, a motivational and inspirational quote, to get the positive vibes kick started and as soon as the weather is less…wet, I’ll be able to go on more walks and jogs.

Over the weekend I spent a day babysitting and decided to bake with the kids to keep them entertained and to give them something else that they can learn to do and feel a sense of accomplishment from, not to mention baking is just so much fun! And you get a tasty treat at the end of it! This weekend we decided to make a colourful unicorn themed cake, not only did it taste amazing, but it looked amazing too! I couldn’t be prouder of them for the cake they created! I barely had to do anything, I mainly just stood (sang along with songs) and supervised them and handled the oven part. (pictures of the cake below!)

Besides baking cakes with kids, my little sister has taken on my love for baking and when I went to see my mother the other day I was greeted to a home baked brownie, that tasted better than any store bought brownie you’ve ever come across, nothing will beat a home baked desert (other than home cooked food).

I have a lot to get through today but I’m also going to be making a stronger point to take little breaks, to do things differently and take a step back when necessary. When blogging you can come across some amazing people! But it can also unfortunately lead you to some… trouble people.

This year since starting my blog, my 6 to 7 year long internet troll has been trying to take on some of my traits, some of my personality, she has take my ideas and ran with them herself, she has gotten her family and friends and I assume “partner” too, to stalk my social medias as well as my blog posts. She has copied my life from the highs all the way down to the lows, she has turned my positives into negatives and taken my negatives and used them for her own personal gain an attention. However I have not let her or her crazy and her unhealthy obsession with me and my life get to me, I am still pursuing MY dreams and creating the life I WANT. And through continuing creating the life I want, I hope that she see that trying to be someone else doesn’t full fill you or give you the things you seek.

Being true to yourself takes courage and I hope that some day you’ll gain the courage to be true to yourself, rather than living behind a mask that is my life. But just know that I will not be stopping my blog because of you, I will not delete my social media because of you, I will not stop my future vlogging for your and I will not give up on my dreams because you are unable and creative enough to come up with your hopes and dreams. Until the day comes that she learns that this unhealthy behaviour is that, unhealthy, I will continue to write my blog posts that I hope can help her through her own personal demons as well as helping others.

I don’t hate this person, nor could I ever bring myself to hate another human being. Hate is just too strong of a feeling of an emotion and unless you have done some serious harm or damage to me, I don’t see the point in wasting/feeling such a strong emotion. I do Hope though. I hope she gets the help she needs, that she realises what she has done is wrong, that you don’t have to pretend to be someone else to have people like or accept you. Honestly picking me to copy from is probably the worst thing ANYONE could do. I’m no idol, I’m no inspiration, I’m a broken girl trying to make her own life, trying to figure out who she is, Taking back a life that mental health has overrules. My life is not a life you should copy, its one you should be learning from.

I know this post isn’t one of my typical posts and It’s incredibly short but the game is calling my name! I’ll have two new posts up this week, one of them will be a review post!

Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope you all have a lovely week ahead of you. To anyone out there struggling, please don’t be afraid to reach out and contact me, it doesn’t matter what I am doing, if you need someone to be there, to offer a non judgemental conversation or listening ear, then that’s what I will provide. No should have to suffer alone and I can promise you, you aren’t alone, all you need to do is take that first little step into reaching out & ask/seek help.

Why I do yoga in the mornings and MY rules for doing yoga in the mornings

“Early to bed and early to rise makes man healthy, wealthy and wise”

 is a universal adage
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Morning Yoga

Every since starting yoga and experiencing all the unbelievable and uplifting benefits that yoga can hold, I’ve tried to make a point of doing it once or twice a day. However, this year I’ve been trying to do yoga a lot more, 2-3 times a day, sometimes even four. But my main goal is to do yoga every morning.

Why? You may ask. Well for me it’s simple.

It makes me feel less anxious and throughout the day. I find that if I can burn a certain amount of energy in the morning, I have a better handle, a better control over my anxiety and depression. I feel like I’m able to push the bad away easier, making it near impossible to attack me.

I did say near impossible.

Doing yoga in the morning hasn’t cured me of my depression or my anxiety but it has helped me gain more confidence in my control over it, I feel as though I have been given a new tool in life to help and now all I want to do is take full advantage!

But I still have to remember to pace myself, not just because for most of my life I have lived the life of a slob but also because of my eating disorder. When I say slob, I mean when I was able to bring to myself to eat something it was usually a piece of chocolate, or a piece of pizza, crisps, more chocolate, ice-cream, and basically everything you are warned not to eat a lot of due to health problems in the future. I despite my “pig outs” when I could, I was still extremely under weight, I still am.

And so because of that I have made a few rules up for myself to follow when doing my yoga practice, which are the following:

No breakfast? Then no yoga!

Breakfast - breakfast cereal - cereal
Breakfast Cereal

Breakfast has always been a BIG no, no for me. Mainly because for five years of my life I spent every single morning with my head down the toilet throwing up stomach acid due to the emptiness of my belly contents and not only by then was food FAR off my mind, but I also believed that food would make me feel worse.

I’m honestly amazed at how untrue that is! I only eat (not every morning, it’s still a work in progress) small things in the morning, such as; A yogurt, a bowl of fruit, yogurt and a bowl of fruit, half a bowl of cereal or what I usually ended up eating more than anything else for breakfast, a banana.

When having a banana before yoga, I notice that my muscle are more relaxed, and are easily to bend and sway to my will. Stretching has become a breeze! I also notice I have lot more energy to hold myself up in certain positions and throughout the day. My moods are usually a little higher and I feel the control that my anxiety and depression have over me slip slightly.

I know a lot of people like to do yoga on an empty stomach but again due to my issues, I get more benefits when I before than I do when I try doing yoga on an empty stomach.

TAKE BREAKS!

yoga break
yoga break

One of my problems when doing something is I like to get it DONE. Which means I really don’t like taking any breaks and the same applies with yoga but with all the energy that yoga can take up, it’s easily to quickly run yourself down.

So, now, I like to remember to throw in 5-10 minute breaks into my sessions.

And I ALWAYS take at least 10-15 second break before going into a new pose.

A lot of my breaks will consist of cuddle time with one of my cats, as I am never alone when doing yoga. I like having my cats around me when I’m doing yoga, they are great reminders that a break is always needed.

Always stretch first.

Yoga stretches - Yoga - yoga life - yoga girl - dyedhair - photography - purple hair - pink hair
Yoga stretches

I always make sure to stretch my body before doing yoga, with some of the poses I like to do it really helps stop any cramps from attacking.

Stretching before and after yoga practice can really benefit you and your body. It can lend a helping hand in increasing our strength and prevent a lot of injuries from occurring while doing yoga.

Not to mention that it helps loosen up your muscles and body, helping you achieve those yoga poses you are trying to achieve.

Yoga Pose
Yoga Pose

Set my self small goals.

Before I do my yoga I make sure I have my small goals in mind. My small goals I like to write up over on the weekends and try to memorise them for the rest of the week, sometimes for the whole month if I’m still not making the kind of progress I am hoping to make.

AVOID CAFFEINE

Now most people who have anxiety know this, however, if you are not aware then I’ll be happy to inform you to help you, help yourself better, that caffeine is terrible for anxiety suffers. (I’ll be writing a post on this in more depth and posting the link here once it’s available for reading).

But yeah, I now try my best to avoid tea, coffee and any caffeinated infused drinks.

Never compare myself to other fellow Yogis.

Sometimes our biggest demon is comparison. We can’t help but compare ourselves to other’s sometimes and in yoga that still stands, especially when following along with a yoga Youtube Video and comparing how more far along they are than you.

yoga -yoga poses - yoga life - yoga girl

It can make you question yourself a lot which can be both good and bad. Good, because it can give you more motivation to do it and to it more often but bad, because sometimes once that little part of your brain is switched on…it can be hard to switch it off again. You start to question if you are doing the poses right, is your breathing in line? Should I use my block, they don’t need one?

Being an overthinking, it’s hard to shut these thoughts off and so I limit myself to what videos I watch and when. There’s no point in watching a Youtube video for yoga beginners if I am going to spend most of that time focusing on questioning myself rather than focusing on what my body is doing.

And so I make a conscious effort not to let myself “fall down the rabbit hole.”

EAT AFTER or have a protein shake/ smoothie

As well as making sure I have something to eat before I do yoga, I like to make sure I have something a little more filling afterwards. Sometimes doing yoga can set off that little alarm in your body that tells me I’m hungry (Something I seriously struggle with, I don’t get many warnings that I’m hungry because my body is so used to running on nothing) and so I’ll be ABLE as well as WANTING to eat after my morning yoga practice.

I hope this post can help inspire you to take the journey that yoga has to offer and maybe some of my rules can help you!

Do you do yoga? Do you have you’re own rules? I’d love to hear about them down below in the comments. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their week, and makes the most of this summer weather!

Pusheen on Tour – Liverpool – Worlds Apart

I just want to say before we get into today’s new post that I know that I have been a little absent lately and I do apologise for that, but I’m back with new content, a new giveaway on the way and a exciting announcement on the way! I would also like to thank you all for your patience and your support but more importantly I want to thank the people amazing people who have helped and continued supporting me from the very start and still continue to do so now. I have a special post coming up soon dedicated to those few amazing people.


Teddie - Pusheen - Pusheen on tour - Wolrds Apart
Pusheen on Tour, Worlds Apart, 15th June 2019

On 15th June 2019 me and my younger sister Courtney took our other much younger sister – Cait – out to town for one of her early 16th birthday gifts. Our little sister is OBSESSED with anything related to pusheen and when my sister came across the ‘Pusheen on Tour’ and had seen they were making their way to Liverpool she contacted me and asked if it was something I wanted to take our little sister too.

My sister is aware of how bad my anxiety is (as she suffers – but handles it more like a warrior than I do – with anxiety too) and knows that I need time in advance to work myself up to leaving the house and going out somewhere so public and busy with people.

Going to this Pusheen tour even was a little push for all of us but I would have to say it was more of a push for our younger sister as she suffers from Autism and Asperger on a high scale, being around so many people and so far from home, so far from our mum is always a massive challenge for her.

Whats more is that Courtney wanted it to be surprise for our sister (our sister is great with surprises…unless it involves going somewhere, then she likes to know exactly where she is going, what it looks like, how long it will take to get there, what transport she would have be on…like me she needs to know EVERYTHING) Which I was a little unsure about but went along with anyway because I know how much she loved Pusheen and the distraction of the event may help in lessening her worry about being somewhere.

Eventually though we did have to shed a little light on her surprise and warn her that we would be out and about for this, so she had some time to prepare herself.

On, Saturday 15th June, we all woke ourselves up. Bleary eyed and sleepy headed, we got ready for an early day an left the house at 8:30am to make it a little early for the opening time which was 9:30am.

The bus ride there was long but quiet which was nice, I could see the excitement on my sister’s face even behind her tired look. We stood in line for around 20 – 30 minutes before they opened their doors to use (They opened me 10-15 minutes past 9:30am). They wait wasn’t so bad, we had made it with a enough time to be somewhat at the front of the line, it really didn’t take long for that line to grow once we had made it there. There were a lot of anxious and excited Pusheen fans waiting to get their free candy floss and discounted items.

I was slightly disappointed once we made it through the doors as the area they had dedicated to the Pusheen tour was very small and cramped, I don’t feel as though enough effort was put into the lay out of where they were going to have their customers engage and look at things. There were defiantly a few items along the back of the wall NEXT to the Pusheen tour items that could have be taken to the back, for the day without it affecting any of their normal purchase.

Other than the MAJOR lack of space which didn’t bond well for any of us, the staff were amazing, friendly and down right lovely to be around, they had some amazing items around us to buy. Not to mention that we were given free goody bags as we walked through the door which held Pusheen related items in them!

We didn’t stay long due to the over crowding, people were finding it difficult to get in and out, to decorate a cookie, to get their free candy floss and it was even too cramped to pick up items and purchase them. However we were able to have a look at what they had around and Cait was even able to pick out a few things.

After buying her items I told Courtney to wait for us by the door as I went back to take our receipt back to the woman that was handling the raffle (if you took back your receipt after buying something, you were able to join in the free raffle), we didn’t win anything from that but I was able to get the girls their free candy floss before leaving the building and continuing on with our day.

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Courtney and Cait with their free Candy Floss outside ‘Worlds Apart’.

Because of house quick it felt like we were there and with how early we had left the house, we decided to pop into a few shops, buy some new clothes, a few items before going for something to eat.

We ended up in Taco bell (the first time I had been in there) where the girls had some tacos, wrap and cheesy chips and I just had some cheesy chips. I have to say that I really enjoyed their cheesy chips, a lot, but didn’t get through many of them. We watched an old woman feeding pigeons and seagulls as we ate our food and talked about where to go or what to do next.

We ended up going to Lush after grabbing a bite to eat and I have to say that I love it inside! You could SMELL the Lush shop before you even got to it, and upon entertaining in, it’s like you’ve entered a mythical land of colours and strong scents. I didn’t Find anything on the bottom floor, though the girls did find one corner of the shop they liked…

The second floor was where I fell in love, but more than anything I fell in love with the scent on the Dragon Egg Bath bomb, I could live in that scent all day!

Lush Bath Bombs
My Lush Bath Bomb purchases

I also found a really beautiful and colourful INTERGALACTIC Bath Bomb, while Courtney had fallen in love with the Sex Bomb Bath Bomb. I also love the staff that are working there, who are just so friendly. The woman I had checking out my items was exceptionally lovely, I was even able to have a comfortable little chat with her and she guessed my accent first go! That’s the first time anyone has guess my accent first go.

All in all, we had a wonderful sisterly day were our anxiety didn’t win over us, we had fun, we enjoyed ourselves and made it home all very tired but all very happy.

I didn’t end up getting the free cotton candy from the Pusheen On Tour event (though I’m a little glad because the girls didn’t like it, it was too thick and almost chewy, it didn’t melt the way cotton candy is meant to) however I did buy myself, my own personal stash of cotton candy that I just love, love, love!

Dr pepper Cotton Candy
Dr Pepper, Cotton Candy

Guys never let your fears, your mental health or mental illnesses stop you from doing anything that you want, don’t let it prevent you from attending events, chasing a dream of yours or from doing something that makes you smile or happy.

There will be days that it will win over us, but the more we fight back, the more days we will win over them! I hope you are all having a lovely weekend and please if you have any questions, problems or requests please feel free contact me here:

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Email – Littletinkable@gmail.com

Instagram – @littletinkablee

Facebook – Littletinkablee

The Long Road – By Daniel B. Oliver

The long Road is a debut novel written by a brilliantly talented author, Daniel B. Oliver. (5/5 stars -from me)

About the Author

Daniel Oliver has bachelor’s degrees in both Spanish and Physician Assistant Studies. In writing his debut novel, THE LONG ROAD, he drew inspiration from his experience as a Physician Assistant in a psychiatry ward and his own struggles with mental illness and hospitalizations.

 Oliver is a resident of Baltimore, Maryland, where he enjoys the single life–and the oysters.

Synopsis

Aspiring engineer Hank Galloway wants two things in life: to snag a coveted position working for NASA and to get an accurate diagnosis of his mental illness.

Hank doesn’t realise how serious his disorder is until he’s hospitalised following a mental breakdown near his California college. Medical experts try to give him answers but can’t provide him with the peace or relief he desperately craves. Despite their assurances, his mental health keeps deteriorating.

Hanks struggles don’t just affect him; they also threaten to derail his relationship with his girlfriend. Worse still, Hank’s overbearing father demands that he move back home to Georgia and go on disability. But that would mean giving up on his dream career, and Hank isn’t ready to do that, despite his fears of suffering another breakdown. Will, Hank, achieve his goal of sending ships beyond the stars, or is he destined to remain grounded?

My Review

(Now this isn’t a book I would usually pick up to choose and read however when the Author, Daniel, contacted me about viewing his book I was already instantly drawn to it and agreed to give a full honest review on his book. A few weeks after, his fascinating and simply, yet beautifully covered book came through my door with a lovely message in side).

The long Road is a wonderfully written novel about a young man named Hank, with a dream of working for NASA, Hank values his knowledge and seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders in terms of career.

Hank is struggling to to chase his dream with a linger mental health illness that starts to take over and try to rule his life, in turn killing his dream job. He struggles to find his own identity while battling this unknown illness.

With a domineering and quite frankly in my eyes an abusive father, Hank is still a rather kind, thoughtful and very intelligent who comes from a very wealthy family, but flips into a slightly aggressive and paranoid young man with delusional episodes, like one flips a light switch and struggles to maintain friendships/relationships due to his mental illness and having incorrect diagnosis’s.


As soon as I picked this simple looking yet beautiful book up I was instantly drawn into Hanks mind and into the world he saw. Just reading through the first few pages it is clear that something was going on that had Hank fearing for his life.

The author really has done a fantastic job at drawing his readers into the mind of Hanks and into the mind of a young person struggling with an unknown mental health illness, while still trying to pursue his life long dream of working for NASA.

Daniel Oliver introduces us to Hank in a rather… action-packed, intriguing way. My firsts op on Hank was that he was a little overly paranoid, with his thoughts quickly turning dark and making him believe that people, including his friends were out to harm him in some way. But had a clear dream and goal in mind that he wanted no interruptions from and was ready and willing to accepts the medication prescribe to him in the hopes of helping him.

I found it to be an incredibly amazing, fast and easy read as I was led on Hanks journey to being diagnosed and found myself reading it with in three days (that’s on top of daily life, and extra bits in between) and think I could have easily read this in a day had I started reading it on the weekend!

I’d recommend this book to all my friends, family and views/readers!

This isn’t a book that I would usually typically read but I am so glad that Daniel had reached out to me about his book and sent me a copy for my honest review (I do apologise that it has taken me so long to write this review out, but I spent a good time doing a lot of mental health the past couple of weeks and less on reviews).

And once again I would like to state that I would never recommend a book to you that I didn’t fully and truthfully enjoyed myself. This has been one interesting and intriguing and emotional journey that I’m glad I was able to experience with Hank and know anyone else who picks up this great novel will too!

If you would like to check this book out for yourselves, then just CLICK HERE. (It’s currently free for Kindle Addition!)

We Are Not A Dumping Ground For Your Misplaced Anger

If you follow me on Twitter then I’m sure a lot of you will be aware of the…twitter melt down that went on last night.

Last night I had come across a rather angry man on a twitter chat I like to join in on ever Tuesday hosted by @Ukblogawards. A chat that I have enjoyed immensely since I started blogging this year.

He was being extremely rude in their comments, claiming that the @Ukblogawrds were neglecting and ignoring him for no reason. I decided to intervene and try and stop him from continuing posting abusive and rude comments, at one point I told him the internet may not be the place for him if he is so paranoid, defensive and aggressive on it, I even let him know that my dms are always open to anyone seeking help, advice or need to talk because they have no one to talk to or because they aren’t comfortable talking to those they do know…only to have him throw one at me to which I told him was completely rude and out of line and that I didn’t feel comfortable having my dms open to such an angry and aggressive person.

His reply to that was to start messaging me. Once it had seemed I had managed to talk him down he started talking about his blog for male mental health. First he had stated that he was angry because he is struggling and alone, 2 weeks ago he’d stated to me that he was supposedly fine. I told him he couldn’t be taking his anger like that on others, that he was only turning away any potential help that could be offered to him because of his aggression.

He said he was sorry, I accepted it and then he started talking more about him feel down and struggling (I won’t get into what was actually said word for word as all my conversations -good or bad – stays private between me and who ever contacts me. I respect privacy).

I eventually suggest he take up yoga, I felt like after the brief talk that yoga would be a great way to help him control and challenge his emotions into a more positive energy or at the very least help control them enough that they wouldn’t over rule him. Yoga has done wonders in helping me with my emotions since I started taking it more seriously.

He then asked if he could trust in confining in me and I told him what I tell everyone, ‘All my conversations with people are strictly confidential and non-judgemental (however if you start talking or I feel that what we are talking about will lead to harm of you or another person then I will feel the obligated to reach out to someone else who would be much suited to helping you)

After informing me that he has told women stuff before and its ended up all over social media, he also said that he wasn’t trying to say that I would do that but maybe I could understand why he was anxious. I did understand but what he said had also raised a little red flag for me and made me a little uncomfortable. He had specified ‘women’ having done him harm and lending a helping hand in his paranoid thoughts and distrust. After he had said that I instantly started thinking that right now maybe opening up and talking to a male would be more benefiting for him right now than any female mental health blogger/advocate.

But I had already offered my services and it didn’t feel right to turn someone (who was clearly seeking help of some sort) away. I spoke to him for a little and then things were directed to his blog and about him feeling bad that it wasn’t so good. He told me that no one followed his blog nor engaged with him and he believes that 99% of the blogging community hates him.

I said to him, ‘You just need to try a different approach, the blogging community doesn’t hate you, you just need to do more research and change the way you think/approach things (because being angry and getting aggressive doesn’t work).

He said he wanted to be a successful mental health blog for men (we all want to see our blogs become successful). So again I suggest he does more research, tries different approaches, and not to expect things too happen fast. He then went on to tell me that he had been blogging for 4 four years and six posts up.

So I told him that six posts isn’t nearly enough (especially when you want to be a successful blogger of any sorts). That he had to put more work, time and attention into his posts. I also said that blogging is almost a 24hr job (for people like me its pretty much is 24/7). I then went onto to saying that if he wasn’t willing or flexible enough to be more consistent in his blogging them maybe it wasn’t the right thing for him right now. After all, sometimes life just gets in the way of what we really want to do.

After that his reply was to tell me that, ‘he was trying to keep himself calm but he had done 5 years in uni doing marketing and blogging, that he knows how to blog and what he is doing. and told me that I am patronising him like everyone else, that everyone thinks hes dumb rather than trying to give him advice.’

That was not at all what I was trying to do or imply. Simply that research is what has benefited me since I started blogging this year and it could him as well as other.

He then starts to get aggressive with me again. Telling me he knew how to blog, he just didn’t know what the point was (he did swear around this point at me) when no one supports him.

I told him his behaviour was out of line and that I didn’t mean any harm in what I said, that he had asked me for advice and advice is what I gave him. It wasn’t my fault if he saw it as advice or not, that’s what it was and nothing more.

He told me because I called him rude it meant that nobody liked him. That he has been humiliated, hurt and betrayed for 31 years. (Now I’m sorry, I really am. But you are talking aggressively to a 21 year old girl, just trying to help people out. Being hurt by others isn’t an excuses to be a horrible person).

I told him that I was trying to help him but then he decided to laugh and sarcastically say, “really by telling me be consistent lol that’s common sense.” (I’m sorry that you didn’t see my words as advice by maybe if you had handle things more gentlemanly then I could have offered more advice to you).

I told him that maybe the internet isn’t for you and he then replied with, “so what you’re saying is I spent 5 years at uni for nothing.” Now, Uni was never mentioned from me, only him. I really have no interest where people have been, only in if I can help now or not. In this case I really couldn’t help this person.

He continues on messages me saying that he was asking for my help, that he wanted advice and that telling him to be consistent isn’t advice, that telling him hes dumb and wasted 5 years of his life is not advice. Which I agree, telling him he’s dumb and wasted 5 years of his life is not advice…if it was something I actually told him… Again none of these words were said to him, these are words he is telling me he sees when reading my replies. Another reason as to why I really believe he shouldn’t be on the internet right now.

By that point I told him he was rude and disrespectful, and horrible to talk to, goodbye.

that I couldn’t help him and that I was going to block him. And so I blocked him. I then went to my twitter page to let others know who seek any advice or help from me that I am not here to be your personal dumping ground for your misplaced anger.

The man I had tried helping quickly jumped onto another account and all while he was trying to publicly paint me in a bad light, while he continued to through verbal abuse at me, he was also messaging me and trying to post abusive comments onto my blog.

THIS IS NOT OKAY BEHAVIOUR! And I will not stand for it and I will defend myself against it. I am here to help people. I am not here for you to let out your obsessive anger issues.

It took telling him that I would have to go to the police to get him to stop harassing me and have him say he was sorry and that he hoped that we could talk again some time this year. If you are reading this, I want to let you know now, I will not be taking any more messages from you. You had more than plenty of chance from me, I offered my help many times and you are just to aggressive to handle. I truly believe that you should NOT be on the internet right now and that you should continue your private help. I would also rethink being a blog for male mental health right now when no one feels comfortable enough to talk with you.


Guys, us mental health bloggers/advocates are human too. We are not trying to help because we have our lives together and are happy and content with ourselves and life. We do it because we know what it is like to be in your shoes, we do it because we know what it feels like to be in that much mental and emotional pain that we wouldn’t wish to see out worst enemies in that much pain (though 9 out of 10 times its usually ourselves that are our worst enemies).

We don’t do this so you can let your frustration and anger out on us. It’s certainly isn’t why I offer my help to everyone. We don’t do this so you have someone to blame and hate, we are doing this to try and help you to stop doing that to yourself. I am doing this so no one is as overruled an controlled by their mental health the same way I am.

I am human, I have my struggles (A lot of them) and I have full of many faults but I have never had anyone claim that I have intentionally hurt them. I was taught at a very young age that everyone needs help, and if no one is helping you then you help other people. I don’t reap what I sow, I have never enjoyed that saying, I accept and forgive the bad done to me and try an find ways to help others from ever feeling the way I feel a lot of the time.

Now one of my main problems in life is my sever anxiety, having someone attack me so… viciously like that, to go onto another account to verbally abuse me on my own page, to then use that account to also message me abusive messages at the same time, while also trying to do the same on MY blog.

You’ve put me in the position where I am never going to offer my help to you again and if you do contact me again in anyway then I will be getting the police involved, as that is very scary and unacceptable behaviour.

I accept your apologises and I truly hope you get the help you need and get better one day. But you have not gone about it right way and for that, there will be no further help or contact from me.

I know a lot of people what to see screen shots of his messages as I understand that something like that on twitter can be rather “exciting” for some, making you want to know more about the situation but I feel this post covers everything I wanted covered without releasing any of his personal information (nothing he wasn’t sharing last night- and other nights- so publicly on my page or his).

I really respect privacy and no matter the wrong he did with his words that does not warrant me to release the messages he sent to me in confidence. So I will not be sharing any screen shots of his messages/comments nor will I be talking more on this matter.

I understand that when becoming a mental health blogger/advocate that I would be open to such situations however I didn’t expect it so quickly and its not something we as people – as human beings with thoughts and feelings too – have to put up with. I want this to be where it belongs now, in the past and hopefully situations like this come very few and far.

With all that being said I hope that this doesn’t steer people away from seeking help online and I hope this doesn’t seer people from trying to help people online. It’s not a pleasant thing when something like this happens but as with all things you have to take the good with bad and push on through it.

So please if you are feeling as though you can’t or have no one to talk to then please don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health blogger/advocate as we are happy to help in anyway we can!

And if you would like to seek helps, advice or just a listen ear then please feel free to contact me at:

Twitter – @Tinkableeblog

Instagram – @Littletinkablee

Facebook – LittleTinkablee

Email – littletinkable@gmail.com

I want to thank everyone who too the time to contact me and message me and those who left those lovely and kind comments for me. You’ll never know how much appreciate your support and it really is people like you that help keep me going. So, from my very soul and the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.