To the strong woman who raised me…Thank you!

Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best person for buying presents, I stress over them too much and end up settling so as to avoid feeling bad if the person doesn’t like the gift I bought. And despite working on becoming an author and full time writer, I’m also not the best with words ( The irony isn’t lost on me either ).

I suppose I’m good with writing my words down, but to actually try and voice them out? You have a better chance at me crying gold than expressing myself properly. I never feel as though the words I say and the gifts I buy does justice on just how thankful me and my siblings are to have such a strong and independent woman raising us. So I wanted to instead dedicate a blog post to the one woman in my life that has shown me no matter how dark a day may seem, no matter how hopeless you may find yourself, there is reason to keep pushing forwards. She has shown me not to let others dictate what I do, she’s taught me not to let the opinions of others get to you (good or bad) as that is all they are, opinions not facts.

My beautiful mother after her first operation

So without further a due I would like to start of by saying… Thank you, mam. Thank you for being the mum we needed, thank you for being the dad that wouldn’t be there and for being the shoulder to cry on through hard times. Thank you for becoming out best friends so we felt comfortable enough to confined in you when we needed to as I was aware of just how rare that was when I was younger.

I used to have a lot of people feeling bad for me when they realised that it was just my mum that raised me but what they didn’t realise was that I also felt bad for them because they would never have the same bond or connect with their mother as I do with mine. It baffled me when girls would tell me the things they kept from their mum and I’d be sat there like…she’s the first person to hear about this stuff. I remember being in year 7 and I still used the threat of “I’m going to tell my mum on you!” whenever I had a problem with someone. To me, my mum was the baddest most invisible person you could ever come across, the best person to have on your side and the worst person to have as an enemy of any kind. And it doesn’t matter how much older I get, what the world has to shown me and the things that we experience, I still think that about her to this day, probably more so now than I ever did then.

Watching and being able to understand all that she has gone through, all that she is going through and all that is willing to go through just for her children makes me proud to tell everyone that woman right there, she’s my mum and she’s my dad and best friend wrapped up into one perfectly imperfect woman. I wouldn’t change a single crazy, wacky, Gothic trait my mum has in her body.

Mam you are always the voice of reason, the calm in our storm, the best friend we all so desperately seek out and the best mother anyone could ask for. Watching you go through what you have and still coming out on top (even when it may not seem like it) is one of the most inspiring things that we get to witness daily from you. And I know that it is you, your strength and no nonsense attitude that has helped Courtney into becoming the young woman she is today, through your strength she was able to to find her own and harness that to her advantages. You have help Jod become the amazing and caring mother she is today, living with such a protective mother you are unconsciously giving her the tools she needs to help her become who she is, you have help shown her what it takes to be a good mother. By giving all the love and support you have & reminding that you are always there when needed.

You have helped the younger kids in more ways than you could possibly ever understand. Growing up in such a chaotic and confusing era to know that they have someone who knows them inside and out it there on their side, no matter what..? It’s one of the best gift you could had anyone. And I know that they know how lucky they are to have you as their mother.

And lastly… You have helped me beyond measure. Knowing that there was someone I could always talk, about any and everything is one of the greatest things you have ever done for me. There have been a lot of times where I don’t think I wouldn’t have made it out by myself if I didn’t have someone like you to talk and vent to. You have shown me to be hard, to be truthful and take no bullshit, while still being kind and to help those who need or can’t help themselves. You have taught me that no matter how small you feel, if someone is in need of help you go help them and if you get your ass kicked helping that person then you take it with pride, you work on what went wrong and then you go make things right.

You taught me the value in our words and the power that they carry. You were and still are the dad I always needed and the mother that anyone would be lucky to have. You are the inspiration behind my dreams, if it wasn’t for your passion for words, for helping others and being independent I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to pursue my dreams of becoming an author. I don’t even think I would have the guts to even admit my dreams to anyone. I never would have started my blog or even picked up a book if it wasn’t for you!

So to show my thanks for everything that you do for not only me but for my siblings written a little poem with clues/hints as to what your presents over the next few weeks are going to be. After the rough year you had last year and everything that is to come, we wanted to make this one a little more special for you.

(I will warn you though, this is the first time I have ever had to write a poem based around specific items so it is a little terrible but hopefully they’ll keep you guess -with hopefully a clue little or idea as to what it could be- until you receive your gifts)

The first is a fairy tale

with a little twist

it all may seem so innocent

with pages first kiss

The second likes to be pet

but be careful of their claws

And always keep in mind

never to forget

Some are cute and cuddly

and some are snugly and cute!

Now it’s time to change your fashion sense

to something new and fun

we have taken the time to find

you something cute with a little bit of sun

We know you like you colours

we know you love your vamps

but I have found you something

a little like a lamp!

Happy mother’s day to my one of a kind mammy. No matter how hard life may seem I know I always have you on my side to see me through just as you have me on your side. We all love you so very much! And can’t thank you enough for being you!

March. Mother’s Month

My beautiful mam holding her first daughter 💞

So this isn’t going to be like my other’s posts but it’s just as important as my other posts and since March is the month of mother’s day I felt it fit in perfectly.

So I was originally going to post about my eating disorder today as it’s eating disorder awareness week but instead, I got stuck with a different thought, a different post that I feel should be out on blog before I dive into my story. However I had collaborated with https://wellbeanblog.com/  in sharing a little about my story, so if you would like to check that out, just click here.

So the new topic I want to talk about today is Mothers. Everyone has one, whether you have a good relationship with them or not, whether you are a fortune to have yours still around or not, we all have or had a mother.

There’s is no one in the world I love more than my mother, the woman who has carried me in her belly for nine months, cared for me, fed me, bathed and clothed me. She’s always been my best friend whenever I needed one, my shoulder to cry one, my ear to talk to and is forever my protector.

There is nothing like a mother’s love, a mother’s care or a mother’s comforting words after a hard day. They’ve given up time, people and dreams to take care of a little creature that can’t yet understand that it’s alive.

And yet they are still so badly overlooked and taken for granted. We never take into account the emotional roller coaster we are forever keeping them on, or the constant worrying they do for our well being and safety no matter what age we are. A mothers love knows no bounds.

Now I’m not a mother myself and so I couldn’t tell what it feels like to have someone else’s little world on your shoulders, a little being that relied on you to be all knowing and indestructible and loving. I couldn’t tell you what it felt like to spend my days/nights constantly wondering if I was a good mother or not or wondering if I was making the right decision for someone else’s life. I’d say I’m personally pretty relieved not to have that hardship and emotional toll weighing on my shoulders.

As children, we never notice the pain and struggles our mothers go through and as adults, we slowly start to notice, we start to experience life and start to understand some of the things we couldn’t when younger.

I couldn’t thank my mother enough for the things she has done and the things she has gone through, I couldn’t thank her enough for loving me and my siblings with all her heart while at times hers was breaking.

We always say and do things in moments of anger that we often regret. But no one receives the worst end of that anger at times than our mothers, the women who are constantly our support system, ear to talk to, the person we find ourselves always going back to in moments of need or desperation. The one person we know we can go to no matter what we’ve done or what we’ve said. I think that is maybe why we take our anger out a little harsher on them than we would with anyone else because we’re aware that other people would leave and never come back but a mother? She’ll take the hurt, the pain, the horrible words and still give you that very much needed hug after a really bad day as though things had never been said. The love really does know no bounds.

Instead of celebrating your mother for Mother’s Day, Why not celebrate her for mother’s Month? I honestly don’t feel as though dedicating one day out of the WHOLE year is enough of thanks to the women who have carried us in their bellies and given us the lives we have now, giving us the opportunity to do and be whoever we want to be.

I think March is a great month to celebrate your mothers as it’s springtime on the 20th, a time where all the animals start to give birth to their little ones and all the flowers and colours are making a show. The whole month is about life and growth!

You don’t have to do or buy her anything big or expensive, buy her, her favourite chocolate, some flowers, a nice cushion, tell her you love her, write her a poem, go and visit her! See if there are any chores, any shopping, any cleaning that needs to be done. Mothers notice the little things and love them those most because it’s usually the little things that get in the from them being able to have “me time” or the little things that they are looking out for. Take her out make a point of dedicating a day for just you and her to do something she likes.

So guys go treat your mother’s this month and show them the love they deserve because you won’t get another mother. I’d love to know you’re thoughts on turning March into a month of celebration for mothers everywhere and don’t forget to like and share with your friends.

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