Writing for myself Again

*Blogger Note*
I have never posted a post this late before but before going to bed I wanted to clear a few things up and thank the wonderful people that I have met on twitter for all they encouraging words and amazing support.

Me-Girl-Selfie-new post- writing - writer - writing for myself again - purple hair - alternative - blogger - mental health blogger - mental health - mental health matters - self portrait
Writing for myself again

As bloggers we want to see our blogs grow and thrive. We all have our own reasoning for wanting this but for me, bigger numbers/bigger viewers mean more people that I could possible help through my blog.

But, while trying to figure out ways to make my blog more attractive for other potential viewers and more interesting I’ve been majorly putting my mental health to the test because the truth is? I’m not all that interesting. I’m useless with technology and find that it annoys me more than I enjoy using it. I have a genuine fear of using technology outside, I won’t use card machines, I now won’t handle a bus ticket on the Arriva Buses as you know have to scan your ticket (I used to avoid getting the card for that reason), I won’t use a self serve till… there’s a lot I won’t do due to fear of it. What if I use it wrong? What if doesn’t work for me and everyone is staring at me? I HATE technology,

When I’m not house bound, I’m out early hours in the morning, or late at night on a walk with my boyfriend and Toby or sometimes we’ll go to a close friends house I have a family member out with me so I can do shopping.

The truth is despite how hard I try and fight my anxiety and all the overwhelming feelings that follow…It still wins. I’ve not figured out how to beat it, I’ve figured out how to have a few good days, sure but. But mostly? I’m riddle with anxiety to the point I am still throwing up in the middle of the days, my legs still go weak, my stomach still turns in knots and it makes it easier for depression to come along and sink it teeth into me.

If you follow me on twitter then you may or may not have seen my tweet that I posted out, one that I do apologise for. I usually try to stray away from social media when I start feeling like that as I don’t really want to be posting my negativity all out there, I want my accounts and blog to be a positive experience for everyone as I know how negative and toxic social media can be.

When my mental illnesses take over, my mental health suffers greatly for it, I end up in a vicious thought loop cycle. I feel so experienced in life, so boring and as though me and my blog has nothing to offer anyone that I get myself questioning why I’m even bothering? Am I even helping anyone? How can I even help people? These are only my words, my thoughts, my feelings…. It’s not anything special and it certainly isn’t anything interesting.

I had a little melt down, I don’t want to go into many details, but after I posted my tweet I retreated to my yoga in the hopes that it would help me…it didn’t. Neither playing with my cats or listening to music or reading, I just couldn’t stop my brain from doing over time enough to focus on the words.

This year I had a focus, a goals for myself. To change my lifestyle in the hopes of creating a more positive life or more positive days. But the past month or two I have failed in doing that.

me-girl-selfie-eating disorder - ED - purple hair - dyed hair - braids - braided hair - weight loss - mental health - mental health blogger - blogger

My eating has gone back down, I no longer snack, the drinks I’m drinking are more unhealthy than I am drinking healthy drinks, the healthiest drink I’m popping into my body is a glass of water and a glass or two of some kind of smoothie. My weight is back down more again, and what progress I was making in my work outs have all but disappeared because I all but stopped doing them. The only thing I have really kept on top of is my yoga but even that I have had to cut back on due to the lack of eating, so my energy levels have been really low lately.

And my family has been under extreme pressure with my little sister’s back surgery (and although she has/is in a lot of pain, she has been a little trooper), my mums one on the way soon and bunch of other things in the mix, its just been really hard to stay motivated and uplifted or positive.

I’ll be taking the weekend to regroup and refocus on myself and my blog. There are a few changes I want to make to it. I’ll still be doing my book reviews and product reviews but I’m going to be viewing them more as a hobby and I’m going to back to writing for me for a little while.

I’ll also be studying extra hard on my online college course while starting a new college course about crystal healing that I’m really excited about taking.

I’ll still be giving out tester candles to anyone who requests ones (for a free and honest review of course) .

My ‘Let’s Talk Pet Series’ and ‘My Bully Experience’ is still on going to anyone who wants their pets featured on my blog or to share their bully experience (to help inspire and show others that bullies never win, that trolls never win and that all their hate only strives our need to achieve our goals that much more stronger).

To submit your bully experience simply;
Email me at: Littletinkable@gmail.com
-Add your name
– short Bio of you
– Your bully experience
– And any pictures you would like added
-And any social media handles you’d like shared

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your bully experience all you have to do email me;
-Your name if you wish
– A short Bio (if you wish)
-Your bully experience
– Any pictures you would like added

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your bully experience on Littletinkablee then simply;
– Your Name
– A short Bio
-Your Bully experience
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-And any pictures you would like added

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

To submit your pet story simply;
Email me at Littletinkable@gmail.com;
-Add your name
– A short Bio of yourself
– Any websites and/or social media handles
– Your pet Story
-And of course some pet pictures.

If you aren’t a blogger wanting to send your pet story all you have to do is;
-Your name if you wish
-Your Pet Story
– And some pet pictures

If you are a writer or creator of ANY kind wanting to share your pet story on Littletinkablee then simply;
– A short Bio
– Any Social media handles or websites you’d like me to link back to
-Your name
-And of course pictures!

Please note that If you wish me to post your story/ies anonymously then please skipped the steps adding your information and simple send your story over with any pictures you would like added.

Also My GIVEAWAY is still running and will continue running until Thursday, Friday I’ll pick the winner and Monday I’ll post it off to the lucky person! See my post – Some Bookish/Candle news‘ for more details.

I want to thank everyone who has messaged me and sent me words of encouragement and uplifting/ kind words, I can’t express what that means to me and I’ll forever be grateful for all the kind and amazing people I have met through my short but continued blogging journey. I hope you all have had a better Friday than I did and have a lovely weekends ahead.
Goodnight!

Blogging Recognition Award

So once again I have been nominated for a blogging award this time by the amazing and ever so lovely Amy (whom I couldn’t thank enough!!) owner of Sassycatlady.com, a fantastic blog that I highly recommend you guys check out!

What is the ‘Blogger Recognition Award’ exactly?

For those who haven’t read my last one, or haven’t come across a post like this yet or have yet to be tagged, I’ll just state again what this award is all about.

So the ‘Blogger Recognition Award’ is an award given out by other remarkable and phenomenal bloggers who have recognised the hard work and creativity/ originality sewn into their blog and blog posts.

Of course like with all these fun and amazing awards there are rules put in place to assure that it is fair, fun and that everyone get the recognition deserved.

The Rules


  • Write a blog post to show the award
  • Acknowledge the blogger who has nominated you
  • Give a brief story to why you started your blog
  • Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers
  • Nominate at least 11 other fantastic bloggers who deserve the award!

Why I started my blogging journey


Before I had started this blog this year (4th February 2019) I couldn’t even message someone without hugely regretting it later, re-reading over my messages, wanting to take everything letter back, even if the message said as little as ‘hi’. I couldn’t bring myself to engage with other people on any level. I would spend my nights unable to sleep all because I thought I’d be able to message or comment on someone’s post.

But then I start this blog and I’ve found myself connecting with so many amazing, creative and just phenomenal group of people. I’ve found other ways to manage my anxiety, found more understanding in my mental health & illness problems, but more than that I have found my little drive for life again. I’m fighting a lot of invisible battles, a lot of it is unknown to me (but not for long) and I want my struggles, pain, fears, frustration, joy, small achievements, growth, good and bad moments to show through my blog.

I want people to see that through all the trail and error, the hopelessness and fighting oneself you CAN chase after your dreams and you CAN SUCCESS through a lot of hard work and not giving up or giving in.

I want to give back as much as I can. Something my mother always taught me while growing up and something that has always stuck was to help others who need/seek help. They way she would reason it to me was, “If you were in their shoes, what would you want you to do?”

I want to help spread more awareness on mental health and mental illness. The way I have decided I can best do that at the moment is by sharing mine and my experience/battle with it.

I want to help aspire others to chase after their dream (or as I like to say ‘write their dream.’). I want to help spread more positivity through the internet and help block out the negative/bad. I want to help other’s achieve their dream anyway I can, even if that’s just through continued support.

I created this blog to helped other authors get their books out there, to spread the word, to read more and connect with other people. I created this blog to help battle my own demons and show that the struggles (although incredibly difficult) is worth it. I created this blog to connect with other mental health fighters/ bloggers, to connect with other people battling their own demons and help support them, while learning new things about and new ways to cope with my own. I created this blog to help not only myself but other people, whoever they may be, whatever they may be going through.

I created this blog so people can know there is someone out there who does care about them, that there is someone out there who isn’t judging them, who DOES care about their health (both mental and physical) and well-being, who is here willing to just listen and to HEAR them. I created this blog to help achieve my dream and to spread my words, my voice, my thoughts, my…mind.

I’ve created this blog for so many reason and as the months grow on, so do my reasons for blogging.

The two pieces of advice I have for new bloggers are:

Do your research! You may not know it when going into it but blogging takes a LOT of work, time and effort. So many components go into making up your blog, I thought I had researched what I needed to know…boy was I wrong.

Here are 11 magnificent bloggers (never placed down in any particular order as they are all equally stupendous in their own ways) who have managed to keep my spirits high and blogging experience a great one but also produce some incredibly interesting, creative, original and simply astounding blog posts.

@EzziesBookshelf
@TheAnxiousTeac2
@PositivelyASD
@Beautyofmychao1
@LovePopcorn6
@Jessling1205
@Mahikswordworld
@AnnahMariahRuby
@cats_herding
@UnwantedLife_Me
@frantasmagoria1

I would just like to thank you all for taking the time to read my post and I hope everyone has a lovely week :D.

The Liebster Award

Before I start I just want to say thank you so much Hannah for nominating me for such a lovely award!

The Rules:

  • Simply, give a shout out to the blogger that nominated you for this award and make sure to link back to their blog
  • Write 11 facts about yourself
  • Don’t forget to post the award on your blog
  • And, answer the fun questions set up by the blogger amazing enough to nominate you
  • After that, Nominate 11 amazing bloggers who you feel deserve this award and don’t forget to tag them to help spread the blogging love

11 Random facts about me

I am deathly afraid of moths (though I feel as though I’ve mention this one somewhere before)

Until this year I never really watch T.V other than adult cartoons.

I’ll eat anything chocolate

I have three cats but want more in the future. (I highly doubt my boyfriend could cope with another cat in the around though!)

It’s no secret that I LOVE purple. But I also really like the colours Green and Blue.

I love books! But when I was a teen you would only ever find me reading things to do with vampires, werewolves and anything supernatural/paranormal.

I LOVE baking but HATE cooking.

I’m obsessed with anything tiny and/or cute. If it’s small I’ll more than likely impulse buy it and regret it later while taking loads of pictures of it…

When I was younger I used to refused to wear shoes unless they had some kind of heel that made that click/clomp sound as you walked by.

In truth, at heart, I’m still that little girl that only wants to wear loud high heels but now with my anxiety I can’t handle it as I feel it draws far too much attention to me.

And, lastly, I’m not at all an interesting person ๐Ÿ™‚ .

11 Questions by Hannah

(1) If you could wake up in any fictional world, where would it be?

Any fictional world that has a unicorn. If I ever got to meet one, I’m pretty sure I’d become the happiest person alive.

(2) You can suddenly talk to just one species of animal, which would it be?

Umm, Cats. Purely because I’d really love to know what my cats are trying to say to me all the time.

(3) What’s the first memory you can remember?

Umm, being about five/six and running off to the skate park to do some skating, before venturing out into the “forbidden” Woods. I can’t really remember why everyone parents told us not to go in there, I loved it over there and even ended up creating my own little den for me and my friends when I was little older.

(4) What type of decor do you really need more of in your home/living space?

Books, I love decorating every room in books ๐Ÿ˜› .

(5) You get a superpower of your choice, but you have to trade in three of your skills or positive traits. Which superpower do you get, and what do you trade for it in return?

I don’t trade anything or gain anything because my anxiety wouldn’t let me handle having a superpower.

(6) If you could only watch one movie ever again for the rest of your life, which would it be?

School of Rock without even thinking about it!

(7) Think back to your favourite place you’ve ever been. Where was it. and why did you love it so much?

The woods. Because it’s full of nature, animals, insects and critters, colours, peaceful sounds and usually no people.

(8) What are your most important goals that you’re focusing on right now?

  • Helping others through my blog
  • Writing my novel
  • Getting my candles out there into the world
  • Growing my blog and social media’s
  • Continue learning more about certain mental health topics
  • Gaining some control over my anxiety and depression
  • Keep focusing on getting healthier
  • Getting myself to the point I can up my yoga practice and do more demanding positions
  • Reconnecting with myself
  • Not to loose myself through my mental health again
  • Continue re-learning to do all the things I used to love, e.g, Reading a lot more, writing my own poems and lyrics again, drawing again, playing the piano/keyboard again and focusing more on the things that use to give me joy
  • And just in general to make it through each month without giving up or giving in.

(9) Would you rather never eat your favourite food again or never see your favourite animal again?

Never eat my favourite food again, I don’t have a great relationship with food as it is, but I do with my pets. I couldn’t bare not seeing them ever again!

(10) If you could learn any language, which would it be and why?

Gaelic, I’m not actually sure why.

(11) What’s a difficult lesson learnt in life that you’re now grateful for?

Not to judge a book by its cover. Which goes both ways, just because someone looks and acts good at first doesn’t necessarily mean they are and just because someone looks or acts bad doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad.

My 11 Questions for my nominee’s

What is you’re all time favourite book? Something you could read again and again?

  1. Do you chew your pens/pencils?
  2. What is your song of the week?
  3. What was your favourite childhood cartoon?
  4. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
  5. Have you ever been to a concert?
  6. What was your first ever concert?
  7. Are you named after anyone? (Example, family member, celebrity, Place).
  8. What was your favourite school subject?
  9. What is one hobby you would like to take?
  10. Do you any irrational fears?
  11. What are you looking forward to this year?

My Nominee’s

@KaraleeCupcake
@Jessling1205
@Missjoblogger
@Laurenreads1
@ChloechatsBlog
@BestieTalksBlog
@frantasmagoria
@jofalltradesb
@UnwantedLife_Me
@nyxiesnook
@Femenish

The SunShine Blogger Award

So, two weeks ago I was nominated for another Sunshine Blogger Award which has made my month! In April I was awarded two of these by two very amazing bloggers (click here to read it). Naomi -creator of Inchingforwards.com – and Leo -creator of Theanxiousteachtwo.home.blog – whom I think you should all check out because they are both so supportive and really great bloggers.

I would like to thank @Amy_May_J, an amazing woman who may just love cats as much as I do! Also, creator of her wonderful blog Sassycatlady.com

Amy likes to blog about General Lifestyle and things based around her life. And you can check that out by Clicking Here.

If you love interesting and intriguing blog posts then go, follow her at: Sassycatlady.com (what are you waiting for?) Iโ€™ve really enjoyed every single post that Amy has posted on to her blog Sassycatlady.com and know that you will too!

The Rules of The SunShine Blogger Award are simply:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and donโ€™t forget to link back to their site
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by your nominators
  • Nominate at least 11 more bloggers for the award
  • Write 11 new, creative questions for your nominees to answer
  • Notify your nominees via social media or by commenting on their blog
  • Lastly, List the rules and display The SunShine Blogger Award logo on your site or in your post

Amy’s questions –

Why did you get into blogging?


I got into blogging as a way to help me overcome a few of my fears, help others who suffer and battler mental health illnesses too and pursue my dream careers.

What music are you currently into?

I’m also into the same songs I was when i was a teenager, I love a lot of different variety of music. Though I do really enjoy listening to a lot of David grey, Post Malone, Carrie Underwood, Bebe Rexha, Imagine Dragons, Pink, Boyce Avenue (cover songs), Hozier, Ed Sheeran, The Cranberries, Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz and so forth.

I can go from Ed Sheeran to Hollywood Undead in seconds.

Who do you look up to the most?


My mum. Anyone who knows me or has been following my blog or following me on twitter @Tinkableeblog will know my first answer is my mum. She’s always been the person I’ve looked up to, has always been there for me and still continues to be my most supportive cheerleader. But, also my older sister. I remember when I was younger and I always wanted to be like my older sister, she’s always been so beautiful and talented and very witty, I wanted to follow her around everywhere she went.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?


The best piece of advice I have ever been given has been off my mum, ‘You can’t please everyone, so start with pleasing yourself, even if you think it will displease me. Because at the end of the day you are responsible for your happiness, not for everyone else’s.’

What was the best holiday you’ve ever been on?


Visiting my Uncle in Barry. This must have been when I was 6 or 7…maybe even a little younger or older I’m not too sure as I have terrible memory (another reason why writing is a big part of my life). Me, my mum and siblings spent a week there I think and we went to the beach and fair ground with so many colourful and flashy rides! I had the best time that week, plus he had two dogs (brother and sister) whom I just adored!

What are you most proud of?

Finally following through on starting my blog, as well as my childhood dream job of becoming a author.

What’s your favourite TV Show to binge watch?


I haven’t really watch TV since being in my early teens but me and my boyfriend will watch a few shows now and again. We are currently in the middle of binge watching Grimm and Lucifer. I used to really like watching Friends and still watch The Big Bang Theory (I am so sad to see it come to an end!). I also watch Young Sheldon, and A LOT of cartoons. I really love Archer (New season starts in two days!), Rick and Morty (who have finally announced their release date for November), and Big Mouth.

What makes you laugh the most?


I honestly don’t have an answer for this question as said as it may seem. But I have never taken much notice of myself and with my depression it makes it incredibly hard for me to notice the good things in life, it makes it hard to spot the things that make me laugh the most.

What would be your dream job be?


Counsellor/Author

Who is your favourite Disney character?


I don’t have a favourite, there are too many Disney characters to just have ONE favourite. But my favourite Disney films are, ‘The Beauty and The beast’, ‘Peter Pan/Tinkerbell’ and ‘Snow white’…oh and ‘Bambi!’

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?


If I started writing this list, I’d have to start on a completely new blog post, there’s just too many I’d invite!

My Nominees are:

@TimeToTalk

@Beautyofmychao1

@nyxiesnook

@Jack_Deyes

@theminismallho1

@Natalie_Sharpp

@Fraersfunhouse

@Sillyscrapbook

@ThePreppingWife

@KimyLeatherwood

@girl_Importance

My Questions:

  1. What Personality trait has gotten you the most in trouble?
  2. If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would you pick?
  3. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?
  4. Would you rather be laughing uncontrollably for the rest of your life or uncontrollably crying?
  5. If you could ask your pet 3 questions, what would they be?
  6. Whats a great book you’ve read recently?
  7. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the sound track?
  8. As a child, what did you wish to become when you grew up?
  9. Which is better – A novel or a movie?
  10. If Mars was liveable, would you accept a one-way ticket there?
  11. Whats one pet peeve of yours that you wish that you could get rid of – because it hampers your enjoyment of life?

Again I would like to sincerely thank those who nominated me this award, as I believe they are a great way of getting to know more bloggers while acknowledging their amazing blogs and the hard work we all put into them.

Announcement

This wasn’t what I wanted for today’s post but I’ve been having an incredibly difficult day today and to top the cherry off all my work for today’s post never got saved, leaving me post-less for the day and having to spend the night writing today’s and tomorrows post.

I just want to thank everyone for their on going and continuing support as I learn to open up about my mental health. I’m not really great with my words (ironic coming from someone who has spent her whole life writing them down) but I’m not great at expressing my emotions very well, even less so when trying to use words out loud without writing them down and not being given the time to over analysing them for days first.

But opening up, getting myself out there is something I have made my mission to do this year. Getting over my social anxiety of talking to people online was a big step I’m so happy I’ve manage to knock out of the park this year as before if someone would try to message me I’d block them with a racing heart. It genially gives me anxiety to just talk to someone, even through a message. But I’ve beaten that part of my anxiety this year which is so amazing and I truly am proud of myself for that. I’ve been isolating myself for years, the only one I’ve not managed to scare off is my boyfriend whom I love more than simply word/sentence could explain.

It’s your continued support, messages and comments that helps encourage me to keep going and to keep on my blogging journey. When starting my blog this year in February I couldn’t have prepared myself for the emotional, mental and even physical toll blogging would have on me in just a short amount of time. I went into this with the intentions of investing my all into this blog, my love, pain, sweat, tears, happiness, hope, everything that I have to offer. But I didn’t expect anything to truly happen until at least a year into blogging. I didn’t to gain so much attachment to it so quietly nor did I expect I’d have one person reading my post but now my blog has reached over 200 followers over the short course of time with such incredible viewers.

As stated above I have found dealing with today rather difficult. In all honesty the last two months I have been really struggling to feel the positivity and lightness that I’m trying to spread throughout my blog and social media accounts.

My depression has been trying to grip hold of me in it’s cold, claw like grip to drag me down a hole I no longer want to find myself in. In turn this has kicked my anxiety off into a totally different direction, which is only making my feel worse, and just feeding my depression and messy thoughts.

On top of that I haven’t stuck to my yoga or workouts the why I had planned, and my eating has gone back down, although when my doctor weighed me last week on Thursday I hadn’t lost any weight, I hadn’t gained any either, which is the usual story when it comes to my weight. I either lose it or I stay they same, no change. It get’s so unbearably frustrating sometimes and today I really wanted to give up on everything… I kind of still do but I’m hoping I’ll be able to push through this because I don’t want this blog to be yet another thing in my life that I loved and had taken over/away by my mental health.

I want to continue ‘writing my dream’ of becoming an author. I want to keep this drive to keep writing my novel, this drive to help others and write my posts. I don’t want to lose the one good thing I’ve managed to gain control of.

My mental health has literally taken over my life in every way it possibly could, I’m a slave to my mental health, a puppet whose strings are being controlled solely by my mental health. The only things is hasn’t taken from me is my family, my boyfriend and my pets.

This isn’t forever, I know that. I know some day I’m going to be able to beat all my demons and finally know what inner peace feels likes, one day I’m finally going to love myself and the world I’m in.

But right now I’m taking it one step at a time and today…today was bad step. But it’s okay, it’s okay because it just reminds me, well, I do have good day, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to identify the bad ones like I once wasn’t able to do.

Here’s a picture of me and Toby yesterday. (Photo credits to my boyfriend) Its strange how one really bad day can set you back from months work, but I’ll pick myself up and dust myself off.

I’m hoping to have today’s post re-written by tonight and ready for you all tomorrow, along with tomorrows intended post.

And again, I truly can’t express how much I appreciate all the supportive and heartwarming comments and messages. I was planning on doing a little giveaway this week but I really want to give back and show just how much reading my posts, following me and supporting me really means to be.

Instead I’m going to be planning a big giveaway, where there can be up to at least 3-4 winners. Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a lovely Friday night and even better weekend.

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