Mental Health Week 2021 – Nature

If you hadn’t heard already, this week is mental health week and like every mental health week that’s held each year by the Mental Health Foundation this year holds a new theme: Nature.

Mental Health Awareness Week - Nature, nature, mental health, mental wellness, mental wellbeing, awareness, mental health blogger, blogger, blogging, littletinkablee
Mental Health Awareness Week – Nature

For me nature is something I have always been surrounded by. A wooded area in my old town home used to be my frequent playground and animals have always been constant companions in my life. I don’t think I could survive without loosing myself to nature at least 2 to 3 times a week, it’s like a medicine that I need to take weekly that helps to rejuvenate me.

Mental Health Awareness Week - Nature
Mental Health Awareness Week – Nature

Nature is so central to our psychological and emotional health and benefits us in SO many ways and to avoid or ignore those benefits and the beauty of nature is simply like us avoiding medicine when we are sick, except this medicine doesn’t have a particular taste and doesn’t come in a bottle but it helps our mental state just as well.

With the rise in social media over the years a lot of people have forgotten how important the simplicity of walking down a dirt path/road or listening to the birds sing their songs are truly needed to help us and our racing minds slow down a little. It helps us to stop/slow down to apricate the small good things in life, which with all the negativity and fear that circles us constantly it feels so important that we can still acknowledge and appreciate the smaller things in life.

Suffering with sever anxiety and to one point so sever that I never left my house for a little over a year for absolutely anything, I never felt as though I was alive but simply just going through the motions of life. When I was able to push myself into going for little walks or taking friends/family’s dogs for a walk through small wood areas or parks/fields it felt like a soothing balm to my anxiety filled soul.

As some can imagine being secluded to only four walls has horrible affects to the mental health and although I still find myself tucking myself away from society a lot of the time I have made so much progress from my darker days/nights when couldn’t even walk out the back or front door to stand in my own garden without being overtaken by my anxiety.

Before I was unable to leave my house, before my anxiety took full control of my life I had already been diagnosed with depression and was in the process of being diagnose with an eating disorder. My only true escape was when I wandered off into the woods or took a walk where I knew no one really walked other than a few dog people walking their dogs.

When I was little girl to escape a lot of home problems and the feeling of overcrowding (I have a BIG family) I would hike up the welsh hills/mountains until I reached the very top, I’d spend hours just basking in the nature around me and laughing at the sheep running around, playing and eating grass. It was a true escape for me, it always was and still is and probably will always be my escape, my safe haven and my soothing balm.

Without the escape of nature I don’t know how I would have been able to cope mentally at those times, sometimes a walk in the park or woods is the thing that lets me stop and breath without feeling like huge weight is trying to crush me.

Mental Health Awareness Week - Nature
Mental Health Awareness Week – Nature

In nature I can feel the tension leave my body, a smile suddenly appears on my face and all those racing thoughts I couldn’t stop before suddenly become silent. It’s as though nature keeps my negative thoughts at bay, allowing the positive to flow through and try and heal some of the damage from the bleak and gloomy thoughts.

Recovery from mental health and from physical health can be daunting and at times discouraging as at time you can find yourself slipping back instead of forwards, and for me nature place such an immense role in helping me through my recovery.

I’m no where near to where I want to be but in my own time I am slowly getting there. So remember, recovery, it isn’t easy but it is possible and there is no time length to recovery. Recovery last as long as you need it too and it should all happen at YOUR own pace, so never compare your recovery journey to someone else’s recovery journey. We’re all on different yet similar journey’s and just like we respect other’s we should respect our own journey and struggles.

Mental Health Awareness Week – Nature, my growing bump 2021

I am not where I want to be in life, but just being able to go out on a 10 minute walk makes me feel so much more free than when I was secluded to simply four walls. For me nature is the natural balm for the soul.

Baby update – Pregnancy Journey Journal

Monday 26th April 2021

Today is the day we get to find out if we’re having a little girl or little boy and I couldn’t be more nervous and excited at the same time.

I’m so excited to finally know the gender of my little baby but so nervous that there may be problems or complications, it’s been my biggest fear since finding out I was pregnant.

Almost everyone in my life (apart from about three people) who think my baby is going to be a little girl and up until two days ago I whole heartily believe my baby was a girl too. What made me second guess? it was a dream I had on Saturday of my baby sleeping in a moses basket and my baby was a boy in my dream wrapped up in a blue blanket. I remember telling my partner and family that that was my baby telling me he was a boy, especially because I’ve spent most of this pregnancy calling my baby a her as I was that sure then that’s what my baby was going to be. Now? I’m really not sure. Though after my dream I’m now leaning a little bit more over to a boy.

It’s 12:16pm and just under two hours before we get to find out what gender our little one is. So exciting!

Some BIG news! – A Journey into Motherhood

I have some exciting and life changing news that I wanted to share with you all. It’s taken me a little while for it to sink in and we’ve kept things quiet to allow us some time to let our news sink in fully, as it came as quite a shock to say the least.

My sweet-pea, first baby scan, scan photo, motherhood
My sweet-pea, first baby scan

But my big news is….

I’m Pregnant!

Yup, you read that right.

I have little bun in the oven, as they say.

When I first found out I didn’t what to think or what to feel. I did end up telling one of my younger sisters first, before telling my partner an hour later, and then my mum. I’ll never forget my mums reaction, she was SO happy, she threw her hands in their and gave a little dance in celebration. I really wished I’d decided to record telling her but there were so many thoughts and emotions running through me that I just wanted to get it out, to tell those close to me. I really needed support and my family is my best support system.

So far pregnancy has been well and truly hitting me hard. I’ve been hit really bad with “Morning” sickness, It’s not been pleasant. I’m still struggling with my eating disorder which comes with it own challenges and even more thoughts that fill my head. Am I eating enough? Is my body strong enough to carry this pregnancy through? Am I giving my baby everything he/she needs? Am I doing enough to see this pregnancy through healthy? Those of which are just the tip of the iceberg of thoughts that barge through my mind on a daily basis.

But despite the bad, despite my own fears, baby is doing amazing and I’m really excited to go through this new journey of motherhood.

For so many reasons I thought this day would never come and although I would have perhaps waited a little longer…. If I had the choice, I’d have things go exactly the same way. I wouldn’t change a thing.

This baby doesn’t know it yet, but he/she is already So loved and adored by many. She/he is already bringing a little light into people life, it certainly has in mine.

scan photo, baby, baby scan, first scan, motherhood
My sweet-pea, first baby scan

I went for my very first scan on 2nd March and I can’t even describe to you what it felt like when I saw that little baby pop up on the monitor or how relieved I was when they told me there was only one in there! I had a little cry to myself in the car while looking at the scan photos. I just felt this huge wave of relief while me and partner sat there watching our little baby kick her/his legs out and show herself/himself off a little (although he/she was being stubborn and refusing to move from her/his spot so we couldn’t get any face shots, all side shots while she/he floated upside down in the lower part of my belly).

I can’t wait for this “morning” sickness to fade, for the exhaustion to ease up so I can get to enjoy more of the experience of being pregnant because I won’t lie, so far it just feels as though I’m walking around with a constant cold of some kind between the “morning” sickness and constantly feeling drained.

I still almost can’t believe it, I find myself constantly staring at my scan photos. I can’t wait to find out the gender and more so I just can’t wait to have this little baby out into the world and into my arms.

Motherhood is my new journey, I’m scared, I’m excited and I’m so ready. More so than I thought I would ever be. And thankful to have my soul mate right there along side me through it all.

Its going to be crazy & amazing going from just me and him (and our cats) to having this tiny little human to care for and look after.

my little sweet-pea