Bully Experience

Now if there is something in this world I can say without a shadow of a doubt I hate, it’s bullies. People who think and feel the need to tear down another person self-esteem and little world just to make themselves feel important and better than the other person.

People who think its okay to ruin the lives of others for your own person gain, not caring about the mental damage you are creating to that person. To the girls who think its “hard” and “cool” to walk around talking and acting like men , to the girls who feel the need to pick on all those pretty girls for having the right mindset and self-esteem built into them, to walk through their high school doors with no make up on or modification to their appearance. This is for the girls who feel its okay to pick on girls they feel haven’t done their make up right or expresses themselves differently and for the ones who think depression, suicide and self harm is a game or a cute little character trait.

This is for the boys who think its cool to hang around the younger kids, the ones who think its fine to corrupt them and make them think that being you is what they should aspire to be. This is to the boys who think its hard to beat a person, physically or mentally until they can no longer stand to see themselves in the mirror or even stand to be alive.

This if for the insecure bullies who try pointing and picking on people for having a flaw that you can’t stand about yourself, this is for the people who think its their life mission to make others around them feel as though they do. To make them feel small and unworthy to even live the life gifted to them.

You do not get anywhere by making yourself look “hard” or “cool”. Beating a person up just to look harder than the others is possibly one of dumbest things I have ever witnessed while growing up. To be that insecure about yourself that you need to put yourself out there so strongly as a person who shouldn’t be messed with? It just screams help. It screams to me that there are things going on that maybe you should be address properly and to a professional rather than taking your hurt/anger/pain out on others.

To obsess yourself over a person so much to make them hate themselves or want to kill themselves…that’s crazy behaviour, that is the type of thing that I would look for in a sociopath and to me that is all bullies are. Sociopaths.

It seems to me that bullies these days have managed to desensitise themselves from pretty much all emotions and thoughts regarding other people. The only time they feel what they think is a slither of happiness is when they’ve ruined someone else’s.

I used think of bullies as victims. Victims of circumstance and of bad upbringing or a lack of parenting on someone’s (or both) part. Now I’m really divided on the matter as I have come across bullies like that, who weren’t ever really shown what love, care or loyalty was so they express what they know which is what has always truly broken my heart about bullies. I know that they have been deeply wronged to have become so twisted, however I have also come across bullies who you wouldn’t think would be one, one’s with the opposite life from a hard upbringing.

In primary school I remember a particular bully I had to deal with. It was right after moving to Liverpool for the first time (so I was around 6-7 years old) and there was this little girl who was in all my classes and would follow me around on the school yard. She’d go out of her way to try and say nasty things to which I’d always respond with, “I’m telling my mam on you!” Before walking a way and finding others to play with. She didn’t particularly have any friends as she was always lashing out at people and the other kids were scared and intimidated by her.

One day she had come to school with a broken leg and wasn’t allowed outside during break times. Just as we were reaching our first break of the day, I had been approached by a teacher informing me that (Let’s call the girl Marie) Marie had requested that I be the person to stay with her during her breaks.

Now at first I didn’t know how to feel about that as I didn’t like being around the girl, she was a little horror at the time. But told the teacher that I would any way as I don’t do well with being asked things on the spot (Something I’m still working on). Anyway once the teacher left me to tell Marie the news I asked around the class room to see what the other kids thought and to see if maybe someone would take my place.

No one wanted to stay in during their break and no one really wanted to spend their break around the school bully and thus left me either telling the teacher I no longer wanted to or suck it up and follow through with my word.

I really don’t like breaking my word and so once I have agreed to something I like to follow through on it any way I can. I also had my mums voice in the back of my mind telling me not to judge people to harshly, that you never know what’s going on in their lives, plus I really couldn’t believe that she was acting like this for no reason at all. There had to be something making her want to lash out at people, a reason she was so angry all the time. The breaks were spent in silence as neither one of us knew what to say to each other. Eventually I got fed up of spending my breaks in awkward silence and decided to try and make conversation with her.

For a few month I done that, spending my breaks with the school bully, answering my friends question when they’d ask me what happened or what was it like spending all your breaks with Marie with “It’s not so bad.” We’d make small conversation and when the time came where she could have her cast removed the bullying had pretty much stopped (for me). I still spent some of time arguing with her when she was picking someone else when I was walking by but after that she pretty much left me alone and carried on about her business of being the school yard bully.

A good few years, 4-5 new houses and school later we ended up in the same high school. The girl had clearly not strayed from her bullying streak and even seemed to have gotten worse with it. One day we both had P.E together (one of the rare occasions that I would bring in my P.E kit) the teacher decided that we’d play football that day.

Marie seemed to be in a particularly bad mood and everyone was trying to keep a distance and not set her off. However she was started to really P*ss me off when she was kicking the ball as hard as she could at everyone. I started to do the same back to her which led to her saying an off had comment. I’d started walking towards her by this point and was asking what her problem was, Everyone had stopped trying (or should I say pretend as none of us other than a small few actually want) to play football and was watching us probably expecting a fight as that’s usually how confrontations went with Marie and just in general is how kids would deal with their confrontations as at that age everyone is to crazy-ed on their own hormones that they forget the fact they have a brain that could be used just as effectively.

However all we done was a bit of back and forth shouting at each other, I had eventually told her to go somewhere else to cool off because she was looking like a hot headed fool at the time and then the teacher came over. Me and Marie spoke a little after that, apologised and even became friends at one point before we both ended up going to different schools again and different directions again.

Through the time in trying to get to know her and befriend her I had come to learn that she had a really hard life back at home. Things were going on and had gone on that I couldn’t even imagine, things that would make me angry too.

After meeting her, it really made me take three steps back from people and view everyone as someone who has something going on. So when someone around me is angry or upset instead of responding with the same emotions as them as I’d like to or would have done, I step back and remember bad days happen and everyone has sh*t going on.

I’ve also come a cross a bully that hit anything in her path, no words needed or was said before she’d attack someone. This was coming from a girl who had a fairly normal up bringing, who pushed her family aside and decided that the street life suited her best.

Of course bullying doesn’t just happen with terrible words and painful jabs, it can be done by making people believe you are something you are not, they suck you in and make you believe that they are this sad person who just needs help, love and care. And so you give them that and you keep giving until you either have nothing left or they want the last thing you aren’t willing to give them. Bullying comes in all shapes and forms, physically, emotionally to mentally. I’ve had it all, I’ve been pushed past my limits and I’ve pushed through it all, as I will continue to do and show others they can too!

It’s when meeting people like that, that I question whether I am right to think all bullies are victims? Is it the internet? The fact we are so open to so much suffering and becoming desensitised too soon? It it the upbringing or is just something as simple as an evil personality? What makes bullies, become a bully. What makes them think they have the right to do something like that?

I’m sure we’ve all done and said things to someone that we regret, something that’s made us look like the bullies. But to dedicate day in and day out to do it, for years in or out of school? It’s just not normal, it’s not normal to obsess over the lives of others and attack someone just because you want what they have or you are jealous of them.

And to my siblings bullies, you can say hurtful words, you may even break them for a moment of your time but they are surrounded by loving and supportive people who won’t let the likes of low lives get to them the way you are trying to. The more bad days you try to give them the more good days we are determined to show them.

Bullies won’t break people. And it’s time they realised that, its time they realised that by trying to make someone a victim you are just making yourself look like a victim of bad personal circumstance

Please feel free to comment, share and like this post, don’t forget to subscribe to my email list and I hope you enjoyed reading. More than anything though I hope you can take something from my experiences and apply them to your day to day life whether that’s not to judge people (even those who hurt us), whether it’s to forgive those who hurt us or maybe this has made you realise that you have not been the best person you can be and it’s changed how you look at the bad. Either way I hope to see you all back again on my next post!

Name calling never bothered me anyway

This experience is told and was lived my Lauren. A bibliophile and owner of a book blog called ‘Readers Enjoy Authors Dreams‘. (click the name to be directed to her amazing blog!)

I used to get bullied because of the way that I looked, in the bullies opinion I had a big forehead and used to get called names like ‘five head’, ‘alien’ and ‘boom head’ the name calling was occasionally accompanied by a slap on the forehead.

This first started in year three I went to a private school and I used to cross paths with some of the older boys.

They used to call me ‘five head’ at the time I didn’t know what was going on so I shrugged it off and thought nothing of it.

My parents moved so I moved to a normal secondary school where the bullying became worse every day walking around from year seven to eleven I would get ‘forehead’, ‘boom head’ and ‘five head’ shouted at me on a daily basis even if I wasn’t in school.

I will admit at the beginning of year nine it made me feel so ugly and so annoyed that I was different from everybody else because of the way I looked slightly different.

I remember one day in year eleven I was sat talking to a friend about being bullied and I realised that I had been called the same names over and over again most of my academic life and

I laughed at the fact that they couldn’t think of anything new to say.

Name calling is something I’ve never understood. What exactly are you getting out of it? Other than letting us know how small your vocabulary is… It’s great to know that those name calling school kids never got you down for long, its amazing that you were able to let those comments bounce off you like they are nothing, because that’s what they are nothing. Words made to make you feel bad because they feel bad or unhappy with themselves.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Lauren and if anyone would like to read it in full CLICK HERE to be directed the full post on Lauren’s blog.

And if you would like to take part and share your experience and show others that bullies never win in life (whether that’s cyber bullies or bullies in real life) then please feel free to email me at: Littletinkable@gmail.com and don’t forget to add a short Bio, any pictures and social links you’d like me to add. Or you can do this completely anonymous.

School Bullies.

  
So hey! My name is Madara. I’m a blogger from Latvia. I’m 16 years old and I’m here to tell you my experience with bullies and bullying.

My bullying experience started in first grade…Harsh, I know. As I am different from most Latvians I got bullied a lot. My skin color is a bit darker than an average Latvian. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I look a bit like someone who comes from Asia and that is because my dad’s dad is from Kazakhstan.

  People used to say that I’m Chinese. They called me a chineezer. It didn’t offend me because I was raised with an idea that we are all human beings no matter what is your skin color, religion,  sexuality, nationality etc. At that age I didn’t understand why would they think I’m Chinese. Of course later on I realised that I look a bit like an Asian person. They would make all these jokes about me. Yes, there were times when I cried about it. But now I know that they were just not educated enough to know the difference form a Chinese person, Korean person or any other person form Asia.

  Later on I changed schools and started playing piano at a professional music school in Riga. But to get in I would have to go to first grade again, because my piano skills weren’t enough to get in second grade. So I went to first grade twice.

People still make fun about that but I don’t really care, because I went to that school I am now studying with basically straight A’s.

   Yes, I was bullied in that school. Again with the Chinese stuff among a lot of other. There were times when boys would lift my skirt up or try to pull it down in front of a lot of people. That made me feel really uncomfortable. There were times when my classmates would throw my stuff around the class.

They did a lot of mean things.

And I always told my parents about them.

  I am lucky to have such understanding and protective parents.

They always called the teacher and got the situation all sorted out. There were times when my classmates ended up in the principal’s office. Looking back at it now, they were just kids who were insecure about themselves so they took it out on me.

  After fourth grade I decided I didn’t want to play the piano anymore so I left that school and went back to my old school. I mean of course I wasn’t in my last class. Of course I got new classmates because I was a grade lower then all my ex classmates. In fifth class…That’s when the real hell started. I was and always have studied very, very good. But I never thought that people would think that was bad or that I’m cheating.

At that age I was also pretty tall. I’m still pretty tall, but that is because my whole family is, so there wasn’t really an option for me to be short. People in that school were short. There were only a couple of people that were taller than everyone else. I was one of them. So of course people thought it would be fun to make jokes about it and bully me with it. I was constantly called giraffe. I honestly don’t remember a day when I would walk through school and the line “OH LOOK! The tall one is coming!”

would not have been heard. At that time I was insecure about it, but in time I started embracing it.

If anyone would ask me how the weather up there is I would tell them that it is sunny and warm unlike it is down there for them. That was one of my most popular comeback to when people were making fun of me. I was also really thin…But again…it’s in my DNA. So I would also be called anorexic.

   People also called me a nerd because I was a straight A student.

They would throw my stuff around school. They started making fun about me on “Instagram” when I was in 7th grade. They would constantly put me on class group chat and then kick me out.

They would make memes from my pictures. They would film me and take pictures when they are not allowed to.

   Also I started training in  Volleyball in 7th grade and I progressed really fast.

Girls would try to hide my clothes in the showers after sports class. They would put my backpack in the garbage bin. They would tell rumours about me all the time. These were just some of the things that happened.

I did tell my parents, I did go to my class head teacher. You want to know my experience with the school system and bullying?

  THEY DON’T CARE! I literally had a blue eye once because a girl hit me. What did the school do? They sent us to talk to the social teacher. Then we went to the principle. We talked…Like a lot.

WE were supposed to go start talking to the psychologist. But I guess karma did the work on her. At the time when we were supposed to have a meeting with the psychologist she was taken to the hospital. I don’t quite know what was wrong with her though. When she got back we started having these meetings. Did they help? NO! She kept saying that she didn’t hit me even though that was seen by like 12 people. So no progress happened. After they realised that it was not working they took us both to the principle. WE had a long and exhausting talk there. After that she finally calmed down.

    I left that school and got into a sports gymnasium in 8th grade.

My ex classmates made fun about me online, but I’m guessing that is because they were jealous and couldn’t get a life on their own. 

MY last class, my gymnasium class was fantastic. NO arguments happened there.

But I’m guessing that’s because everyone was too busy doing sports and improving and they didn’t have time for that.

   Flash forward to now… I’m in an online school and I love it. I have more time to blog and improve my other skills. I don’t do sports anymore because of an injury.

Does that mean that they stopped bullying me? No. The classmates I had from 5th to 7th grade still try to tear me down. Does it work? No. Because I know that I’m not what they are saying that I am. I know my worth. I work hard to get where I am. I work hard to be who I am and I’m not going to stop because a group of people think I should fail. Some of them even still follow me on social media… I guess they are really obsessed with my life.

  What have I learned? Bullies bully you for one of few reasons…1) they are jealous. 2) They know they can’t be you. 3) You have something or you are do something that they can’t. Does that give them the right to bully you? NO! Does that give them the right to try and kill you with words? NO!

But you have to understand that you are not what they are calling you. You don’t need to prove them anything. You just got to do you and keep on going. Do what you love, show what you are doing to the world, and don’t forget to smile. Trust me. Your enemies hate that.

   So do you! And don’t be ashamed of who you are. Embrace who you are!

It’s such a terrible experience what you’ve gone through but I think everyone can agree that just your amazing and positive attitude. )I also played a little piano when I was in high school and really enjoyed…for a time ). And it just goes to show just what jealousy can do to people, even young children, especially young children. . With the internet at their hands they don’t even realise the terrible obsessions they are bringing to themselves, such as ‘internet stalking’ someone for years, I too have had my fare share of ‘internet stalkers’ and I can say that it never amazes me the amount of free times they’ll make just to check out one of my social medias, or blog posts.

I love your last message at the end! And I find it so amazing that you’ve managed to over come such disgusting treatment. I wish you well with your online course! If you would like to check out any of Madara social pages then click on one of the links below and don’t for get to check out her blog!

Blog – Home page : https://jancenkomadara.wixsite.com/website

Madara’s – Instagram page

Madara’s Twitter – @MJancenko

Madara’s – youtube channel

Can teachers be bullies?

I’m having a tough time with my child’s teacher. It went from her telling us that she prefers the girls over the boys (I have a boy) at our conference in December, to her questioning me about why I didn’t bring him to the holiday concert after school because she knows we went to the movies that night. I told her we had already bought the tickets and that he choose to go to the movies that night because he didn’t want to go to the holiday concert. Then I walked away and got angry… Is she questioning my parenting? And if so, then maybe it’s time I start questioning her teaching. What I do with my children after school hours is none of her damn business. Her job is to teach my child in a safe environment and currently he is having anxiety just going to school because he feels like he is constantly being targeted by her and getting in trouble. Why is that?

One day she took his chap stick away because he got up to go get it without asking.

He raised his hand and she wouldn’t call on him. Which has happened before.

He needs his chap stick right now, he has a very dry irritation under his lip (which is clearly visible) and he needs the chap stick to sooth and protect it.

She should not have taken it away.

Yesterday she wouldn’t let him go to the nurse when he asked because he had a headache. They were going to recess and it’s weirdly warm and springy that day so,

he was trying to tell her that the humidity would make his headache worse but she yelled at him to get his jacket and go outside.

So, he cried and she said that she was finished talking to him and walked away. When I picked him up he was pale.

When we got home, he skipped dinner and went to bed and slept for 12 hours straight. He clearly did not feel well.

His teacher has also made comments about his hair being to long, and his winter jacket being to big. If she has an issue with the appearance of my child, she needs to tell me so I can tell her where to shove it, not say it to my child in front of the rest of the class.

We emailed the Principal and the Vice principle and we had a meeting. The principal was clearly upset with the way the teacher was with my son.

Even though my husband had already spoke to the vice principal about what was going on, the principal seemed to have no idea. She asked for 2 weeks to try to mediate the situation and see if she could make my son feel better about going to class.

The vice principal took it upon himself to call my son and the teacher out of class and gave the teacher a signal to do when she needed his attention, she would call him and tap her shoulder. One time is a warning, two times he’s in trouble and the third time he gets sent to the principal’s office. This didn’t sit well with my husband and I and we immediately sent off an email informing them that our son doesn’t have a “signal” to get the teachers attention and she routinely ignores him when he raises his hand,

and what they are creating was a form of entrapment,

which we are not cool with.

The principal looked into it and said that our son wasn’t getting in trouble, he was getting a chance to calm down. That still makes no sense. He’s upset because he needs to go to the bathroom and he’s raised his had for 20 minutes and the teacher isn’t calling on him. It’s not till he has to call out her name and then she will answer him.

The thing is, our kid is doing really well socially this year, in his class. Last year we had a student who was a bully picking on him when no one was looking. Even in that situation, they failed to do anything other then promise that this year he wouldn’t be in the same class as that child. Now, the kids are fine but the teacher is terrible.

Just last week my son had to cry to get sent to the nurse’s office again and it turned out that he actually had an ear infection.

I will be bringing this up at out parent teacher year end meeting this Thursday, which the principal will be in on.

There was also an issue with a little girl in school who told my son that the world would be better off without him and he agreed with her. She ended up telling the social worker and the social worker spoke to him. She called me and said that she did a risk assessment and he doesn’t have any plans or anything, he just said it.

I expected to have him tell me he didn’t mean it when I picked him up from school that day but he actually said that he was feeling so sad that day with everything going on with his teacher, and then the girl was being mean to him too, so he actually did feel like the world would be better off without him.

We had a huge heart to heart that night and I asked him if he wanted to find someone to talk to, he said yes.

We’re currently waiting for a therapist, we’ve already done all the intake stuff we’re just waiting on his first appointment. I think it will help him to have someone else to speak to and they might have better ways of dealing with these situations that they can teach him and my husband and I.

As of right now, my son seems to be better about going to school. There are 2.5 months left and I think he’ll be fine staying in this witch’s class. Every thing I hear now though goes straight to the principal. I need the paper trail because I assume, they are trying to create their own as well.

Can teachers be bullies? And then what do you do?

I will be updating this story on my blog.

My name is Jessica. My husband and I have a 9-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter. We are currently figuring out this whole parenting thing. I am currently working on my dream of being an author since the kids are getting older and I now have a little bit more free time. If you would like to support me, that would be awesome! I have a few books published on Amazon.

Wow. What can I say to that? Other than I personally do believe teachers can be bullies, I have come across a few teachers that have bullies through my years of moving schools (completely different reasons- my mum moved house a lot when I was younger). However the fact that they exists doesn’t excuse the fact that they should, teachers should be in more control of themselves when around children and if they can’t be then they shouldn’t be there. The fact that this teacher has brought a child into feeling that way is disgraceful and yet unfortunately none surprising as, as I said I have come across a few…bad teachers and so have my siblings.

I feel teachers need to be looked into more, schools need to change their ways. For they have gone from caring about their students, saftey, well being and education. Now it’s all numbers and figures. The system is broken and someone needs to step in and fix it. Other we are left with questions likes, ‘can teachers be bullies?’ -LittleTinkablee

Having Children and some things they don’t tell you – A few of my experiences from birth through kindergarten

Growing – Some rough stories from my life.

Kissing all the Frogs – My love story

Working My Way Through Life – Basically every job I have ever had and how it led me to the next.

I also have a blog: Please check it out and like and follow 😊 I post Monday through Friday (not holidays).

https://sambelstories.com/

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