To the strong woman who raised me…Thank you!

Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best person for buying presents, I stress over them too much and end up settling so as to avoid feeling bad if the person doesn’t like the gift I bought. And despite working on becoming an author and full time writer, I’m also not the best with words ( The irony isn’t lost on me either ).

I suppose I’m good with writing my words down, but to actually try and voice them out? You have a better chance at me crying gold than expressing myself properly. I never feel as though the words I say and the gifts I buy does justice on just how thankful me and my siblings are to have such a strong and independent woman raising us. So I wanted to instead dedicate a blog post to the one woman in my life that has shown me no matter how dark a day may seem, no matter how hopeless you may find yourself, there is reason to keep pushing forwards. She has shown me not to let others dictate what I do, she’s taught me not to let the opinions of others get to you (good or bad) as that is all they are, opinions not facts.

My beautiful mother after her first operation

So without further a due I would like to start of by saying… Thank you, mam. Thank you for being the mum we needed, thank you for being the dad that wouldn’t be there and for being the shoulder to cry on through hard times. Thank you for becoming out best friends so we felt comfortable enough to confined in you when we needed to as I was aware of just how rare that was when I was younger.

I used to have a lot of people feeling bad for me when they realised that it was just my mum that raised me but what they didn’t realise was that I also felt bad for them because they would never have the same bond or connect with their mother as I do with mine. It baffled me when girls would tell me the things they kept from their mum and I’d be sat there like…she’s the first person to hear about this stuff. I remember being in year 7 and I still used the threat of “I’m going to tell my mum on you!” whenever I had a problem with someone. To me, my mum was the baddest most invisible person you could ever come across, the best person to have on your side and the worst person to have as an enemy of any kind. And it doesn’t matter how much older I get, what the world has to shown me and the things that we experience, I still think that about her to this day, probably more so now than I ever did then.

Watching and being able to understand all that she has gone through, all that she is going through and all that is willing to go through just for her children makes me proud to tell everyone that woman right there, she’s my mum and she’s my dad and best friend wrapped up into one perfectly imperfect woman. I wouldn’t change a single crazy, wacky, Gothic trait my mum has in her body.

Mam you are always the voice of reason, the calm in our storm, the best friend we all so desperately seek out and the best mother anyone could ask for. Watching you go through what you have and still coming out on top (even when it may not seem like it) is one of the most inspiring things that we get to witness daily from you. And I know that it is you, your strength and no nonsense attitude that has helped Courtney into becoming the young woman she is today, through your strength she was able to to find her own and harness that to her advantages. You have help Jod become the amazing and caring mother she is today, living with such a protective mother you are unconsciously giving her the tools she needs to help her become who she is, you have help shown her what it takes to be a good mother. By giving all the love and support you have & reminding that you are always there when needed.

You have helped the younger kids in more ways than you could possibly ever understand. Growing up in such a chaotic and confusing era to know that they have someone who knows them inside and out it there on their side, no matter what..? It’s one of the best gift you could had anyone. And I know that they know how lucky they are to have you as their mother.

And lastly… You have helped me beyond measure. Knowing that there was someone I could always talk, about any and everything is one of the greatest things you have ever done for me. There have been a lot of times where I don’t think I wouldn’t have made it out by myself if I didn’t have someone like you to talk and vent to. You have shown me to be hard, to be truthful and take no bullshit, while still being kind and to help those who need or can’t help themselves. You have taught me that no matter how small you feel, if someone is in need of help you go help them and if you get your ass kicked helping that person then you take it with pride, you work on what went wrong and then you go make things right.

You taught me the value in our words and the power that they carry. You were and still are the dad I always needed and the mother that anyone would be lucky to have. You are the inspiration behind my dreams, if it wasn’t for your passion for words, for helping others and being independent I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to pursue my dreams of becoming an author. I don’t even think I would have the guts to even admit my dreams to anyone. I never would have started my blog or even picked up a book if it wasn’t for you!

So to show my thanks for everything that you do for not only me but for my siblings written a little poem with clues/hints as to what your presents over the next few weeks are going to be. After the rough year you had last year and everything that is to come, we wanted to make this one a little more special for you.

(I will warn you though, this is the first time I have ever had to write a poem based around specific items so it is a little terrible but hopefully they’ll keep you guess -with hopefully a clue little or idea as to what it could be- until you receive your gifts)

The first is a fairy tale

with a little twist

it all may seem so innocent

with pages first kiss

The second likes to be pet

but be careful of their claws

And always keep in mind

never to forget

Some are cute and cuddly

and some are snugly and cute!

Now it’s time to change your fashion sense

to something new and fun

we have taken the time to find

you something cute with a little bit of sun

We know you like you colours

we know you love your vamps

but I have found you something

a little like a lamp!

Happy mother’s day to my one of a kind mammy. No matter how hard life may seem I know I always have you on my side to see me through just as you have me on your side. We all love you so very much! And can’t thank you enough for being you!

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day

So Today marks International Women’s Day. This is a day celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day where women are recognised for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political. The Charter of the United Nations, signed in 1945, was the first international agreement to affirm the principle of equality between women and men.

Since then women have come a long, long way from where we were then. We have a lot more freedom although there still seem to be so many obstacles in the way, when looking back i’m slightly stunned by what we as women have achieved. In honour of International Women’s Day I thought I’d write a post on inspirational women. Now there is without a doubt countless of inspirational women out there but for me my inspiration is drawn from my mother and younger sisters.

My mum has forever been the one person I know I can relay on, she’s always been there for me. Through the worst decisions of my life to some of the best, she’s pushed me forward when all I wanted to do was step back. She’s manage to be my mum, dad, best friend, protector and therapist all in one go. She’s never once stopped me from doing something I’ve wanted to do, she’s always stood by and supported me through my decisions however good or bad, just giving me advice whenever she could.

I have watched my mum fight some dark demons from past and present and she still continues to fight them to this day, and the amount of respect I have for the strength she always seems to managed to find is almost as much as the love I have for her. I would never trad a single quirky, Gothic, erratic and caring trait of hers. Her imperfections and perfections are what makes her such an amazing mum and I could never ask for a better one, I’ve never needed anything because of her, even when I was blind to that. (Pesky teenage hormones )

I say my sisters are also inspirational women is because although two have yet to make it into ‘womanhood’ they have all been through so much, are going through so much and coming out the other side better than I ever would. The way my sisters just take the bad and shake it off is so… admirable. I have a break down when I can’t find a pair of matching socks!

Not only that but they have also been there for me, when I have been sad and I think I’m hiding that I’m sad I’ll suddenly get a hug out of nowhere, a piece of paper slipped under a door with a drawing. They know what to say what to do to make me smile and I’m so proud of the woman and young girls that they are growing up to be. They don’t see it, or realise just how amazing they are but I know and now the rest of my readers do too!

And they are all so creative and smart! I spent 3 years using the internet, youtube and books I could get my hands on teaching my self to play the keyboard and another two-three learning how to play the piano. But my little sister taught herself how to play twinkle little start in one evening just by using sound! She didn’t search up the keys, the notes or what order to play them she played every single note, listen to every little sound until she made a sound that sounded like Twinkle little Star.

My other sister has self taught drawing, something I too tried at one point but quickly lost all passion for it when I realised I just wasn’t any good at it. But my sister has perfected the art of teaching herself to draw, she has spent many hours drawing and re-drawing the same picture until it looked right to her. She has over come so many things in her life through bullies to unexplained emotions to growing up. She’s put me to shame with her strength and reserve in continuing on no matter how hard things seem.

And then my youngest sister, being through so much already at a young age with medical issues the doctors had told my mum and step dad that my sister would never be able to walk, talk , crawl or be her own person due to complications but at the age of one my sister had them all gobsmacked when she was talking, crawling and learning how to walk! She’s always acted older than her age and I believe my sister has one of those old soul. She’s very academic, she’s so very clever and bright and recently she’s dabbled in art and the practice of yoga.

These women have been there throughout the best and worst of my life, the have stuck by me and have helped me through some pretty bad times and I couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t who they are now. I’d never change a single thing about them and can only hope that as they get older, as the world keeps turning people too will recognise just how special they are too.

Me and my brother sat with my three younger sisters and my mother on Christmas Eve three years ago.

I hope this opens your eyes to the women around you and the women in your lives and makes you realise what little gift they are to have in your life. Don’t take them for granted, take care in what they say and believe them when they say they care. Women can be your best friend or your worst nightmare its all in how we are treated and how much respect we are shown.

Show us respect and you might be surprised by the out come that will have.

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